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OT: I busted a gut on this one.

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Kelly C

02-15-2006 19:44:37




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I never quite figured out why the urges of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit..... THEN We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,

"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled..... ..... ..... WHAT?! I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just

love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.

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Dave NE IA

02-16-2006 07:51:56




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 Re: OT: I busted a gut on this one. in reply to Kelly C, 02-15-2006 19:44:37  
I just got the punch line, men think with their heads----gooood one!

First off I don't understand this part about her being awake and all? Whats up with that?

Ever try --- Heck yes, of course I love you for your brain?

Honey I think it's just because you are over worked so I'm going to get you a maid first thing in the morning!

Before we were married you never said no!
and while we are on that subject neither did any of your girlfriends!

Just hold you! have you looked in a mirror latley? Besides I can't even reach around you anymore!

My line is --honey you are about to be real diapointed and I'm about to be real embarresed.

If that is yor final answer for tonight would you ask your best girfriend for me?---ok---ok---ok ---just settle down now----I guess I was a little inconsiderate, I understand why you are so upset and I'm sorry!----- Sooo then ----how about asking your hot sister?

Of course we can't comunicate with each other ---you used to be hot!

You want to just be held----hey hold this will ya?

Sorry the good Lord made me a horses paaaatoooot.

Can't seem to understand why yet but---- Divorced Dave NE IA

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Broomstacker

02-16-2006 07:51:19




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 Re: OT: I busted a gut on this one. in reply to Kelly C, 02-15-2006 19:44:37  
Thanks! Best day brightener I've read in a long time!



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scotty

02-16-2006 07:30:31




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 Re: OT: I busted a gut on this one. in reply to Kelly C, 02-15-2006 19:44:37  
Kelly, That was great :")

scotty



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Dandy Don

02-15-2006 19:59:43




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 Re: OT: I busted a gut on this one. in reply to Kelly C, 02-15-2006 19:44:37  
Kelly C, I,ve gotten a bunch of laughs reading some of your posts, but this one's the best. Ha,ha I supposed you're sleeping outside with the dog tonight. Whatadeal. Don Semper Fi



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Kelly C

02-15-2006 20:08:17




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 Re: OT: I busted a gut on this one. in reply to Dandy Don, 02-15-2006 19:59:43  
Oh no not me. I dont have that kind of guts.
This was in my work email. Very funny though.
If I ever took my wife shopping like that. My wife would get mad and just give me the LOOK.
Then say....." OK... What did you buy now?"
D'oh



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