Teaching wife to roll hay

I'm still am unable to drive tractors since I had prostatectomy last of January. So wife has mowed and raked before but never ran the roller. I am not a teacher. Nor very patient when showing someone how it "should " be done. Last week we tried it. She running tractor while I was on the fender giving instructions. She had read the owners manual prior to going to field. She did one bale and it was ok. By the next one my voice decibel was climbing. I was hoping to get my point across to watch the intake of hay on roller more than out front of tractor. And occasionally look at bale size indicator. Now I was yelling. She stopped,shut off pto and got off and said I'm done. So I finished rolling the rest of about 10 acres. About half way through I was hurting. It was quiet at our place for a few days.

Sounds like you need to give her a good apology, she really put in the effort.

Im going to ask this and forgive me if its to personal. Did you have your prostate removed? and if so for what reason. I ask this because i had a touch of cancer in mine and did the seeds in march.

Difficult to second guess the process from here. Do apologize, the truth is we operate machinery with 4 or 5 senses and multiple attention zones for 2 of them, hearing and sight. That split awareness is not able to be "told how", it is built on with experience and consequences for not doing it. If she will make an attempt to drive again. work at it incrementally. 90% incra, and 10% mentally. Best of luck. Jim

(quoted from post at 18:27:34 05/29/17) I'm still am unable to drive tractors since I had prostatectomy last of January. So wife has mowed and raked before but never ran the roller. I am not a teacher. Nor very patient when showing someone how it "should " be done. Last week we tried it. She running tractor while I was on the fender giving instructions. She had read the owners manual prior to going to field. She did one bale and it was ok. By the next one my voice decibel was climbing. I was hoping to get my point across to watch the intake of hay on roller more than out front of tractor. And occasionally look at bale size indicator. Now I was yelling. She stopped,shut off pto and got off and said I'm done. So I finished rolling the rest of about 10 acres. About half way through I was hurting. It was quiet at our place for a few days.

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I would not blame if she did not want to bale again.

Know I shouldn't but I really got a laugh out of thie one. Good thing she didn't wrap you around the PTO.

Yes I had a complete prostate removal with the da Vinci system robotic

I talked to an acquaintance who had seats done on Friday and Monday it was back to work so she does have some problems with consonants He had it done about 13 years ago

She wouldn't let me apologize. But after a week of keeping quiet she is determined to do it again. Our son was supposed to be the one to help her but he was busy with his family. So next time he'll be there and I'll go have coffee somewhere.

The reason was I had prostate cancer. My 6 month test for PSA was non existent for cancer.

Since things are more cordial I did admit to making a mistake. I should have walked away after the first bale. 😜

Where are you at???? Maybe some of us YTers are close enough to help out some.

You just need to remember that no one is going to do it exactly like you do it. You have to allow them to make mistakes while learning how to do it. You did and I did too. We did not start out as experts either. LOL You need to look at it this way. Hay baled but maybe not perfect but baled or left out in the field.

Also is there any one doing custom baling around you??? We do it here and there are three or four other guys that do some too. Hiring it done is not that expensive when you look at the true cost of you baling it.

Nothin like a woman who will get out and help you. My ex wouldnt even bring me a glass of iced tea, one of those that are all about themselves. I heard there's a way to do each and every little thing.

I know what you mean, it's easy to take family members for granted.

My wife was helping me do some remodel work to our storage shed this evening. She can't do much, but was trying to be my go-fer, and doing a pretty good job.

But I had to check myself several times, being short and demanding, expecting her to read my mind basically...

I thought, "Would I talk to anyone else like I just did my wife?" How rude of me, of course not!

I had to apologize, slow down, get my act together. Once we got on the same page, she actually was a big help!

I think a lot of my behavior is a hold over from my experiences with my dad. He didn't care what he said, very demeaning, degrading, filthy mouth. I always swore I would never treat anyone that way, but sometimes it happens.

Like Paul said, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

The mind can be a scary place to go!

