Just a dad wrote on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 (PST): Great Question, many assumptions, many I's that seem to speak from experience. I don't make all the same assumptions, but have a question or two. Are you a boy or girl? Is your brother the only other sibling? Is there more to the story then you have said? Does your Dad listen if you ask his advice on anything? I do have two daughters that both believe I have favored the other. I always had work for them if I remembered to tell them (yes a written list). I believe they both learned to work as hard as a man without expecting too much. They both tell me now that an enitre generation of their peers have no clue what work is or how to finish something. My daughters used to get things by asking me what they could do to earn money working for me? I think they outsmarted me, by doing what I wanted any way, and getting paid for it? If that works your brother may want to do some of the work for the money. Then you will see if equal pay works out. Oh, my kids also asked for an exact example of what I wanted, and if my example was lax then so was their work (my fault). I hope you and your Dad work things out, but in the mean time find out what your brother wants and figure out a way he will work for it. have a great day anyway... a Dad Will wrote on Sunday, March 14, 2004 (PST): I don't know who posted this article, but as someone who is currently in the adoption process, I'd be awfully proud to have someone like that as a son. Tom wrote on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 (PST): Wow, If more children were wise enough to seek answers and able to find folks the quality those who replied I would lose my job as a counselor. That would be a very good day. Thanks! BDSpark wrote on Sunday, March 28, 2004 (PST): You're a special guy. A smart guy. Take all of the comments above and decide on how to proceed with your dad. If he's a sober man he will appreciate your adultness. Also, always remember that there is nothing wrong with working hard. I hope my kids turn out like you! God Bless! Jack wrote on Friday, September 03, 2004 (PDT): I noticed this post was a while back but I hope you read this too. As a dad I know we don't always see everything, and don't always make the right decisions, but as an only child I didn't have any bros. or sis. so try to develop a relationship with your brother and don't hold him in contempt. Next find a bible and read proverbs... it has 31 chapters so read one chapter a day (FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!) and you will grow wiser and smarter. Have you ever heard of Philo Farnsworth? As a young man he worked on his fathers farm, and read early electronics magazines that he found in his attic. The idea of television facinated him but noone had developed a prototype that worked.... One day while plowing his dad's fields he looked at the rows he was making and the idea of a device that projected an image in lines formed in his head. I could say the rest is history, but look it up for yourself. Philo was really the true father of television, all while a young man plowing his fathers fields.(I wonder if he was driving a Fordson?) I hope you develop a good work ethic too bad so many of the youth today think everything should be handed to them. Best wishes and keep us posted on how it is going. youngster wrote on Thursday, October 07, 2004 (PDT): hi guys i posted this post a while ago and when i first started to read it my heart kinda jumped cause i wasnt sure i wanted to see it again as i got chewed out on anouther form for asking this yes i am printing this as we speak and everyone would love to adopt me or so they say but im not sure im so great. i am just glad you all are here and to know someone i can \trust cause at school i cant and dont want to cause there all think there better thern this country boy. i thank you all for wrighting and not chewing me out for this and being supportive in the hobbie to tell you the truth im not quite sure what i would be doing if these forms wernt here. thanks guys your the best kruser wrote on Wednesday, April 13, 2005 (PDT): For all of the young kids out there looking for wisdom, guidance, learning and just a good friend, I will always look to a man of respect! Not only did he and Mom bring me into this world, but they also taught me what the world might be like. Funny as might seem, they were both raised on a farm and extended those virtues to our family. As much as I loved the farm back in the early 70's, I went to engineer school, my brother went pharmacy school, and my sister became a nurse and later married an insurance executive. Since we are the closest, Mom and Dad still ask what am I going to do to the tractors I have bought (OLIVERS). 