Re: Irresponsible Dad

Posted by NCWayne on April 08, 2013 at 06:58:50 from (173.188.169.54):

In Reply to: Irresponsible Dad posted by showcrop on April 08, 2013 at 05:14:55:

The wife and I are going through this with my step daughters biological father. He does the same 'handyman' type of work and works strictly for cash. He also 'works for friends' but never recieves a 1099, W-2, or any other documentation on what he makes. We've been fighting this situation for going on 5 years now and I can tell you for sure there is no really good way to do anything when you can not absolutely prove what he is doing. In our case the guy has pretty much hung himself several time with his own, handwritten paperwork showing what he says he makes, and has been slapped on the wrist once and sent to jail once too. Thing is it doesn't seem to matter what we do he simply doesn't seem to care.

The sad thing is paying support and custody/visitation are seperate in the eyes of the state. In other words he still gets his visitation wether he pays or not. To me this is BS. If the parent with primary custody doesn't pay to support the kid DSS would take them in a heartbeat, but when a noncustodial father doesn't pay his support, it doesn't matter, "he still has rights" to see the kid regardless. If you ask me, no pay, no play, but unfortunately our illiustrios justice system doesn't feel the same way.

All that said, the thing that really kills you in a situation like this is that you can take him to court for civil contempt, which is easy as all you have to prove is that he hasn't paid. Thing is all this gets him is a slap on thw wrist. If you go for criminal contempt, which would get him locked up for not following the judges order and paying, you have to PROVE he has or had the ability to pay and chose not to. If you can't PROVE he had that ability, then getting a judge to find him in criminal contempt isn't going to happen. Unfortunately with someone like this guy proving anything is near impossible when he works for cash, unless you get lucky and he provides paperwork that shows you what you need to know and proves the case against himself for you.

Ultimately I feel for your situation as we have been fighting the same thing for nearly 5 years. Unfortunately, bad as I hate to say it, and I know you hate to hear it, short of the things I mentioned there really isn't alot you can do.

Now as some have suggested you can turn him over to the state. If your lucky enough to live in a smaller area, not somewhere like Charlotte, NC that has millions of people, you might get good results out of them. Even then they are going to be converned first with the cases where the state has money invested in the kid before they are ones where they don't. Ultimately they can, (at least in NC) take someone's drivers license, hunting license, put a lein on their vehicles, etc, etc, and basically do all they can to make the guys life a living he!!. Unfortunately to do this means that the guy has to care about things to begin with as he can easily drive with no license, etc, etc just as long as he doesn't get caught.

Like I said, I know things probably differ a bit from state to state, but if your states laws are anything like those in NC, all I can say is Good luck, your daughter is going to need it.

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