Subject: The Indiana Farmer
A farmer from the cornfields of Indiana dies and goes to hell. Once he's there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest of the folks are. He checks his gauges and sees that it's 95 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes to the farmer and asks why he's so happy. The farmer replies, "I like it here. It's just like plowing my fields in June." Unhappy with the farmer's response, the devil goes back to his controls and turns the temperature up to 105 degrees and 90% humidity. After making the adjustment, the devil goes looking for the farmer. Finding him j ust as happy as can be, the frustrated ol' Devil asks the farmer again why he's so happy. "This is even better now! It's like pulling weeds in the fields during July!" says the farmer. The Devil, now quite upset and deciding to make the farmer reall y suffer, returns to his controls and cranks the heat up to 115 degrees and the humidity to 100%. "Now we'll see if that farmer is smiling!" he thinks as he goes looking for the farmer again. Finding him sitting on the floor as happy as ever, the Devil is madder than before. When he asks the farmer why he's happy now, the farmer answers, "This is great, it's just like driving my combine in August!" That was enough for the Devil. Running back to his controls, he turns the temperature down to a freezing 10 degrees below zero. Within a matter of minutes, the pools of molten brimstone begin to ice over. "Let's see what that farmer has to say about this," snickers the Devil to himself. To his surprise, the Devil returns to find the farmer running around and jumping for joy, yelling at the top of his lungs: "The Colts won the Super Bowl! I just can't believe it! The Colts won the Super Bowl!"
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