1- I like them 2- I need them (for relief) 3- my daughter and stepson need to know about these things! We have just started pullling and showing and it is the BEST thing that can happen to kids - and ADULTDS they gordon hathaway wrote on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 (PST): You can take this for what it is worth. If you remember it your entire life it will do you well!! There was a sign above my fathers headboard and it is as follows-- "When the great scorer comes to write against your name, he'll write not whether you won or lost, but how you played the game!! Good luck ben20bb wrote on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 (PST): Im 15 and i have 1 brother who is 18. My brother doesnt do anything but sit on his computer all day and hardly goes out side. My dad dad gives him a chores, but he never does them he waits untill my dad askes me to do them. I dont mind doing stuff that my dad asks me because i know he workes a job he doesnt like just to support the family. So why put anymore stress on him by not doing the things he asks. My dad dairy farmed for most of his life with his dad and 1 of his brothers who never did anything unless he was forced to. Then about 16 years ago shortly after my dad got out of farming his dad died on the 706 while plowing. After his death my uncle who never asked for help with the farm couldnt keep up with inspections the farm went out of busness. After that all of the equipment sat out side to rot even some of the tractors. Right now im working by my self with a little help from my dad to get some of the 9 tractors going so i can bail hay for the 20 cattle that for some reason by uncle wont sell. but so far ive managed to get an old ih model 46 hay baler going that was sitting out side for about 7 years an old metal ih rake and an old ih sicle mower. I managed to get the farmall M running with endless tranny and engine problems, but fixing that M up was a great leaning experence for me. Then i got a ih 340 utility running that was froze up. and right now i am in the prosess of restoring the farmall 460 diesel which had a broken coneccting rod put two holes in the block. It is a lot of work but i think it is a good experience for me because ive been working at a resturant washing dishes for about 3 years. I hate the job but i have to have it to pay for parts and gas. But with doing all this ive learned you have to do stuff you dont want to do because some good will come out of it in the long run. Plus ive also learned that International tractor are probally some of the best tractors ever built ben20bb wrote on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 (PST): Im 15 and i have 1 brother who is 18. My brother doesnt do anything but sit on his computer all day and hardly goes out side. My dad dad gives him a chores, but he never does them he waits untill my dad askes me to do them. I dont mind doing stuff that my dad asks me because i know he workes a job he doesnt like just to support the family. So why put anymore stress on him by not doing the things he asks. My dad dairy farmed for most of his life with his dad and 1 of his brothers who never did anything unless he was forced to. Then about 16 years ago shortly after my dad got out of farming his dad died on the 706 while plowing. After his death my uncle who never asked for help with the farm couldnt keep up with inspections the farm went out of busness. After that all of the equipment sat out side to rot even some of the tractors. Right now im working by my self with a little help from my dad to get some of the 9 tractors going so i can bail hay for the 20 cattle that for some reason by uncle wont sell. but so far ive managed to get an old ih model 46 hay baler going that was sitting out side for about 7 years an old metal ih rake and an old ih sicle mower. I managed to get the farmall M running with endless tranny and engine problems, but fixing that M up was a great leaning experence for me. Then i got a ih 340 utility running that was froze up. and right now i am in the prosess of restoring the farmall 460 diesel which had a broken coneccting rod put two holes in the block. It is a lot of work but i think it is a good experience for me because ive been working at a resturant washing dishes for about 3 years. I hate the job but i have to have it to pay for parts and gas. But with doing all this ive learned you have to do stuff you dont want to do because some good will come out of it in the long run. Plus ive also learned that International tractor are probally some of the best tractors ever built Todd Blanton wrote on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 (PST): I can identify with the young one, myself. I grew up on a two thousand acre plantation and spent my entire childhood toiling in the red clay of the Carolinas. I can remember doing my home work on bales of cotton, as we ran the gin into the wee hours of the morning. My old man never got the word that slavery was abolished in 1865. Well, for me anyway. My brother... that is another story... Star baseball player, football player, all around jock, the envy of all. Now, I am forty two, own my own engineering company, am currently working on two alternative energy inventions that could possibly revolutionize the world, have been an instructor at a community college (the most demanding SOB alive according to some of my students) have an organically certified farm, and have been a published author. My brother... love him but is going no where. My old man is dead now. We were talking shortly before he unexpectedly passed away and he apologized for being so hard on me. I will never forget his comment as he said that in me he saw the potential for greatness. He also told me that he could have never made it without my help. We went through some very hard times that, truthfully, as a kid, I didn't totally understand the magnitude