In general, I don't think its abnormal to become frustrated, depressed or completely adversely affected when and if life throws a or a hailstorm of curve balls. I'd like to think a person would be abnormal if they did not react or feel that way at times during ones life, as life in general can really go from one extreme to another, and we have to remember, everyone is different, every situation unique. So when you ask if anyone else has had these thoughts, realize without hesitation, you are not the only one, just the reasons, the situations, medications, heredity, mental illness's and or how many other similar reasons are unique to that person. That's the reality of it, it happens, and the fact that you are cognizant of it, know something is up, suggests you are trying to exist with a conflict going on between your will to live and your will to end your life. With that realization its what you do that may determine the outcome.
At this juncture, you may find solace with what people post about it here, but realize that if you want to live, and that is purely up to you, IMMEDIATELY seek help, professional help, someone who will unequivocally listen, who will help you pull yourself out of the hole you are in, heal and recover, but you have to make the move to do it and you have to do it IMMEDIATELY.
The alternative is final, its gruesome, its selfish and its undeniably highly destructive. I live in the aftermath of this, not by choice. Its an easy way out of a problem, anything it life worth doing is not going to be easy. Only you can decide, only you can seek help and find a cure, doing nothing, depending on your persona, it may overwhelm you.
The religious aspect of it, (to me) is a personal affair with those you associate with the lord, could be your church, a clergy person, whomever it is to you, nothing wrong with seeking guidance with or where you are comfortable doing so, you are obviously concerned about it, so go and seek help, but remember, you can only get that help if you stay on the top side of the dirt, meaning the IMMEDIATE threat is to get to the E.R. or where ever similar resources exist.
Personally, its not in my wiring, not everyone is like that, I don't understand or comprehend how the line is crossed when someone takes their life, that programming does not exist for me, everyone is different.
I've lived in the aftermath, for a few years, one a young man whom I hired, a senior in high school and was the absolute best, another a family member, trust me my friend, it is one big giant mistake to follow up on those feelings, YOU have to decide, right now, get help NOW, I firmly believe you can do it just by what you wrote, so I say get the help you need and things will work out, it may not be easy, but the alternative is not the solution.
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Today's Featured Article - Choosin, Mounting and Using a Bush Hog Type Mower - by Francis Robinson. Looking around at my new neighbors, most of whom are city raised and have recently acquired their first mini-farms of five to fifteen acres and also from reading questions ask at various discussion sites on the web it is frighteningly apparent that a great many guys (and a few gals) are learning by trial and error and mostly error how to use a very dangerous piece of farm equipment. It is also very apparent that these folks are getting a lot of very poor and often very dangerous advice fro
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