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Way O/T How to Handle a Co-Worker

J

John B.

Well-known Member
How would you folks handle this situation. Where I work there are apprx 40 of us employees throughout the plant. There is one young man not that young actually, mid to late 30's. Has the mantality of a 12 yr old. Lives with a gal in an apartment and they have a daughter in the 3rd grade who lives with them.
He is borrowing money from plant employees every day. It's not $1 or $2, it's none less than $10. He may ask one employee for $20 just so he can pay off two other workers at $10 each. He has asked me a few times but I've never lent him any money. We got paid last Thursday and today he was borrowing money already. Last Tuesday at lunch time he came in to the break room paid off one co-worker then looked at me and said, "Do I owe you any money?" I told him "No, but if you wanna give me $20 I'll hold it until you need it again". He then said "I don't have any more money".
There are younger women than him at our plant which have children too and they don't go around asking for handouts. If he asks me again I'm gonna tell him he needs to find a second job and I'm gonna have a talk with him.
 
John B.- "I'm gonna have a talk with him."

I'm sorry, but I don't think it's your concern to "have a talk with him". If it's anybody that should talk to him it should be your Human Resource department. I feel it's none of your business because you don't have a dog in this fight. You didn't loan him any money.
 
John B,

Not to be rude, but here goes, does he have an addiction issue? He knows his expenses, and would chose to live outside those means it seems.

Stay out of it, he may need a lot of correction.

D>
 
Maybe somebody should ask him what trouble he was in that he needed to borrow money all the time. You never know, maybe the kid is sick and has a lot of doctor bills.
 
If he owed you money then I could see the gripe but he don't and it sounds like he is paying these people back one way or another. If it bothers others than they should do what you do just don't loan him money.
 
John B.- "Last Tuesday at lunch time he came in to the break room paid off one co-worker then looked at me and said, "Do I owe you any money?"".

BTW, for him to say that to you, probably means you were 'mean muggin' him and that prompted his reply.
 
Educated guess is that he has an addiction issue. Seen it too many times, and know a couple that have kicked the issue, and come to find out when they no longer spent their check on drugs or alcohol they had money to pay the bills. Any other behavior issues? Now, if this is causing issues in the workplace, it is best to say something to either your supervisor, or HR, but I would not speak directly unless you honestly feel it might help him. I know it might not seem right to cause him issues with his job, but sooner or later they have to face consequences. Unfortunately sometimes they simply have to hit rock bottom to turn around. Your choice obviously, but I would not loan anything, unless you know what it is going for.
 
Sometimes I feel like asking him on a friendly basis. I hate to see him have to borrow money all the time but I would like for him to see what his own problem is if he's willing to admit to it. It probably is time to call HR. Most of the workers are getting disgusted with him. It's a daily occurence.
 
"If he asks me again I'm gonna tell him he needs to find a second job and I'm gonna have a talk with him".
You can't be serious. I would hate for you to "have a talk with me" just because I manage money differently then you.
 
John B.- How is any of this your business or problem?

You have NOTHING invested in him, so what is YOUR problem?
 
Calling it "managing" money is a bit of a stretch if he's broke the day after payday. Someone does need to have a talk with him, IMHO.
 
To many people run to HR these days.....rumours in the workplace make everyone look bad, the person who is the subject as well as the gossips.
 
John B.- "It probably is time to call HR."

I'm sorry for replying so muck but, this really pisses me off. It does not affect you! You aren't lending any money. Why do you think you should stick your nose into other peoples business?

I can see the call to HR now:

HR: Can I help you?
John B.: Ugh, yes. There is a guy borrowing money from other workers every week. I don't feel it is right.
HR: Is he paying them back?
John B.: Ugh, well [pause], yes.
HR: Has he borrowed any money from you?
John B.: No, he asked but I told him NO.
HR: Well, if we hear anything, we will deal with it. Have a good day.

Now, you are more than likely labeled a 'troubl maker' with HR.

HTH
 
I'll go along with the majority - M.Y.O.B.
That means MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!

You have no standing in this issue other than as an observer. Stay out of it. You will be glad you did. If you do get into it, it could very well bite you in the backside.

I repeat - M.Y.O.B.
 
(quoted from post at 21:07:59 12/12/16) I'll go along with the majority - M.Y.O.B.
That means MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!

You have no standing in this issue other than as an observer. Stay out of it. You will be glad you did. If you do get into it, it could very well bite you in the backside.

I repeat - M.Y.O.B.
Click to expand...

I agree. The guy has problems. Why add to them? If you can't help him, why make things worse?
 
John I have worked with a fellow that was always borrowing money too. His trouble was a $300 a week child support payment that came out of his $650 check. He struggled to get by until he got his child support reduced.

I will second or third posting telling you to MIND your own BUSINESS!!!! If you not loaning him money you really do not have any skin in this fight.
 
I've seen people who got themselves into something like that where they simply borrowed money and failed to budget paying it back, next paycheck, payback time now they are broke again and wind up borrowing a little more. Gets to be a never ending cycle. Maybe started with a small car repair.....something similar? Could be drugs or booze too. Still trying to play catchup seldom works!