of. We lost our family farm, one that had been in the family for 13 generations and my father never forgave himself for it. Things are not always as they seem. Success demands toil, dedication, and perseverance. I don't totally know this young man's situation but can give him a bit of advice. Talk to your father, ask him if he is singling you out. He may be depending on you for the success of the family... remember that in difficult times it is unwise to place one's faith in the unreliable. Remember that you are his son and it is a fool that hates his own flesh. He may have ulterior motives, just as my father did. I wish that I could sit down, just one more time and talk to my old man. The grave silences all, what is unsaid will remain unheard, forever. I now have two boys and try to treat them equally. I do this for both their sakes. My oldest is a bit on the lazy side but I force him to help. He hates it, complaining constantly. It is my duty to train him as the world will not be kind. My father did not do my brother a great service. I will not repeat the mistake. Both my sons have individual and unique talents that must be developed and the fire of hard work is the only way to temper these abilities. Hang in there kid. You have only just begun. God, only, knows what is in store for you and a good work ethic with prepare you to face it. Be honest in your efforts and you will be rewarded. steveastexas wrote on Sunday, May 14, 2006 (PDT): Son GOD bless you, my dad was always busy trying to be rich or famous,left us to do the raising of ourselves,didnt see us play littleleague or graduate or any of lifes real treasures, when i married i told my wife when we have children i would not work 7,12s all the time or two jobs and i promised GOD i would raise my children different, I have been blessed,my children go to church,have never been to jail,1 in college now 1 in 10th grage , 1 in florida with my grandson, remember GOD in all you do, he tells us of Joseph and his hard ships, and through your hardships your true character has emerged and it is a good one, and if you need to talk or some help, click on any of us we will be here for you. we love you , GOD loves you. a moms view wrote on Saturday, December 29, 2007 (PST): You know, I have read all of these and don't see a moms view. But this is my story. I grew up with a younger brother and sister. My dad put my brother and me both in the garage working on cars and mowing the lawns, baleing hay feeding the dogs and all that good stuff. At the time it wasn't to bad, I loved my dad then and even more today. What I learnt from my dad, was not to be afraid of hard work and long work days and not to be afraid to get a little dirt on ya. Shoot, it washes off!! hehehe My dad taught me to work on cars, use a tractor, go mudding in the truck, how to drive race cars and the list goes on and on and I'm a girl.. Not to many daddies teach their little girls these things.. Today, I don't rely on any man to change my tires, fix my truck, NOTHING! And I thank my dad for these things. Because of him I am very independent! My little sister on the other hand knows none of this stuff, cause she was the little home maker with my mom. I have 2 girls and 2 boys of my own now. My husband and I raised our kids to do daily chores inside and outside the house no matter what the weather. YES, they moaned and groaned and whinned. Today, they thank us for making them do the things we did. I look for them to raise their kids the same. Today, I love my mom and dad dearly, they are still here. I cherish every moment I get to spend with them. Little guy, the best advise I can give you is to do the very best you can do. You are learning. Think of the things you can do now. Can your brother do any of it? My youngest son started noticing he was building muscle. Today, he's into weight lifting and he moves everything heavy for me. Think about some of the things your dad is having you to do. What are you gaining from it? james remmers wrote on Sunday, June 14, 2009 (PDT): I too had a sibling that didnt have the same work load but now I am 39 and she is 38. I have a family I love and anice home and good job and pay my own way. She still calls the old man for money and whines about not having any. So now I take comfort in knowing my work ethic has served me well.I hope this helps. A taylor wrote on Thursday, July 28, 2011 (PDT): There is many things that you will take away from this. 1, you will learn a work ethic. 2, you will know how to handle any situation, while your brother will be totally lost. AT Don Rudolph wrote on Wednesday, January 18, 2023 (PST): Dear Young Man, It is quite possible your Dad sees you as the responsible child and loads the chores on you as a result. I find myself reflecting on my relationship with my own Dad. No matter how hard I tried, I could never be good enough for him. I found out after he died that his Dad ridiculed and bullied him as a child. This didn't excuse, but helped explain his behavior toward me. I vowed if I ever had a son I would treat him better. God blessed me with a fantastic son and farming partner. So, my point is this, my challenges with my Dad were a life lesson for me in how NOT to raise a son. And it was an invaluable lesson. All the Best to you, Young Man.

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