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Re: Not about tractors but I REALLY need to know.


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Posted by MarkB on December 24, 2002 at 04:36:00 from (64.79.80.20):

In Reply to: Not about tractors but I REALLY need to know. posted by Bill Oakes NY on December 23, 2002 at 17:52:26:

Before you get too stressed, take a look at a breakdown of that $19K figure. I think you'll see that much of it can be significantly cut back, or even eliminated:

Catering/hall rental: This is the big ticket item. Let's say 20 bucks a plate for 200 guests would be $4000. Add another 10 bucks a head if you're serving drinks. But, being in the ministry, you probably have connections to a ladies church group that will cater the wedding for a fraction of that price. And if you don't have access to a church hall, the reception can be held almost anywhere: your back yard (rent tents) or maybe a friend's new pole barn. You don't have to serve alcohol, but if you do think about just buying a keg or some inexpensive champagne.

Wedding dress and tux rental. Your daughter doesn't have to spend $2000 for a dress that she will only wear once. Believe it or not, there are stores that sell used wedding dresses fairly cheap. If you don't have a half dozen bridesmaids, you don't have to buy dresses for them. Ditto for the groomsmen.

Photos: Shop around, get recommendations from friends. Unless you're absolutely confident that they will deliver, don't take up any of your amateur photographer friends up on offers to photograph the wedding. If the pictures are not good, you'll never hear the end of it. There are competent photographers who don't charge an arm and a leg, but you have to find them.

Band or DJ: You don't have to have a band or DJ, but if you do you may want to give a break to a band that's just starting out. Just make sure you and your daughter hear them play first!

Limousine rental: Why? If you're not serving drinks, this is a totally frivolous expense. If you are, then you just need a designated driver to get the wedding party to their destination.

You need to be upfront with your daughter and her fiancee. Explain to them that you can't afford an expensive wedding, and that you expect them to share the cost. Lay out a budget with them now, because things can get out of hand quickly. (Once your daughter has picked her bridesmaids, it's going to be difficult to say, "Sorry honey, you only get three bridesmaids, not four."

Personally, I think wedding costs have gotten completely out of hand. Twenty grand will make a down payment on a new house with money left over for furniture. Just because "everybody else" falls into this trap doesn't mean you have to.


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