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lawyer joke

A

Anonymous-0

Well-known Member
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
 
This guy's getting a divorce. His wife's atourney is in a accident, and killed. So the guy calles his wife's attourney's office, and wants to talk to her atourney. The receptionist said he was killed. Next day he calles and the receptionist said he was killed. He calles the third day the receptionist said I told you he was killed. The guy told her I just like to hear it. stan
 
Catfish and Lawyers
from Joke of the Day
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.
 
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

=================================================

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in!"

==================================================

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.
 
I used to post as Bud in NC. I Haven't been here in a while but I had to add one -

What's 16" long and hangs in front of an A$$hole?

A lawyers necktie.
 
There is 2 problems with lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they are funny, and no one else thinks they are jokes.
 
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