Valentines Day Mistake

Just to warn everybody NOT to make the same mistake I did last year on Valentines Day. I had just got done doing evening chores and when I walked in the door, my wife met me wearing one of those nnalert see through things they get at Victoria's Secret. Anyway she says, "You can tie me up and do anything you want to!" So I did. I tied her up and went to town and played cards. I found out later that is not what she meant!!!

Wish my wife would do that! About the only loving I get anymore is my Basset hound licking my face!

Aw man I would have to say that is one of the biggest MISTAKES a man could ever make!!!At least you could've let the neighbor or one of the guys on this forum know so they could help her and keep her warm and caress her and.........

I thank Gawd my wife didn't do that! She's pushing 300#. I DO NOT want to see through her clothes! And I sure she feels the same way about me. Ahhhh, love.

got any pictures????????

If you and your wife are over 35 then I would say you are too old for that.

For V-day I am taking my wife out to eat.......with my 7 year old son. And later tonite I will get to check the oil with her.

(nothing from V-secret or anything just the regular man on top get it over with quick)

Hmm.

How long do you usualy play cards? I'm ahhhaaammm asking for a friend, yea thats it, I'm asking for a friend, yea.

This year get a whip and carry it in the house after getting the chores done.

You can also tell her she is the only woman in the whole town that complains about it!

You call that a problem? I used to scream out my ex-wifes name as we celebrated the evening.

Ask her if she borrowed that outfit from your mistress because it fits the mistress a little better.

Usefull hint...dial 911 at least fifteen munites before attempting most of the above, and have your attorney on speed dial.

As I said many times before, You never realy get to know a woman till you look her right in the eyes....in a divorce court.

After a long day in the court room and as we were leaving my attorney said she noticed my ex was extreemly mad. You all know me, can't keep my big mouth shut. I was always the little boy with a stick standing next to a bees nest as a child. So anyway I asked my attorney if asking my ex-wife for some intimate time was intirely out of the question (not the exact words I used). My attorney said to shut my mouth and get the heck out of the court room before the judge tossed me out.

Never give your wife the gift of a fitness club membership or a treadmill as a gift.
It comes as an unpleasant shock to them that they are fat and out of shape.

Sometimes its surprising just how little information can still be too much. . .

Geez plow hand I expected better!

Vito

C man. I think you have been spending way too much time in the barn.

Vito,...C- man might have beat me at my own game...I'm trying to keep civil on here it is a family forum....I trust everyone will get out there favorite teddy for their wife to wear it doesn't matter how they look gentlemen.....it's a lot better than being with a dude in my book...

I'm taking my wife and friend and his wife out to McGraff's for sea food dinner. I didn't get her any jewelry this year because of filling the fuel tanks I think at 83 she's happier about that.
Walt

So.........how do you answer when they ask, "Do these pants make my butt look fat"? "No, it's all those burgers and fries that do that".

I was taking a stroll through a local park. Late in the evening and the park was deserted .....

Along come a good looking gal riding a bike. I gave her a friendly wave .... and ... she rode up close, jumped off the bike, threw it down on the ground, ripped off all her clothes, laid down on the grass and yelled out .......

"TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!
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I took the bike .....

Yeah, well, I don't even have a Bassett hound!

I'd have to be careful with that comment. My wife is 5 ft tall, and weighs (depending on day of week and time of said day) possibly 117 pounds if the scale is showing heavy. I was at the doctors office and did the height/weight etc thing prior to my appointment. She decides to see how much she weighs. I told her to be careful that I didn't think the scale would register that high. Neither her or the doctors office thought that was very humorous.

Jim

the wife half of some of our friends told mrs 730
her husband had given her a new weed wacker for her birthday as the old one had died.
she was livid! she told him don't you ever give me something like that again!
i think he took time from baling hay to go buy her a nicer gift.
then i ordered something for mrs 730 that never came. i still hear about that.