Prayer needed for grandson

Please pray for apple of my eye, tractor loving 11 year old. Real little kid, gets teased a lot in school, falsely accused of being "gay". Suspended for making threats to other kids which he probably didn't do. He don't have enough strength to fight his way out of paper bag and is 2 feet shorter than most of them. Cries a lot, no support from school. God Bless.

barn E

I can relate to the little fellow. I was treated like that when I was in school. I was never accused of being gay, but was always made fun of and picked on because I was small. I will be praying for him, and the school officials to open their eyes to what is really going on.
God Bless

Gary

yeah, reminded me on what it's like being in school.. in FFA was not easy.. but guess what I got my name picked for getting an FFA HOG (sow that's going have pigs and give Sow back the next year for next kid) alot kids were't pleased with that!!!! and teacher put foot down on that any one picks on me will go to OFFICE!

barn E, my prayers for your grandson. Grandkids are so special & it hurts when you can't make things right for them. Kids can be so cruel to others. My 11 yr grandson is a tractor loving puller.

I sure will Brother . The stress kids have in school these days is awful . Even if he could fight off some of the bigger kids , today it isn"t permitted . The kid could get kicked out of school & even worse arrested for fighting . In the 60s a guy could knock the crap out of those bosoes & not much was done .Even as an adult today we can"t protect ouselves . I"m talking from experience . About 4 yrs ago I took ahold of a guy & another bird who is a trouble maker called the cops . Since I"ve never been in anykind of trouble ,& I know most of the local cops & the magistrate , I only got one charge put on me . Even then it cost me 175.00 . The magistrate said he could"ve fined me 300.00 plus 30 days in jail . So try to encourage him to avoid anykind of physical contact with those bullies . About 3 yrs ago my Grandson knocked a bullie out on his school bus & got in big trouble . He almost got expelled .It was kinda funny because he told his mother that Grampa said not to talk any crap from anyone . Guess who got his butt reamed out . Thats rite - me . God bless, Ken

Do whatever you can to get him into a private, church based school.

And I am not a home school nut. My wife retired recently ater 30 years of Public school teaching, including 7 years working with Behaviour disorders and Learning disabilities. The system about drove her crazy.

To the teachers defense, they hear every lie, piece of crap, story in the book. They are just overwhealmed with crap and can't concentrate on the real issues.

Get him out of there.

Gene

My prayers go out. Heck Im only 20 and i was treated like that in grade school but or different reasons called fat a**, went home everyday with nobody to talk to. I was a real loner until high school when I met some good guys but grade school sucked and that was in a private catholic school. Teachers didnt do much just kind of sat by. When I looked back now I wish I would have knocked a couple of those kids out cause I could have done it easy just never crossed my mind too scared of gettin in trouble I guess

My two daughters went to a christian school. Do what you can do to help take them out of that school. Stan

Get him something to do that he can excel in and the bullies can't do. I got a lot of picking on up until 7th grade when I wasn't about to take it anymore. After beating the crap out of one of the bullies that all came to an end..I enjoyed the week off and all the talks. Mom kept telling me to quit smiling while I was getting chewed out. Also was smarter than they and the grades won me my own set of friends. Get him his own tractor to work on to boost his self esteem. Mabe a cub or a MH pony. Henry

I think I would be talking to the principal and the guidance counselor, If that didn't get some type of satisfaction I'd either threaten or actually take them into the state level of a griveance. Then the pocket packing Board members would have to take action.

All schools have a no exceptions gun rule including anything like a key chain replica that wouldn't hurt a fly, at the same time they don't care that mental abuse could actually kill someone if a kid lost control of himself.

Old Roy&Henery both are giving good advice.Martial arts training will go a long way in giving him the courage to stand up for himself without crying,showing fear or making empty threats.Thats all it takes to send bullys off to find someone else to torment.

Hang in there with him, Barn...

My son is also not that popular in school (6th grade) and so skinny you almost can't see him when he's standing edgeways...

But everyone has their strengths and it's just a matter of helping them find theirs...

I don't care if he's not an athlete - since very few people ever make a living that way... So I just make sure he keeps his grades up and knows his studies and complement him & reward him all I can when he does well with them... These days, a good education will do as much as anything to insure a persons success in the future...

It's too bad there isn't an easy way to get these kids that don't quite fit in with the "popular" crowd together to pal around with each other...

