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Tractor Talk Discussion Board

Restless Tractor Syndrome (RTS)


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Posted by Kent in KC on November 15, 2007 at 18:53:08 from (68.143.51.46):

Do you, or someone you love, suffer from RTS? Do you lie awake at night wondering if that alkyd enamel you got from Orscheln is authentic enough for the other tractor men? Is that green really, no kiddin, Deere John Green?

What would you do if your neighbor found out you were runnin a Zenith instead of the original MS? Lordy. Do you have nightmares about not bein able to get outta your closed cab when the mfr only built an umbrella model? An alls the other farmers is pointin at you, laughin, squealin, talkin bout your m*nliness?

Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about FarmTrac. FramTrac is a pr*scr*pt1on m*d*cat1on for adults between the ages of 45-46 who are way too fat anyway, ain't never gonna get pr*gn2nt nohow and whose lives couldn't be adversely affected anyway you look at it. So eat the durn thing and shush up.

RTS affects twos of Americans every year, causing familial strife "You loot! What the heck do you need with another tractor? I swear, you ain't been the same since that squirrel bit you!",

... financial despair "You @#$!*^!!! You spent @%^#%^ on a $^$#@ nother old tractor?!! Why, I oughtta..."

...and community decay "Yup, I knowed it. That silly ole gasser done bought his fifth froze up M. His mama gone kill him so dead we ain't none of us gonna recognize the patee."

If you suffer from RTS, get help. If you don't get help from a major ph@rma co, get help somewhere, like a major br*w3ry, or something.

RTS. Don't suffer in silence. Suffer loudly.


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