olgentdc
Well-known Member
This morning I woke from a troubling dream ,. I could not Walk !,..got up and went downstairs and lay on the couch , very relaxing. But it Got me to thinking Again , about dismantling my Legacy .My Sara Came Down about 20 minutes later and made coffee , and now we are watching the weather and what mischief the citiots got into lastnite ,.
With Last yrs bout with cancer and the consequence of neuropathy in my legs and feet ..I think i need a counselor to help steer me thru ,. Been thinking a lot lately about how to "Unring my Bell"
But , I just cannot shake that horrible dream , Not so much the thought I could not Walk , But How to Shut everything Down Gracefully. ,I know that I WILL have to make changes as I Age ,,.I am 60,My wife of 12 yrs. Sara is 56 with 3 operations for back troubles , she could care less if we lived in a apartment or on 200 acres and another 200 rented which i do with help from my neighbor and friends, very little from my children and brothers , my nephews have grown up with real jobs and real girlfriends and have limited time.. and besides my measely 25 bux for helping in hay was just gas money , the real THRILL to them was running equipment and working together and
dinner..
I find myself , not enjoying the alone time making repairs , and i just am not as eager to put something back in the field as i used to be , the spark just aint there.
and the frustrations are far too many .. i dont like feeling OVWERWhelmed , when my body is doing all i can make it do ..
Has Anyone found a easy way to come to terms with all these dicisions ?.I Have talked with my children , to try to see if my sons and daughters can take hold..Frankly They Dont . I think They would welcome money if i sold out and quit, my oldest daughter seems disappointed that my cancer has not taken me out ..at least that is the vibe i get ...but i am in a No Good Funk Rite now and am THINKING TOO HARD ..
.. if i paid all the bills and home farm mortgage off , i would have the home and 2 farms free and clear. andstill have a comfortable nestegg in savings .. and i would have all my LOL junkie equipment ..yes ,a few pcs and tractors are nice. but its condition probably mirrors a lot of your stuff
if i dont draw SS until age 66, i get 1475 per month.. at age 62 it would be south of 1200.. AWWH Heck !
Maybe I ought to just get another cup of coffee and walk around outside and get moving again ,i have to roll hay before t-storms come thru this afternoon .. need to get a tire for the baler ,fuel the 4020 ,grab a few teeth for the baler pikup so it does a better job, now where can i find more used oil for the baler chains..?..//?.....
With Last yrs bout with cancer and the consequence of neuropathy in my legs and feet ..I think i need a counselor to help steer me thru ,. Been thinking a lot lately about how to "Unring my Bell"
But , I just cannot shake that horrible dream , Not so much the thought I could not Walk , But How to Shut everything Down Gracefully. ,I know that I WILL have to make changes as I Age ,,.I am 60,My wife of 12 yrs. Sara is 56 with 3 operations for back troubles , she could care less if we lived in a apartment or on 200 acres and another 200 rented which i do with help from my neighbor and friends, very little from my children and brothers , my nephews have grown up with real jobs and real girlfriends and have limited time.. and besides my measely 25 bux for helping in hay was just gas money , the real THRILL to them was running equipment and working together and
dinner..
I find myself , not enjoying the alone time making repairs , and i just am not as eager to put something back in the field as i used to be , the spark just aint there.
and the frustrations are far too many .. i dont like feeling OVWERWhelmed , when my body is doing all i can make it do ..
Has Anyone found a easy way to come to terms with all these dicisions ?.I Have talked with my children , to try to see if my sons and daughters can take hold..Frankly They Dont . I think They would welcome money if i sold out and quit, my oldest daughter seems disappointed that my cancer has not taken me out ..at least that is the vibe i get ...but i am in a No Good Funk Rite now and am THINKING TOO HARD ..
.. if i paid all the bills and home farm mortgage off , i would have the home and 2 farms free and clear. andstill have a comfortable nestegg in savings .. and i would have all my LOL junkie equipment ..yes ,a few pcs and tractors are nice. but its condition probably mirrors a lot of your stuff
if i dont draw SS until age 66, i get 1475 per month.. at age 62 it would be south of 1200.. AWWH Heck !
Maybe I ought to just get another cup of coffee and walk around outside and get moving again ,i have to roll hay before t-storms come thru this afternoon .. need to get a tire for the baler ,fuel the 4020 ,grab a few teeth for the baler pikup so it does a better job, now where can i find more used oil for the baler chains..?..//?.....