One of my best friends in college didn't exactly fit in, until he fell in with a gang of very competitive fellow electrical engineering students. A few years later, he has several patents with TI and now is a patent attorney specializing in electronic circuit patents and makes more money than any normal person could ever spend....

Howard

Sounds like Grandpa needs to go shake the sh!t out of some school staff then do the same to Mom and Dad for not looking out for their Boy.

Good Luck,


Dave

The school won't do anything? Go above them to the superintendent of schools. I think all schools have a zero tolerance policy now. I had friend who got hung up on the showers in Jr. High and then the showers were turned on. He went to the principle. Offenders parents both had to come to the school and I think his came also. Basically if the offenders even looked at him the wrong way, told others about it or made fun of him, they would be expelled! He never had a problem again. Dave

Been there. Kids can be unbelievably cruel. He needs to now you don't look down on him and that he can talk to you. My Grandad loved me and there were lots of things I might have done growing up but the thought of my grandfather finding out and thinking less of me kept me from them. Prayers sent.
Ron

Yep, some one needs to talk to the super. Give him/her 3 days to do something, if not go find the biggest media loveing lawyer you can find and give them a sob story about the bully'n.

Dave

Prayers from Downunder.
Keep loving him, and please show him support.
We homeschool our kids because of the "system"
God Bless,
Rex

Get him into a private school where the emphasis is on education not teacher benefits. In the process he will get a much better education during his formative years.

Do as 135 Fan suggested and call the school superintendent. He will get some action. When I was senior in high school my brother and I were suspended when 4 of us were driving back on the school ground. The school principal was standing outside and stopped us and told me and my brother to go to his office. He then told us both of you are suspended. We didn't even hook any classes.
When we got home I told my mom what had happened and she gave us a good talking to. I told her none of us had hooked any classes. She then wanted to know what the other 2 classmates were given. I told her they weren't even called to the office.

She wanted to know who was over the school principal and I told her the school superintendent
and she said for me to get his phone number. She had a lengthy conversation with him and wanted everyones name that was in the car. He called back a few minutes later and said there's no suspension for your sons. We did have a new car and I don't know if that set him off or not. Anyway we graduated later that Spring. Hal

Prayers Sent ..ALTHOUGH IT Is . Gonna get worse as the nnalert population increases...... Click here: YouTube - nnalert Demographics

Tell the little guy to hang in there. I was once a bullied kid, then I grew up! One by one I got even, so to speak, and it took years in some cases, but it still felt good. Your Grandson will get his chance as well...the old saying is, "that"s the way it goes"...well, every once in a while it goes the other way too!!!

he's got my support. I know too well what's it's like to be picked on day after day. I hated school but I stuck it out.

I hope that he can get some help with this soon. As one who has been through a similar situation, I know how he feels.

I spent all my my school days getting the snot have pounded out of me at least once a week. The school never did anything about it, and every time I fought back I got in trouble. I made sure that my boys wouldn't have to go through that, they both started with martial arts in second grade, the older one has a black belt. Neither of them has ever had problems, just the fact that the other kids know this seems to have protected them. I wouldn't recommend this as a quick cure, but it does have long term benefits.

The best thing if, it were possible, is to get the boy right out of that situation, home schooled, private school, or force the school district to send him to another school .

Because I don't know anything about your school and community, the following suggestions are pretty general. Going over the head of the teachers/principal, to the superintendent or the school board might help,but top down enforcement of anti-bullying rules may just drive the problem out of sight, although it sounds as if the school can't see it anyway. If you know or can find out who the worst offenders are, you might try talking to their parents, but they may be one source of the attitudes that cause the problems in the first place. Athletic coaches, if they see things your way, can apply the strongest pressure to the offenders, if they are involved in sports, and I bet at least some of them are.

Prayers sent. Keep supporting him. Let the school administration know your concerns. Is there any way to send him to a different school and letting him get a fresh start.

Consider some martial arts instruction...

That always hits home, anything like this and kids. I never understood why at a young age kids, adolescent/teenagers can be so darned mean. Do their parents know, is it the upbringing or what, then what do you do about it etc. When someone is different or does not fit into the popular clique, others think it fair game to pick on and be mean, they need to realize, they're no better and no different. Often times you want to confront the little pains in the @sses, but then it looks like you're fighting the battles for him, though sometimes a one time confrontation with em will shut em down, that and with the parental units. Definitely need to do something and spend some time with him, see what kinds of things he enjoys doing now, get him involved and get that confidence of his back up and strong, to heck with the bullies, there's a lot more to life.

