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Tractor Talk Discussion Board

Mrs Ia Roy passed away (long)


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Posted by Ia Roy on April 07, 2015 at 23:49:38 from (72.171.192.118):

Julie passed away on Sunday evening the 29th. She was 57 years 9 months and a 7 days old. She had fallopian tube/ovarian cancer. Surgery was on Christmas eve. She really never got strong enough to take chemotherapy. She had spent the first week of February in the hospital and she entered the hospital again on March 10th. She did get chemo that week and the next splitting the first round on Thursday and the following Tuesday. It was too late by then as the cancer had come back and was making fluid that filled her lung cavities and abdomen. They drained both and later put drain tubes in her chest to keep from refilling. She didn't want her abdomen drained again, and by that time they might not have done it anyway as her white blood count and platelet count were so low from the chemo that they didn't want to put another hole in her because of risk of infection and bleeding. (With the fluid she was unable to breathe efficiently and the carbon dioxide built up in her blood effectively poisoning her.)
She was able to have 2 of the 3 granddaughters climb into bed to say goodbye. She perked up for a few minutes to tell them she loved them and they told her the same. About 4 or 5 minutes of that and she was wiped out. We coaxed her last wishes out of her and brought her to the local hospital under hospice care. We got her here in the early afternoon. Her father was able to get there to see her as he can't travel and hadn't seen her for a couple weeks. When I left her around 9 that night, I told her she didn't have to hang on for anyone else if she didn't want to. I got a call less than an hour later and she had passed. She looked more peaceful at that time than I had seen her in a long time. Making arrangements was difficult, but with the help and support of the family and friends we made it through. The reality of it probably hasn't fully hit home yet as she was in the hospital so long that being alone in the house wasn't entirely new. Tonight I have some aches and pains from going to the chiropractor and can't sleep. This is the first time that has happened, but probably won't be the last. We were married 38 years last October and it is hard to remember being alone before she was in my life. I am left with 3 grown sons and 3 young granddaughters. Two and two of them live less than 10 minutes away as do her parents. Her parents are taking it very hard as they moved down here from central Minnesota so she could take care of her mother, who has been fighting cancer for about 13 or 14 years. They also buried another daughter and grandson who were murdered more than 25 years ago. They never got over loosing them and this has brought many bad memories back.
Simple happenings on the news on in the paper make me think to tell her something, but then I realize I can't. Her flower beds will start blooming soon and she will not be here to enjoy them. Her cat in the house thinks I am her best friend although we really don't like each other. I tolerate the cat in her memory.
Excuse the rambling. Tell your spouse you love and appreciate them every day. You never know how long they will be with you. Share the business part of your partnership so either one can pay the bills on time and not be overwhelmed if the task is suddenly yours as it is with me now. I have many questions that are difficult to get answers for and may never get them.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Make it a point to enjoy life as much as you can and to share it with loved ones.


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