Posted by NCWayne on March 29, 2009 at 20:21:17 from (166.82.169.10):
Hey guys, call me crazy but I"m looking to see how other real men from across this country (and into others too as I know this forum has guys overseas too) feel about this situation. Please keep the comments as clean and as short as possible so I can print them out.
Here"s the situation. Sorry I can"t get more detailed but that would take way too long. Just trust me, I came into the situation in the middle when I got married and have seen and heard both sides from multiple sources so I"ve seen what did and didn"t jive on both sides. So, here it is in a nutshell...
A man and a woman get together and she gets pregnant. She tells him she is pregnant but he claims it isn"t his. Due to medical complications the date of conception spans a broad time frame in which she ended one relationship and started another so it may not be his but then again it may. Folling the birth, where she almost lost the child, she was faced with the demands of a premee that was 3 months early, and almost lost her job and house over the ordeal from having to take so much time off to care for the child. All this time he was been nowhere around. Fast forward about three years and he sees a pic and thinks the child looks like him. So he goes to a lwayer and says he want"s to establish paternity and have visitation so to do that he files a lawsuit asking not for what he says wants, but asking to take the child away from the mother and have her pay him support. This process gets strung on for two years until court.
Court day arrives and after all is said and done he gets 4 hours supervised visitation ever other weekend and ordered to pay support. On the supervised visits she ends up paying the childs way for activities, as well as for food, etc. In 6 months of them he pays everything only three times but can pay his step grandaughter"s way when she comes as well as buying presents for both kids.
Now the kicker, in 6 months he has never paid a full month of support nor paid what he does pay on time. He is self employeed doing siding, general carpentery, etc, and his claim is that there isn"t any work so he can"t pay, or that his back hurts too bad to work. Better yet he rides around and makes trips to Wal-Mart because he is board, turns off his phone so he can nap in the middle of the day without being disturbed, etc etc.
In conversations with him, he now want"s unsupervised visitation every other weekend, is filing for disability because of back problems, is planning to ask for the support to be reduced, takes ongoing careo f a horse, two large birds, several dogs, and a cat...that we know of.. then doesn"t really feel the child has a right to say what she want"s to do (she"s 6) because it isn"t what he want"s to hear, etc etc etc. Meanwhile the child, against his wishes, expresses no desire to spend a weekend with him without me or her mom present, likes spending time with him only because he buys gifts at the visitations, etc etc.
I know I used "etc" alot but I think you can get the general idea of the situation. So, my question, (and please keep the answers short, clean, but not necessarily sweet, LOL) what do ya"ll real men think of a guy like that???? I believe I know the answers but I"m curious since I know this board covers such a wide demographic of guys in age, etc. Thanks for any responses.
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