Re: Do people raise their kids anymore?

Posted by wisbaker on November 12, 2012 at 09:45:37 from (207.118.181.192):

In Reply to: Do people raise their kids anymore? posted by showcrop on November 12, 2012 at 05:14:03:

Part of it's parents, part of it's the kids and part of it's our society.

Parents- I grew up in a smaller community, my graduating class was 77 people. My
best friend in High School was a year older than me in the class ahead of me. My
friend's younger brother was a year younger than me but in my class, he got moved
ahead in grade school because he was "gifted". The younger brother- any
stereotype of a nerd fits him, he is smart, reads faster than anyone I ever knew
and would do his home work while playing the piano, especially if he was playing
piano for the chorus, school or community musicals. When the revenge of the
nerds movie came out his sister offered to take him to it (he didn't drive) but
she informed him he couldn't wear plaid pants with a plaid shirt and the pocket
protector had to stay home. He earned a national honor society merit scholar
award when we graduated. His ACT score was 33 out of a possible 36 and yes he had
very little to no social skills. He goes off to college to study computer
science, graduates from college in the same time it took me (5 years), but
doesn't do much, moves back home and doesn't do very well in the job market. As
time goes by his dad dies and the rest of the kids get married and move out, just
him and his mom at home on the farm. Fast forward 35 years, son is still living
at home, mom dies he's all alone and hasn't been able hold a job or continue a
relationship of any significance. I am still friends with the older brother and
after his mother's passing he tells me he feels some responsibility to his
younger brother to try to get him help and or insure he's taking care of himself.
About a Year after the Mom dies we have our High School Alumni Banquet, every
graduate from our school is invited back for dinner. I end up setting at a table
with one of my brothers, my friend and his brother. In the 40 years I've known
the little brother this was the most normal I've ever known him to be. Seems
maybe Mom was playing on some of his social problems to keep her little boy at
home for what ever needs she had, and so she wouldn't have to be alone, with her
gone he finally had to grow up (at 48 years old).

This post is already too long so I won't preach about the other reasons I feel
our kids aren't growing up. I have a nephew that was borderline but after a tour
in Iraq he's been worthless. Another Nephew is trying, but not having much luck
getting his life together, jobs just aren't available for him that'll cover
medication he needs. I think both these boys got kind of screwed up after their
parents used them as pawns to get back at each other after their divorce. Their
younger half brother- honor student, eagle scout and is studying engineering at
Michigan State University, but his Mom & Dad never messed with him to get at the
other parent or offered "come live with me and you won't have rules" (and I don't
have to pay child support).

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