I do agree with martial arts, self defense and similar, not for the fighting aspect but for all the other things that it teaches you. I think everyone needs to know that fighting and violence is not the solution, but there are times when you have no choice, some just want to instigate problems like what bullies do, and preparing your son to defend himself, via some training like mentioned will provide a valuable education, discipline, knowledge of the human body, its strong points and weakness's, how to use situations to your advantage and how to respect your body and keep fit both physically and mentally. I sincerely hope you can help him with this, and get past it, life is too darned short.

Smoke signals sent!

PS - I know the situation too, hard to believe how many of us had to deal with bullies. Eventually I had to start fighting em off, and it got me into trouble, but I made it my business to learn how to defeat em, because it was not stopping anytime soon. You can just remember when you knew you were in a bad situation, sometimes you would get lucky and an adult would stop it, or a public place to take refuge, there is nothing more lonely than knowing you're in a bad way with no way out, on the school bus, places where there is no place to escape, not close enough to home, been there many times. Finally grew a little, got stronger and learned how to defend myself, never went the depressed/self pity route, as this used to make me so darned angry I wanted the revenge or a piece of anyone that was mean to me, even later in life, now they're all grown up, and you realize what a push over they really were, heck the first one I ever got sucker punched by on the bus for no good reason, (and boy did that nose bleed) the bully had five years on me, and then my darned father hired him of all people as a hand on the farm resulting in an all afternoon brawl which I did well for the age difference, kept getting up and going after him, tired him out and got as many licks in as I could, hah...... he turned out to be GAY, go figure !!!!! LOL ..... LOL !!!! still laugh at that, they're all a bunch of insecure phonies,so take care of that boy and see him through this no matter what !!!!

Got my prayers. Jeff

Prayers sent. Let your grandson know he"s got dozens of adults caring for him, pulling for him and praying for him.

I agree with the answers below, especially those about finding out where his talents lie and helping him to excel in those areas.

If he"s interested, let him help grandpa work on a tractor or get him a tractor of his own to restore.

Also very much agree with taking it to the principal and not taking any hemming or hawing around. If the principal doesn"t take care of it, go up the ladder. Don"t hesitate to have a lawyer write the school superintendent a letter.

Whatever it takes to stop the bullying, do it.

know exactly how he feels,been there my ownself.was picked on until the 10th grade,fine upbringing that didnt believe in fighting,stood it until the first day of the tenth grade,and made up my mind on the bus I was either going to get out of a miserable situation,and stop it once and for all,or get kicked out of school and get out of it that way.got off the bus,walked up to the biggest guy in the school who allways picked on me.and when he opened his mouth I hit him as hard as i could in it.one punch,never ever had a problem after that and really enjoyed my last years of school.now i dont hold too much with fighting in school and I know the rules have changed,but i figure I grew up more in that ten seconds,gained more self respect, and lowered my stress level more then than anything else that i ever did.your boy may take a beating,I was surely shocked when it didnt happen to me.but just the idea that i had the courage to do something stopped all my problems.principal hauled me down to his office,asked what was going on and i just told him what was going on.he asked what i'd have done if the other kid had fought back and i told him if he would have tried to get up i'd have hit him again,that I'd had all i was going to take.he told me to go to class and he would be getting in touch with me,I never heard another word about it...nowdays they will probably suspend him,quite honestly what i would do is teach him to defend himself,make sure he knows that bullying and fighting is wrong in school BUT tell him he does not have to be miserable every day,and send him to class.kids have a way of working these things out.if he gets thrown out,for defending himself so be it,let him help you on the farm for a year, that will help him also.send him back the next and most likely his problems will be over.He does have my prayers,I know how cruel kids can be and they are way worse than when I grew up.but that boy needs to know he has the right to a life as he wants it,but he has to go get it,he cant just expect someone else to make it happen.

Will be praying for him. Tough spot. Might try to find out if he has a connection with any of the teachers. As a teacher myself I have experience times where a kid gets in trouble from one teacher and administration where another teacher knows the whole story. Finding the teacher who knows the whole story and or has a bit more personal connection with your gransdon should help a lot. Commuicate with the teacher as well as the administration.

That is a very good story and even better advice.

Here's what I noticed in High School about bullies in general:

They had no natural talent; couldn't sing, dance, play a musical instrument, and/or had no athletic ability.

