Old Home Place isn't Occupied

Our parents moved to assisted living almost 2 years ago. The house will never be lived in again ever. Do to urbanization close by. I have been cleaning out their house. I have a brother who is the youngest of us 4. He is getting upset because he doesn't want a memory of the house being empty. I emptied out the 2nd floor and he has taken items back up there. He wants things to be done fair he once said. He has said he thinks mom and dad are coming back. He thinks we should repair the city water line between the house and meter so we can have water in the house (then pay to heat it for $300 a month on natural gas). Then I hear from a 3rd party that the farmer who farms the farm also baled straw off our farm then delivered it and handed my brother the money and my brother didn't pay him for delivering it. My brother has been mowing the grass for years but never trims and he doesn't want any one else to touch the lawn. He won't even let his 11 year old son on the mower. I've had his son up this summer serveral times to mow my lawn and he did great. I have gotten my 2 brother and sister together and asked if they want anything. We started throwing things in the trash and the one brother said "I'll give you all $50 a piece to let everything set where it is"

MY BROTHER IS IN TOTAL DENIAL...I guess it'll come to him in time. He's just unhappy where he's living at the present (last 20 yrs) is why he's this way...living in the past.

You may want to ask your insurance company if they cover an empty house where no one is living in.

Everyone grieves in different ways. I think I would be inclined to give him control of the house and let him do as he pleases as long as he pays for it. I can relate to your brother. When my parents died I really hated to get rid of the house but I lived 600 miles away. The house had been in the family since the 19th century. The area was so depressed my brother sold the house for 5k to get rid of it and it needed no repairs to move in.

In our small town a man in his late 90's passed away and left mucho $ to have his very large old house kept up just as he left it. He had no heirs and very few friends. Sad.

A friends aunt was that way too. Everything in the house and out building had to stay just exactly how he grandmother had left them. Grandma passed in the late 80's, Judy 2 years ago. Jim lived in the house sense about 02. Every year Judy would visit and the first thing she (2/3rds owner) would do is inspect to make sure Jim hadn't moved anything! Judy had no children and she left her share of the farm to Jim and his brother. So for the time being the family farm is intact.

Rick

Sounds like your brother needs to grow up and have a reality check.

Let him pay to keep it the way he wants it,he pays the heat and repairs he may change his mind

IF your brother wants the house to stay the way it is make him bare all the cost of doing that. IF the house is already the children's than split it off and let him have it as his "share".

Truthfully if your the guardian for your parents, just lay down the law to the immature brother. Your going to have trouble eventually from him so doing it now or later really does not make mush difference. As far as money handling he should not be involved in any of it IF it is your parents and your guardian. IF your not their guardian then there is little your can do. The house is still theirs then. It would be up to them to handle your brother.

Our insurance company said that if someone got hurt in our grandparent's old buildings that the courts would hold us "guilty of maintaining an attractive nuisance" that people are drawn to. We pushed all of the small buildings into the barn with the dozer. A few days later we had a real thick fog, so we torched all of the buildings. By the time the fog cleared, so had the smoke so nobody saw it and complained about us polluting the air.

Or you might offer it to the fire department to burn as a training exercise. Or give it to someone that will move it away.

As others have said, you may as well start settling things now. I have some neighbors that when their mother passed, the 4 kids tried off and on for 3-4 years to settle and divide things. All it takes is one unhappy and the result was a public auction and divide the proceeds. They did manage to divide the real estate, but I bet it was not without some arguments, and obviously the real winner was their attorneys. Same situations with both my parents, much hard feelings and court cases on both. So much so on my mothers side that when her sister passed the only way she knew about the funeral was by reading the obituary in the local paper (they had not spoken in years, and my grandmother had passed roughly 30 years prior).

Wow tough one You may have to look into legal options if you are the power of attorney or executer of estate. As others said presenting him a bill may help him. Than there was this one a friend of mine lost his parents (he got the farm) had it before they died. Posted all the land and let no one (I mean no one on it) or in the buildings. He and his wife have a house in town neither her nor the kids go there. Good guy but strange dude guess in that case it was his to do as he wished and money (or lack of) was not his issue.

After my father-in-law passed we had auction and cleared out the house, this was an 11 year old house in town, while waiting for a buyer. The house was empty and insurance agent said just get an old table and couple of chairs and put it so it can be said it was able to be used for something. Before that got done the house sold. I think the cook stove went with the house.

When I buy a rental house that needs rehabilitation, my insurance is extremely expensive because house is vacant.

I have a hard time letting go too so I understand his side. But on the other hand its just as sad to keep things as they are and watch them deteriorate. Like others say I think your best bet is let your brother keep it likes he wants it. It will take him some time but I would think he would come around.

(quoted from post at 12:49:16 10/31/16) You may want to ask your insurance company if they cover an empty house where no one is living in.

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After a certain time, varies by company, they consider the house vacant and some or all coverage is suspended. In come cases you can get a vacancy permit to cover the place while no one is there. The definition of vacancy is sometimes in question, talk to your company. Since you or siblings area around the place frequently they may not consider it vacant.