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calling all lawyers (semi long)

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chris sweetland

11-30-2005 14:18:42

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ok heres the thing im 16 years old and pay rent to my step father i do not like him i love my mom but i think if i stay here much longer things arnt going to go well. i have considerd emancipation but i dont want all the hard feelings left over, convincing my mom to let me leave willingly will never work. so im thinkin this, if you lived in an appartment you didnt like you would move right? i pay rent making me a renter so i should be able to move. i live in ct if the state matters but i have know clue of the law so i was hopeing i might get some help form you guys here at yesterdays tractors

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Phil and Cody

12-01-2005 15:22:43

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

Chris firstly ,,,your 16 dude not 20 ,,,if your step dad is being a prick like you say ,,hmmm maybe your screwing up .....suck it up sunshine ...
I just recently became a stepdad myself and me n my stepson read this together and had quite a talk about it ,,,he's only 11 ,but I told him that he was gonna think he know's everything about life when he was 16 too.....
good luck and keep er cool and what the heck does this have to do with tractors ?????

Cody's advise was stop complaining and try and have a level headed (My words)talk with him ,,,your step dad...
none of us really know your situation ,,but we've all been through allot of crap and I'm here to tell you your step dad is right most of the time..... although my family's rule was as long as your in school you don't have to pay rent ,,HMMM that may even be illigal ,,your only 16 he may not be aloud to charge you rent ...check into it...anyway ,,it's allot more expensive out there then you think.. so ask yourself is it REALLY THAT BAD...
I'm sure me in cody will be having our own little wars I hope I will not be a prick all the time...

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dr.sportster

12-01-2005 06:17:02

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

If you live in Connecticut isnt that not a bad rent to pay?In my opinion if your in school you should not pay any rent.However 200 a month if it comes with food is not too bad.Also you said you worked for your stepfather.If you dont like him then quit and work for someone else.Are you able tp start saving for a car?If I was your age I would get some headphones listen to music and ignore everybody.Is the stepfather teaching you a trade?If not you dont need him he needs you.Either quit working with him and devote more time to your school studies or work for someone else.A household with a teenager is a household in crisis.Hang in there it will only get better.Your looking at a couple grand to get an apartment with security deposit and all so Maybe make the best of the present situation.The last thing you need is to owe money to some weasel lawyer.

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HuskerMedic

12-01-2005 05:31:12

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

Not in the same state as you, so laws may vary somewhat but I'll share my experiences with you(disclaimer:not an attorney and did not stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I do have a little experience with the court system in my state).

My wife was emancipated by the courts at age of 18 (19 is the age of automatic emancipation in my state).

The judge that presided over the case took into account her ability to fend for herself. She was working full time, in a steady, responsible job position (she was a 911 dispatcher).

I think any judge is going to take into account the ability of the juvenile to care for himself/herself. If you don't have a full time job or the obvious ability to take care of yourself, I doubt you'll get a judge to hear your case.

Just an idea-any possibility of getting stepmom to become your legal guardian?

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Nebraska Cowman

12-01-2005 05:19:34

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

Chris, don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. You think it is tough now. Try working full time and going to school too. Now in Nebraska I know you can quit school and be on your own when you are 16. I know. My boy did it and later got his GED. I don't recomend it. Email me if you need to chat more.

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chris sweetland

11-30-2005 15:50:01

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

my step father is just an all around prick i have a pretty sctewed up family my father is moving to north carolina with his girlfriend (not the girl i call my stepmother that is his ex wife) my father is supposed to pay child support and some times does i work for my step father, my sister and any odd jobs that i can get and go to school i will not quit school but i need to slow down from the work i am lucky this night but most otheres im out till 10-11 o'clock

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mjbrown

11-30-2005 18:20:51

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 15:50:01

Hi Chris;
Mark Twain wrote that when he was a teen his father was an idiot. When he was thirty he was amazed at how much his father had smartened up.
Having a convoluted family situation makes it harder for you but I can assure you that every guy here thought his father (natural or step) was a prick/idiot, you name it when we were in our teens if he was doing his job of making us toe the line.
Being a teen is a time of mental turbulence and it is hard to understand that it is a temporary state of affairs. It will pass and you will come out of it ok. Just hang in there, vent to someone when you need to( like us) and don't do anything stupid that you will regret.

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Coldiron

11-30-2005 16:23:01

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 15:50:01

Chris, Now is your chance to change the cycle. Instead of copying what people around you are doing, alter their actions and do them yourself. If you were to leave and live with your stepmother and sister where would you work then? Sit down and talk with your step father man to man and discuss what is happening and how you feel about it. (dont let anger come into the conversation) It may be that your mother needs to report the non payment of your support from your father. I paid child suport for 2 for 16 1/2 yrs and never missed one payment and that is the way it should be. If he is out of work he should catch up when he gets a job. That is also the way it should be. Is your Father aware that you are having to pay rent in your mothers care? He should be told so that he will know that his nonpayment is a hardship on you or would the rent continue even if he paid? Like the other posters said, keep a cool head about this. Good luck on the hours you have available for studying and growing up. Could you make more money working for someone else and what kind of work do you do for your SF?

