Re: OT ,kids behavior

Posted by Inno on July 28, 2010 at 19:38:39 from (76.67.26.143):

In Reply to: OT ,kids behavior posted by Bryan iniowa on July 28, 2010 at 18:09:33:

Structure, discipline, respect(goes both ways) a firm hand, help when they need it, a bit of fear and lots of love. All those things in the proper proportions and you've got it made. At the age of the original poster's children there should be no problem turning things around.

Perfect example is my son, 9 years old, lives with his mother for the school year and comes here for the summer. It's like it's two different kids! Our household has structure, rules, consistency and we follow through on what we say. Her household is an absolute shambles, another kid from another guy she's no longer with, no structure, bedtime is a joke (he called me at 10pm last night and wasn't going to bed yet), she talks down to him and treats him mean and expects him to respect her. Ain't gonna happen!

So when he's there his behavior is bad, he can't do anything right, he disrespects his mother, his teachers have problems with him and the list goes on. When he's here I couldn't ask for a better kid........he has a bedtime, even though it's summer break, we eat meals together at a table, as a family, not in front of a TV. Meals are home cooked and not from a box out of the freezer. Manners are always corrected. This summer we didn't have any problems that even raised my anger with him even a little bit, he was genuinely happy here. Even though we're strict he still did not want to go back with his mother.

Bottom line, kids need consistency and structure in their lives. Not just sometimes, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Many parents nowadays have no time for it, and that's what's messing up kids more than anything. Turn off the screens and make your kids think for themselves.

Like someone else said, remember who is the adult in this situation. They act that way because YOU are allowing it to happen. Can't put the blame on anyone else 'cause they are kids and learn by example.

This post was edited by Inno at 19:39:43 07/28/10.

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