Jiles

Well-known Member
An old woman purchased a parrot with a bad cursing vocabulary. She was warned by the pet shop owner but decided she could stop the bad habit.
The first word out of the parrot's beak came when she arrived home. She scolded the bad bird and put it in the refrigerator for an hour. The bird was taken out and eventually warmed up enough to apologize. All went well for a few days and then it happened again. She put the bird in the freezer this time and after one hour she set it out to thaw.
After several attempts to talk, the old lady finally figured out what the words were-------
What did that turkey say?
 
OK, I'll bite: There was this parrot, named Chet, with a bad cussing habit, that a guy gets as a Christmas present, one year. Guy takes Chet back to the pet store, owner says he'll retrain, free of charge. Guy retrieves Chet a couple days later, and the owner of the store shows him how to make the bird sing. You hold a bic lighter, under his left foot, and heat the foot a little, and the bird sings "White Christmas". Hold it under the other foot, he sings "I'll Be home for Christmas". Guy is happy, says, Chet will be the hit of the New Year's party, takes him back home. During the party he demonstrates the bird's talents numerous times as the night and the booze flows, till finally, somebody asks, "OK, what happens when you hold the lighter under both feet?" You guessed it, Bird started to sing," Chet's nuts Roasting over an open fire"...
 

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