Having said that, STAY OUT OF IT! Ain't none of your business!

Rick
 

Trust me, don't worry about him. He won't be working there by the next year anyway. People like that never hold on to full time employment. He will more than likely be fired. I know because I've worked with 100 of them just like him and none of them work there anymore. People that are off kilter about their finances are similar in just about every other thing they try to do. Used to have a guy borrow money from me quite often at work. Even up to $500 at a time. He always paid me back. But he don't work there any more. Got fired just like this guy you're talking about is going to. Let him make his own destiny.
 
John B,
Since you posted this, I'm guessing you want to improve the situation. A number of us have theorized a drug problem, but you mentioned early on about a "mentality of a 12 yr old". If that is close to right then he may have no idea of budgets or someone else is siphoning his money. Since he is holding down a job then I'd believe there is someone in the background providing some level of oversight. That may well be Social Services. Where I'm going with this is, IF there is a Social Services contact, AND you care to determine who that is, then you could see if they can provide some financial guidance.

As so many have observed, this isn't directly your problem. It obviously bothers you so you'll either need to act and attempt to help or just get tight with walking away. Personally I doubt I could walk away, but that's just me.

Good luck
 
Places I've worked at if the management got wind of the dissention would run the guy off. Then he would really have money problems.
 
Your comment about "having the mentality of a 12 year old" would also be an indication of a drug addiction to me. Recovery rates for addicts is next to zero in my experience. Trying to help him will more than likely result in grief and complications you don't need in your life.
 
I would have a talk with him. If he seems to have a mental problem. Maybe you can get him help.If he is on drugs stay away. It will cost you. I lost my son that way. Smart kid and had many good paying jobs. Lost them all because he liked playing with drugs. Dead at 36 from a wasted life.
 
If he is open to help and you can talk to him and noone else will know about it (I doubt he would want others to know he needed help and you were helping him), you may be able help him with the concept of budget, not spending money you don't have, etc. If he is not open to help and wanting it you can do nothing.
 
I agree with what most others say -- run away, don't look back! If you ever really want to help, maybe tell him that if he's at a point where his child is going hungry, you'll take him to a grocery store for some food. But do so only as a humanitarian gesture that won't let him use the money for booze or drugs, and don't let it become a habit. Don't expect to ever get paid back for it.
 
Having a guy walking around begging for money at work is annoying as &^%$. There's a reason 99% of businesses have a sign that say "NO SOLICITATION" posted on the door. The fact he is making his problem other people's problem is something management should be made aware of. I wouldn't tolerate it any more than I would expect a woman to tolerate a perve constantly asking her for a date. Instead of wanting into her pants he wants into your back pocket.


If he asks you again for money tell him exactly what you think about having a God *&^% panhandler in the workplace. If he doesn't like hearing it he'll cross you off the list of people he hits up for money. As mentioned in another post you probably won't have to worry about him long, people like that never seem to hold onto a job. When he quits 20 people will be complaining about how he owed them money when he walked out the door.
 
How soon we forget how being young and living paycheque to paycheque feels.
Tis the season, if it is within your means hand him $50 next payday, wish him a Merry Christmas and tell him you hope it will help him get back on track.
 
Enablement is the act of kindness that perpetuates an issue. It ends up being the fuel of continued failure. If care is intended, discuss with others and let consensus be a guide. The real issue is where the money is going, (as others have pointed out) root cause drives the direction of change. Child welfare is (or would be) my driving ingredient. Jim
 
John: a little different here. I would tell him no on borrowing and if needed tell him the bank is down town or get a credit card. Next if this is a big issue I would go to plant management its like some one coming in late all the time or drunk on duty. YOU CANNOT FIX HIS PROBLEM.
 
Amen to your answer. A worthy employee would NEVER ask for a 'loan'. Having been a shop foreman for almost 30 years, this would not have been tolerated.
 
Get a hat or tee shirt with one of the funny sayings like "lending money causes amnesia" or others I can't recall now. And wear it with pride.
Otherwise if people want to loan him money let them get taken ! They will soon stop it.
 
A bag of pot probably lasts two weeks and is not expensive. Not weed. There is a thing about heroin written by William S. Burroughs called " the algebra of need". Interesting reading.
 
I've been in similar situations. It's not comfortable for anyone. I'd tell him that what he's doing is unprofessional and reflects poorly and shouldn't be happening in the work place. it'd be best to stop it before you jeopardize your job. If it persists, I'd consider raising the issue to his boss. He's not going to get help unless he wants it and is aware that it's available, and money is seldom an actual solution, more like a temporary bandaid that needs to be reapplied regularly.

What's he using the money for? If he's buying lunch, I'd offer to pack a second lunch for him before I lent him the money to buy it. I know it's rough sometimes, but you gotta work hard to get past the rough spots.
 
Also some companies have a mutual aid where they loan money. example death in family and you have to fly to Hawaii.
 
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