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Tractor Question? ;)

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Johnski

01-06-2005 23:38:57




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Just went out to the farm of my fathers sons second cousin twice-removed (once by force). Out in the barn is a smallish large metal thingy. It has two tires that are much bigger than the ones on my beemer and two smaller ones that seem to be stuck together under what I guess is the front. The tires are all good as they are only flat a little on the bottoms. It is reddish-orange-green and rusty all over. I have a couple of questions and I hope you can help.
1. Who is Alice Chambers and why is her name on the side?
2. Where are the controls for the heat/AC?
3. Why are there no cup holders?
4. Can I get at least $30,000 for this thing on E-Bay?

Thank You for any help, Clueless

P.S. ITS A JOKE!!! so lighten up already.

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sammy the RED

01-07-2005 19:53:31




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Johnski, 01-06-2005 23:38:57  
That would be your Dad's 1st cuzin, twice removed.
Makeing it your 3rd. cuzin ?



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wolfmantractor

01-07-2005 16:54:57




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Johnski, 01-06-2005 23:38:57  
That was George Allis & Stanley Chalmers. Hit the Egg nog one day & designed some real weird stuff-like a baler that made round bales & a manure spreader that threw out the side & a harvestor that cut & threw. Actually good egg nog. The heat/AC control is up - some call it sky & weather & stuff. Cup holders always bounce off & get plowed under along with that favorite shirt thta WAS on the fender a minute ago. With THIS explanation it'l fetch $30,001 & I'll take half being great uncle Stanley's favorite NEFFEW.

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paul

01-07-2005 09:11:36




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Johnski, 01-06-2005 23:38:57  
If you fix the AC on that AC, you might get the $30,000! :)

--->Paul



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Bill WI

01-07-2005 09:05:20




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Johnski, 01-06-2005 23:38:57  
If you look under the hood - valve cover or under the rear axles you'll probably find an oil - dust build-up that looks like an image of Jesus. That adds $50,000. Also it's convertable top is always down - fresh air. In summer a styrofoam cooler for a six-pack is bungeed on the rear fender. It can be shipped UPS or USPS., just use a money order as Pay Pal is UNSAFE.



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greenbeanman

01-07-2005 07:05:56




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Johnski, 01-06-2005 23:38:57  
To start with you will need to do a complete genealogy on your family to make sure this unit belongs to who you say it does. I would recommend going all of the way back to Adam and Eve to ensure that there is no error in your claim. I'm sure some professionals would be glad to undertake this task. I suspect that AT LEAST $30,000 will be needed to pay for this family tree.

There may be a type of flap valve on a pipe sticking out the top front of the unit. This is used to fasten a thermos bottle to. When the machine is operating a quick bump of the throttle will dump a little more coffee into your outheld cup. Since you hold the cup while pouring, no cup holder is needed. The pipe the flap valve is attached to also keeps the coffee hot.

You don't need heat or controls since you will have plenty of coffee in you. For AC you are on your own figuring out where the control is.

Can you get $30,000 on Ebay for it? Absolutely, but you will need to ship it to a foreign country and will be paid $60,000, but you will need to furnish your bank account number and pin number in order to complete the transaction.

Best wishes for a successful sale.

P.S. Don't forget to report your sale to the IRS.

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Roy in UK

01-07-2005 02:34:45




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Johnski, 01-06-2005 23:38:57  
Truth is stranger than fiction. A friend of mine (now long retired) once worked for a Fordson dealer here in England. His boss at that time had just employed a new secretary, and one of the first tasks he set her to do was "Take a letter please, to Allis Chalmers". When he came to proof read her letter, she had begun it with the words:-
"Dear Mrs. Chalmers"

I don"t somehow she was from an agricultural background.

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RustyFarmall

01-07-2005 00:44:58




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Johnski, 01-06-2005 23:38:57  
What do you mean joke? I think you may just have found the second most rare tractor ever built. If I have learned my history correctly, Alice Chambers was once married to the man who designed and built the infamous Essex Tri-Directional. In the divorce settlement, Alice demanded that she be given equal rights to the manufacturing of the ETD or she would not leave. Mr. Chambers wanted no part of that, so manufacturing began of the new tractor. For the first six months of production the tractors were required to be called MEAN OLD ALICE. The name was changed to Alice Chambers after the mysterious disapperance of Mr. Chambers.

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brian 1

01-07-2005 08:33:50




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to RustyFarmall, 01-07-2005 00:44:58  
I thought Ms Chambers was featured in the XXX movie Deep Throat? Make that eBay listing under movie memorabilia.



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Jack B. Nimble

01-07-2005 08:31:46




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to RustyFarmall, 01-07-2005 00:44:58  
I have a Farmall H with the same special coffee pouring valve on it except mine didn't work untill I paid the dealer in Nigera $13,500.00 to repair the connuter valve with a heavy duty thermal absorbtion spring. He also replaced the piston return springs so that the valve would have more "snap" to pour larger amounts of coffee. Now it really works well



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Dave (IL)

01-07-2005 10:18:40




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Jack B. Nimble, 01-07-2005 08:31:46  
Piston return springs ! DOAH! I KNEW I forgot sumptin'!



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Tim...OK

01-07-2005 09:56:04




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Jack B. Nimble, 01-07-2005 08:31:46  
I seriously doubt your connuter valve was at fault,those things are nearly bulletproof,sounds more like faulty wiring going to the muffler bearings to me..
HTH,
Tim



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Bob D. (La)

01-07-2005 15:03:27




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Tim...OK, 01-07-2005 09:56:04  
I was going to add something smart, but as my Mom always said: The first liar doesn't stand a chance around here. HTH.



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Harley

01-07-2005 15:02:26




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 Re: Tractor Question? ;) in reply to Tim...OK, 01-07-2005 09:56:04  
If everything else fails, get somebody to turn down some brass bushings to fit between the sticky up pipe and the manifold thingy and make that connection tighter and that should cure the spilled coffee problem. That is unless you are a purest, then you need to go to the Alice Chambers, no Agco, no New Holland-Agco, no Eurotractor, and get the part number and order a brand new one. Lots of luck, Harley

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