They had at least one or two other "bigger" body guards at their side; basically what we called a "catfish" - all mouth - no guts.

They could not "buy" a date for the Homecoming dance or the Prom dance; drunk and loud was disgusting to majority of the girls.

They were failing at least half of their courses; most of which were lower levels of reading, writing, and arithmetic.

They did a lot of what is now politely called "community service" instead of sitting in jail; not juvenile detention.

Here's a couple of suggestions to avoid bullies:

<a href="http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa5/jameslloydhowell/?action=view¤t=FredSanford.jpg" target="_blank"> </a> Fred Sanford (redd foxx) once said [b:654c4848f0]<big>"Runnin' is the oldest form of self-defense."</big>[/b:654c4848f0]

Run like he11 and hope they don't catch you.

Martial arts has all the positive qualities that you mentioned above.

Martial Arts also comes in real handy if you get caught or cornered.

Smile alot and try to negotiate a peaceful settlement; if unsuccessful ask the bully to chose which body guard's a$$ gets whipped first.

Tell him you are saving him for last.

Then do it.

Another method that worked for me was to ignore the bully.

Makes them mad when they can't control your behaivor.

Once again smile alot and try to negotiate a peaceful settlement; if unsuccessful have someone call an ambulance.

Offer the bully and body guards a choice of leaving on their own or on a stretcher.

Be ready to do it.

In extreme cases; smile alot and ignore the drunk and loud bully until he's sober and can feel pain.

Establish an alibi with a couple of reputable students and go alone to see him.

Kidnap him from his college dorm room, drive him out into the country, tell him what he did to you, tell him what you're going to do to him, then do it.

This poor guy started crying and sh!t his pants before I ever laid a hand on him.

Took him to the hospital infirmary and I even went by to see him every day while he was there.

Not proud of that action; but it ended a lot of grief for me and a few of my close friends.

Fast forward 20 years to a fraternity reunion at the college; walked up to him to say hello and he dropped his drink on the floor and backed away.

I got him another drink, told him it was good to see him again, and walked away.

Sure was lucky to make it through all those early years without too much physical damage.

At my age, now all I can do is smile alot!

Thanks to everyone. Such great people and great ideas. Couple things I never thought about for sure. Gave us a lot of hope.

(quoted from post at 11:52:08 04/30/09) Thanks to everyone. Such great people and great ideas. Couple things I never thought about for sure. Gave us a lot of hope.

Click to expand...

Hit 'em in the stomach or on top of the head............ Stomach don't bruise as bad or they'll have to shave their head to prove anything.


Dave

I agree. A letter from an attorney would probably do wonders to motivate the principal to be proactive. When I was in high school, a bully on the wrestling team was picking on, pushing around a rather shy and quiet kid; that is until the biggest linebacker on the football team knocked the living stuffing out of him. That was the last of his bullying days. Someone brought up that incident not too long ago, and it has been over 30 years.
Anyway, My prayers are sent also, and tell him he has friends all over the country who care about him.

As a 5th grade teacher who works with 11 year old students every day, I will surely keep your grandson in my prayers. I know you have received great advice already, but I highly suggest going to the teacher(s) and having a conversation with them informing them of exactly what is happening. I know you said no support from the school, but make it a heart to heart conversation. Teachers aren't perfect, but I'd sure hope your grandson's teachers care enough about children to end this type of harassment. If nothing changes for him, go to the administration, specifically the school board. Trust me, no teacher would ever want to go before the school board and answer why a student is being mistreated in their classroom after a parent has made them aware of the situation. If it's like our district, the outcome wouldn't be a happy time for that teacher.
Bottom line...... Your grandson doesn't have to put up with this harassment. That's what it is too. Especially when you factor in calling him "gay". It's se"ual harassment, and it's not taken lightly by our legal system. In my state, the students who are doing this can face legal charges if they are 11 years old or older. I know for a fact these students would be leaving in a police car if they continued with the harassment. I've seen it happen first hand several times.

I live in the Atlanta area and there was a young boy the same age and circumstance as your grandson. It got to be too much and he hung himself and was unfortunatly successful. The school was on notice that the boy was being bullied but they did nothing. Well the community has rallied and the entire school board and administration is under fire as they should be.
Keep a close watch on this young man as he may be depressed and contemplating drastic ways to make this stop. He may not see it as the bullies fault but his own that he is being bullied.