Sounds like you have a great lady there!! If she's anything like my wife, her entire life revolves around doing for me and keeping me happy. She does WAY more than I have ever asked of her!! However, as with many women, she isn't as mechanically minded, nor as much a perfectionist as I am. Usually I can easily avoid getting upset, but there are certain things that I have taught her many, many times - like how to read a tape measure, for example. I finally gave in and learned "her" way instead. Made life much easier!

After having hernia surgery a few years ago, she wouldn't let me do anything! I think she was in her element being able to do so much. But then, isn't that what we all want from a relationship? To please our partner?

She (your wife) may not accept an apology at this point, but you should definitely try to be creative and do something really special for her, and with just an ever-so-slight mention of that day, such as a note saying that you're proud of how she's learning to work the tractor so well. It will be more than enough apology for her.

I don't even know if there are any florist shops in our little areas around us, but I know roses don't grow up here, and she'd kill me if I ever wasted the money on one (or more!). But she treasures when I take time to pick a few of the many Dandelions and take her a bouquet. Maybe mix in a little of the Lilacs or other flowers if available. When no flowers, even a handful or two of nice Spruce cones brings a huge smile to her face, or maybe some cuttings from the Pu$$y Willows ([i:ee22cc9c3e]took me a while to find the offensive word![/i:ee22cc9c3e]). Yes, she has plenty already as she never seems to have enough time to do the crafts she saves them for. I used to try to help out in the kitchen (as I used to be not-so-bad in my own kitchen!), but she has pretty much relegated me to maybe getting the dishes ready, or reaching something for her. Overall, I really should take more of my time and spend it on her. T'would be a wise investment, indeed! :wink:

Speaking as one who has been there, done that, I'm wondering if your forum handle might need a little re-working?

Working for a guy once and his wife was raking hay i can't remember exactly what she did but he made the mistake of teasing her. She turned looked him in the eye and said fine cook your own dinner. I learned two thinks that day everyone has a job skill and some can be better at one but not the other . the second thing the bar had an excellent finner.
Maybe you know how to bale hay but how good are you at baking ? Imagine what it would like having your wife teach you how to make a pie.

I did enough damage to the belts when I taught myself to run one back in 79. I don't need to go through that again from somebody else tearing it up. The oldest boy's the only other one to ever run it.

you said she made one, then whats issue. anybody yelling at some else first time needs be kicked out. hire it done then. you will be lucky you not back in hospital. seen it happen i hope you had make your own supper

LOL if its mine your speaking of, well thats also part of my regular email. So when you go to a site and have to come up with a handle everything i put in is taken so i just use that.

The reason i asked is this has really taken the wind out of my sail. Its been a ruff experience being i have never had anything wrong with me and i am 57. Its getting better now but holly smokes. I do wish you a speedy recover. i just don't know anyone that's been there done that question about it. Doctors can tell you a lot and mine have been awesome believe me im not knocking them at all but somebody that has first had experience is the man i want to talk to. and im sure you understand

One nice thing about life it's a learning experience everyday.
Going through what you've been through & dealing with it is stressful
I believe she knows & she's a understanding Woman, your a lucky man.

Since I've become disabled I have to depend on other people to operate my hay equipment or sell my hay equipment. This has been transpiring for the last few yrs and has been very difficult for me to accept. It is very difficult for me to watch people operate equipment incorrectly BUT I HAVE LEARNED to bite my tongue and attempt to discretely explain the necessity of correct equipment operation.

Cu-do's to your wife for agreeing to attempt rd baling for 2nd time.

My pies a much better than hers. So I got that job.

Yes I understand. I have a cousin that had his prostate removed 3 months before me. He had open surgery. I've talked with him some and it helps but we each have different things that we've dealt with. I'm 60 years old. Never been sick or even broke a bone.

Actually it's closer than you'd think. My sister in law gave me that handle when puter came out. But it's short for kickin bull pies who sometimes slips.

You are right

Pretty sure there is a group of guys who meet to share experiences, check with your doctor, around here it is called Man to Man.