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Coldiron

11-30-2005 15:34:27

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

Chris, I am not an attorney but would like to know a few things. Does your mother get Child Support from your Father? Where do you get your rent money from to pay your Step Father? Is there an option to live with your Father. You said your Step Mother would be the adult in your new place if you moved. Is your Father in the picture at all? I think you should find out who is responsible for your well being that was assigned through the court during the breakup of your parents. There is law in how you are taken care of and who you are responsible to.

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Luke S

11-30-2005 15:31:45

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

I agree with everything Dave said. Also, you may need to cool down a bit? What are the problems between you and your step father? Give us some details. I have had 3 stepmothers and a stepfather in my life so I have a lot of experience with these type's of things. I was a real punk at 16, I am lucky my parents didn't kill me all together. Sometimes the hormones and rage we have at 16 don't always allow us to see things clearly as they really are. Give us some more insight as to what kind of problems there are between you two. And I'll give you some advice about something I wish I'd have done when I was your age instead of waiting til now, find Christ. I know I look at a lot of things differently than I did when I did not understand what Christ had done for me personally. Many petty things that upset us are pretty small when you consider that Christ boar your sin's and those of the whole world so we will never die.

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chris sweetland

11-30-2005 15:07:32

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

i didnt make my self clear i would be moving in with my sister and step mother i pay $200 a month there is no abuse

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11-30-2005 14:50:43

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

Are you paying market rate for room and board? room only? seperated apartment that dould be rented to someone else? Lots not disclosed here.

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dave from MN

11-30-2005 14:43:23

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to chris sweetland, 11-30-2005 14:18:42

Chris, why you are having to pay rent at 16 years of age is beyond me. I really suggest talking to another relative, church pastor, of school counselor. Getting your own place just cause you pay rent already aint the answer. You will have other bills which will break you fast, and at 16 DO NOT do anything which would make you have to quit or fall behind in school. Some times a letter is easier to say what is on your mind. If there is ANY abuse going on you need to let some one know , NOW. I am fairly strict with my boys and my step son sometimes thinks I hate him or he hates me, but I have to be a parent now so he can be a good adult later, maybe there is some thing going on with your step father that you dont know about. Either way talk to some one close that can guide you, being on your own at 16 isnt the answer, living with a family member may be. If Mom isnt seeing the problems and refuses to allow you to leave, the courts may have to step in and assist you in a safe place to live, but talk to some one now, and with them you need some real heart to heart discussions with your Mother and step father. Good luck and God bless ya.

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skipper

11-30-2005 19:27:16

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to dave from MN, 11-30-2005 14:43:23

Chris,
Dave gave some pretty good advice. There are level headed mature people who do really care. Key word here, - level headed mature and care. (Guess that looks like four key words, huh?) Anyhow do seek mature advisor to get total picture you deserve and should get. Skipper

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Bill in TN

12-01-2005 04:32:52

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Re: calling all lawyers (semi long) in reply to skipper, 11-30-2005 19:27:16

Cris.....sounds like things haven't been stabile in your life for awhile now..... ..Being a step father is a very hard job....I know because I was, and am one. Funny thing....my stepson is now 28.....and he'll tell me I'm his "real" father..... I raised him like my own..... it wasn't easy as I was always second best.....nothing like a mothers love for her son....and that's the way it should be..... ..

Yea....I put a boot in his butt when he needed it....Not to be mean, but to shape him to be a gentleman, and to give him the skills he needed to be sucessful and survive....It wasn't my job at birth but one I assumed when I married his mother.....He didn't learn easy.....

Now, 10 years later, he's starting to see why I did what I did..... ...So you pay rent..... .I didn't catch how much you pay, but learning that things arn't free and everything has a price is a lesson that's much better learned young..... .Learning to budget so that when you do move out you don't dig yourself a big hole is a skill you'll need..... .

I know you don't understand why things happen the way they do, and I know it's normal for a 16 year old to feel the way you do..... .even kids in a home with both biological parents have a few growing pains at your age.....

Hey.....if the guy loves your mother enough to marry her.....just maybe he loves you to..... I know I love my stepson just as much as my own daughters....in some ways more as my daughters were raised by another fellow..... .This other fellow is divorced and doesn't see my girls very often..... .but they love him too.....he was good to them..... and was there when they needed him..... he has my gratitude...and my respect.....and I will forever be indebt to him for what he's done..... ...Things are cloudy now.....but the picture will clear up over time..... ..Focus on finishing school and enjoying you teen age years..... they'll be gone soon enough and once there gone you'll never get them back..... slow down....your trying to grow up to fast..... ..

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