Re: Damn if i do and Damn if I do not.

Posted by redtom on February 17, 2016 at 07:10:09 from (97.84.163.62):

In Reply to: Damn if i do and Damn if I do not. posted by Brent Zappe on February 16, 2016 at 20:39:21:

Just went through this 1 1/2 yrs ago with my folks. Mom full blown alzheimer, dad just really old him 94 her 91. I took care of them in their home but I work nights and it became obvious they were going to get hurt or killed in their home. We looked at in home care and it is DEFINITELY NOT like the TV commercial. Tried one 2 hr visit and that was enough. A very respected home care company sent out a VERY inappropriate caregiver. Also Tried to work out a deal with some local folks for cash-ladies that do that. The logistics of being sure that someone always shows up was too much, after all we all have car/family/ illness issues that can affect "employment". Plus my accountant warned me of doling out that quantity of money, plus liability of their injury or theft etc. So, they went together, Dad being a real trooper about it, to a beautiful Brand New Asstd Living facilty @ $6,700/mo for two. My dad still had enough wits to know that he needed to go for my mom's sake. My dad is now failing and has gone on hospice and mom on hospice too. It took me a year but I got dad some VA money that pays a portion now. Which leads me to the Flame starter: Who should pay? I agree its sad that one works their whole life and in the end must pay for care. But, and I repeat But, there is also the right thing to do and pay your own bills if you can. My dad worked hard and saved money FOR THEIR CARE, not for me and my siblings. And It was/is his wish to pay his own way. I could have played the "shell game" with his money, and Granted, the money will be mostly gone and if his land has to be sold I hope a family member can step up, I can't right now, but I know they get top notch care now. There is also something to be said for being able to go where you WANT instead of the next available medicare bed in a nursing home because you're "broke". They say 80% of people will outlive their money and It appears my dad may not do that but its been a real nail biter. Email open if you'd like to talk off line

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