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OT-Ole's new cow

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Craig in MO

01-10-2007 11:26:42




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Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be 'North Dakota' for you non-Scandahoovians out there). He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls... the cow farts. Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home. When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens." Sven reaches under, pulls the teat and the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?" Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?" Sven says, "My wife is from Nordakota."

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someone used my name

01-11-2007 09:03:19




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
As Sven was walking up to knock on Ole & Olga's door, he noticed their dog laying in the front yard furiously licking his butt. When Oly answered the door, Sven said "vell Oly, I tink dere is someting bad wrong vit chur dog". Noo Sven, Oly replied... Olga chust fed him some lutefisk (sp??) and he's tryin to get the taste outta his mout!!!



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Robert in TN

01-11-2007 00:54:29




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
Boudreaux, Thibodaux, Gautreaux and Pierre all went on a hunting trip. They only had two tents and no one wanted to sleep with Boudreaux because he snored so loudly. The others decided that to be fair they would rotate who had to sleep with Boudreaux. Pierre had to sleep with him first, and he stepped out of the tent next morning grumpy, with bloodshot eyes, and his hair a mess. The rest say "Man you look turibble". He replied, "Man that Boudreaux snore so loud, I couldn't sleep a wink....I just watch him all night long" The next night was Thibodaux's turn. Same thing next morning, Thibodaux all grumpy with blood shot eyes. They all say " Man Thibodaux, you look like a train hit you". Thibodaux say, "Yeah, from the noise you da thought there was a train was in my tent. All I could do was watch Boudreaux snore all night long." Third night was Gautreaux's turn. Next morning he come to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed, happy and whistling, and said "Good morning all". They can't believe it. They say "How da hell did you get sleep with all dat snoring?" Gautreaux say, "Well Boudreaux and I get ready for bed and I reach over and kiss him on the cheek and pat his a$$ and said "Good night sweetpants"..... ...and Boudreaux stay up and watch me all night!

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Dave from MN

01-10-2007 19:20:48




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
Too funny, as I was reading these post My Dear Aunt sent me this one. She is keeping in good spirits as she is currently battling her 2nd time with breast cancer, currently on her 3rd treatment of chemo. Please say a prayer for her. Her name is Deloris.
Well Here it is...

Blizzard

Up there by Lake Woebegone it was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when Lena got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She remembered Ole's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made Lena feel much better and sure enough in a little while, a snow plow went by, and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow, she was feeling very smug as they continued, and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.

After quite sometime had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled her to roll down her window.

The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of Ole's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was OK with him, and she could continue if she wanted... but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Kmart next.

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Aaron Ford

01-10-2007 17:59:59




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
Ole got a new dog and called Sven over to see it. "Dis here is one of dem pedigree-d dogs from Ohio". Sven says, "How can ya tell?" Ole says "Raise his tail, it's stamped right der!"

Let's go Mountaineers,

Aaron



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boo

01-10-2007 17:43:30




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
Those were good..indeed !



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Chris in MO

01-10-2007 17:23:17




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
Used to live up by Lake Superior. Now I'm in the Ozarks. Oh, do I ever miss Sven and Ole. No one down hear really understands Sven and Ole.

Of course, you heard about the time Sven and Ole were talking about birthdays. Sven tells Ole,"I got a brand new chainsaw fer my wife." Ole comments,"Dats a pretty good trade if you can work it."

Christopher



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JMS/MN

01-10-2007 19:35:25




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Chris in MO, 01-10-2007 17:23:17  
Lena didn't understand Sven too well, so she filed for divorce. Judge said to split the property 50-50, and said he'd give Lena $200 a month for alimony. Sven said, "Dat's mighty nice of you Judge, and I'll try to kick in a few bucks for her too."



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DitchWI

01-10-2007 12:36:44




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 Re: OT-Ole's Vacation in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
Ole and Sven go to Australia for a beach vacation,but they can't seem to make it with any of the girls.So they go ask the local lifegaurd for some advice."Mate,it's obvious," says the lifegaurd."Your wearing them old,baggy Minnesota-style swim trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos-about two sizes too small and drop a fist sized potato down inside 'em. I'm telln'ya you'll have all the babes ya want! The following day,they hit the beach with their spanking new tight Speedeos and their fist sized potatos. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as they walked by, covering their faces,turning away,laughing...looking sick!
So they went back to the lifeguard again and Sven asked him "Vat's wrong now? We still aren't picking up babes." Jaheesus!" said the lifeguard.
"The potato goes in the front!"
Sorry,but heard this minutes before Graigs post.
DitchWI

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Tim Shultz

01-10-2007 11:58:20




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 Re: OT-Ole's new cow in reply to Craig in MO, 01-10-2007 11:26:42  
LMFAO! thats a pretty darn good joke.. thanks! Tim



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