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2008's First Christmas Joke

A

Anonymous-0

Well-known Member
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's underware.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins..
 
(quoted from post at 04:49:34 11/20/08) I, uh, sent this to my girl friend and she asked,
"Who"s Carol ?"
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You're doomed Bud. 15 years from now, you'll have a fight, and she'll throw this at you...............
 
(quoted from post at 05:33:56 11/20/08) THE FIRST CHRISTMAS JOKE IS CHRISTMAS ITSELF !!!
Click to expand...

You didn't get that train set when you were a kid, did you???

I didn't either, but I don't try to ruin other people's mood.
 
dave2 -- you must be Catholic --- the Catholics are the ones who invented Christmas -- it's not for me -- but who ever wants to follow their triditions -- go for it !!!!
 
(quoted from post at 11:32:43 11/20/08) dave2 -- you must be Catholic --- the Catholics are the ones who invented Christmas
Click to expand...

Matter of fact, I'm not. Not a big fan of organized religion, your comment is a prime example of the reason why. As soon as folks get together and claim a faith and way of life, they start making fools of themselves (there are a few exceptions).
Some are role models, some are hypocrits, some are just clowns that believe they are experts and like to offer their expertise whether invited or not, and some are just fools that think attending church service is going to save their souls.

Thanks for your input though. I'll feel a lot better filling out Christmas Cards knowing that I have your blessings.


Dave
 
About like the Santa cartoon with old elf cussing out lead reindeer on top of small shed with half moon cutout on door: " I said go to the Schmidt house'.
Christmass date chosen by Emperor Constantine about 325 ce- was a close match to time of old Roman holiday of Saturnalia, one of Emperor's favorites. Older Christmass practice until about 1890 was religious services, minimal parties or gift giveing. Old German celebration practice of Yule/Jul brought to English public about that time since royal family had German roots, party and gift, secular practice spread to public and came to US where merchants made a little extra and decided to advertise.
Who gets the first paragraph and who learned something from second? RN
 
A livestock hauler in the local area had the same phrase on the side of his truck, together with a goofy looking cow with a big grin, looking out the cresent moon door of an outhouse- roll of toilet paper in her hoof, as I recall. As you may have guessed, they guy's name was Schmidt.
 
Santa_bad.jpg
 
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