I helped establish a small support group that helps folks get on with their lives when all the world is on their shoulders. We try to give everyone some hope with out the very expensive opinion of a attorney. We strictly deal with Iowa, and certianly do not have all the answers, just a helpful insight of what has went down in our worlds when divorcing.
A good attorney is not worth a nickle unless YOU furnish him with details --not just a complaint--every freaking thing that you can think of in as much detail as possible must be written down, and typed in a very readable format.
Save yourself alot of money by placing this list on a spread sheet -- then your attorney can sort it down with what he wants to use. He needs facts sorted from opinions. You can also sort them after he reads them in the order he wants to use them----again this saves you money.
Be sure you write down every question you want to ask, as this avoids expensive clock time, while you sit and try to remember your questions.
Now you have lots of time on your hands, so why not spend alot of time visiting with others in your state that have wore your shoes? There is great comfort knowing some facts from the others. Peace of mind is out of the question for a while, but this extra information can be a comfort, and alow you to get a little more sleep.
I have always said that both parties should come up with a list for a fair settlement --your pile, my pile--then have the judge flip a coin to see who gets each pile. Seems it could be much more fair that way.
You well know that many judges still favor the ladies-- you can't change that, so get over it, and move on to damage control.
It is very difficult to deal with a person who you would have given your last drop of blood for, and now is spiting in your face--that is a tough one. And men need to know that the galls will tug on your heart strings to get the better deal. Don't blame them, just try to understand it.
Having a attorney that you feel is the best, and knowing the law, and facts, probably is the best comfort you can have at this point.
Judges are human, and I feel if they think you are trying to be fair, and reasonable, along with a friendly smile, WELL, this goes along way with combating a nice attractive lady as your court date comes around. Try to remain cool, and never loose your temper. Make your first round as good as you can---after the judge makes his order, it is expensive, and hard to reverse his decision in most cases.
When picking a attorney, remember the judge has a opinion of him also from past cases--if he is a jerk, and unreasonable who do you think he will favor? He needs to be on his toes, and polite so the judge does not try to defend your wife from your bad butt attorney.
And last but not least, when you know a fact that will help you win, shut yer mouth (VERY HARD TO DO AT TIMES) regardless how much fun it would be to tell her your plan of attact---keep it a surprise so she can not prepare for the questions.
If you feel there is any chance of problems, avoid contact with her, and if so, make sure there are nuteral witnesses. Yea, you know of some folks that got the shaft from getting to close to the bees nest before.
I suppose speaking a lie has worked in a court room, but once the judge knows you lied, then every word you have said, or will say, is a big question mark in the judges eyes.
Results may vary, and I wish you luck, and a chance for you to get some rest.
