jokes

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her
nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I"d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says
his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it"s okay,
he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some
collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain
elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she"ll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There"s a frog called Kermit Jagger out
there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants
to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is
this?"

(you"re gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It"s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man"s a
Rolling Stone."

A few hours later he rode triumphantly back to the ranch, with the dead cougar draped over the saddle. Dale came out on the porch, and in her lovely soprano voice, sang, "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed ya' new shoes?"

I laughed my a$$ off!! Goood'n!! ~brad

WINTER BLONDE
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. After he rolls down the window, she says "Hi, my name is Tiffany, and you are losing some of your load!"
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
This time the trucker lowers the window. As if they"ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Tiffany, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up and knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window again. Again she says "Hi, my name is Tiffany, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next Light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is Kevin. It¢s winter in Michigan and I"m driving the SALT TRUCK!"