I read the post, and all the responses, and I must say they just about covered all the bases. But as a middle child of 3, and now a father of a 23-year-old son and a 19-year-old daughter at age 49, I think I've got a slightly different perspective.Dad's mother-in-law, my grandmother who's now 92, always referred to him as a "goldbrick"; that is, she thought he was as lazy as an old hound. Dad and his father ran a business; in the 1950's they sold Hudson carsm International trucks and Farmall tractors, as well as appliances, lawn mowers, rototillers, and anything else they could to make a buck. While it may not be much in today's world, in the mid-1950's they did gross sales of over $250,000--yep, that's a quarter of a million dollars, folks--a year in a town whose population didn't get over 3000 until the 1970's. Dad was the parts man, as well as a mechanic, painter, body man, salesman, delivery and setup man, and whatever else needed to be done. Grand-dad did pretty much the same, except the parts stuff, plus he was the welder/fabricator in the shop. As a kid, I hung around the shop because that was where I could spend time with Dad. My brother was more of a jock, and he spent his time playing baseball, basketball, football and such, and he was actually ashamed that my dad had to get his hands dirty to make a living. The only time he spent at the shop was when he either needed his bike repaired, or when he needed some money. I learned to work the parts counter, and I learned to twist wrenches (but Dad made me promise him I wouldn't do that for a living...and to this day, I've kept that promise). I wanted to learn to weld, but Grand-dad always said, "You boys [none of us kids had a name to him; it was always "you boys"] don't need to worry about that stuff." I guess that's one reason why, after I left the parts business after working it for over 37 years, I took a job that sent me to school for welding! Besides the shop, Dad had a custom mowing service with a Cub tractor and a Woods 42" belly mower. After working all day at the shop, Dad would get on the Cub, and often he'd be out mowing until after dark...sometimes, on a big job that SHOULD'VE been done with a bush hog, he'd be gone until after midnight. And somehow, during all this time, Dad managed to be a Scoutmaster, an officer in the local saddle club, and make sure we got to all our Boy Scout and 4-H functions. Mom was a stickler for activities for us kids, and she had us in 4-H [regular club and projects as well as the Horse and Pony club], Scouts, and saddle club horse shows [once a month] and trail rides [twice a month]. When I was in the 7th grade, I took on an afternoon newspaper route; at one point, I was delivering over 400 papers a day for a second-rate daily [M-F, plus Sunday mornings]. I stayed with that until the middle of my freshman year in high school...about where you are now. We didn't really have time for household chores, because we always had somewwhere else to be. But we learned about work and commitment; if you made a promise, you followed thru on it...no matter what. If it was snow and ice and below zero, those newspapers STILL had to be delivered. When his mom died, Dad made sure that all the arrangements were covered. When Grand-dad died, Dad was the only child, so it ALL fell on his shoulders...and, as usual, not one single detail was overlooked. In 1991, when Dad died unexpectedly of heart problems at age 61, I knew what to do. I just followed Dad's example, and while Mom and my brother and sister ultimately agreed with me, I was the one who took charge and made sure all the arrangements were made, and that all the bases were covered. That, in turn, was good training for when my own wife died unexpectedly of the same type of heart problem 15 months later, at age 36. Now, I'm just like Dad was; there are people who are out there who'll call me lazy. And, if "lazy" includes those days of "bustin' a$$" to get a job done so you can have the time off when it's over, I plead "GUILTY AS CHARGED." Don't get me wrong: Dad enjoyed his huntin' and fishin' and trail ridin' on his quarter horse, but most of those who called him "lazy" only saw that side...they never saw him "bustin' a$$" so he could HAVE that time off. My brother never learned that lesson; he STILL has trouble with time management, though I'll say he's gotten better over the years (he's HAD to). So watch your dad's example; I'll bet he's REALLY not demanding more of you than he does of himself...even if it IS more than he asks of your brother. I've found that I'm that same way with MY kids. My son, who has the high IQ, is the slow learner in that area. My daughter is good at getting her work done, paying her bills, and THEN enjoying the fruits of her labors WITHOUT the guilt. I'd wager that's exactly what your dad is trying to teach you. So hang in there, and look for the things you can learn from your chores, rather than concentrating on the drudgery...I promise you, it'll pay off in the long run.
|
