OT sneaky wife and my poor dog

A young woman brought her great Dane to the vet with the explanation that the night before while she was getting ready for her bath she felt paws on her shoulders and her pet mounted her.

The vet responded, "So you'd like him neutered, then?"

The woman looked very embarassed. "No, but can you do something about the claws?"

Is the other guy permanently crippled or just a temporary injury?

Get a new dog with all the hardware as a present for your wife.

No moose, we never got left on the trip north to the airbase. We were waiting for the last member of our group to arrive before departing. He was hassled for an extra hour at customs likely because he was a hunter and had a rifle. No matter he was all legal and had the paper work. While we were waiting one of the guys went to get something from downstairs and missed step on the way up. I got his son to call 911 and kept the frantic women from moving his head/neck etc. He landed almost in the recovery position but was deeply unconscious. Knocked his hearing aids out too. Total muscle relaxation, snoring when breathing and no pupil response. His colour, circulation, and respiration were good however. After a couple of minutes he was almost like a computer re-booting after a crash. The snoring quit and pupils responded. Had me worried for a moment when snoring quieted, thought he had quit breathing. It was tough observing with the family being all over us. In 5-6 minutes he was able to wiggle toes and squeeze hands. Then he was able to talk but no had short term memory. He's been hospitalized and successive CAT scans show some bleeding on and in the brain. The nero surgeons decided they would do more damage than good should they attempt repairs. We have gone from Tuesday planning on a great holiday. Afraid the guy was dying. Then figuring he would be discharged ok in a couple of days. Then figuring he was going to die. Now there is cautious hopes for recovery with moderate long term damage. Subdural hematoma if I recall correctly. The next available date at the fly in camp is just prior to out Oct 10th Thanksgiving. Problem is I promised fresh, not frozen turkeys to my customers. I値l have drive up a 1/3rd of the way through the hunt and fly in. That late in the year back in the far north had us snowed in for three extra days the last time. We ran out of booze, smokes, and food other than moose heart and liver. We tired catching fish but they would hardly bite. We had one nice big fish on the stringer and headed into shore while still trolling. When pulling up the stringer we found just the fish痴 head. Seems the other guy left the stringer too long and the fish got chopped short by the propeller..... ...