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Septic tank humor

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Paul Shuler

Member
We have lived in our home since 06 and never have given a thought to having our septic tank pumped. Last weekend we got 11"+ of rain over two days. Most I have ever seen in my life time. Got water in the basement and our pump ran every 30 seconds for at least 16- 18 hours pumping all of that water right into the septic system. The lateral field had about 3" of water over them. This all got me worrying about our system so I called Reeds plumbing out today to check it all out. They put a larger clean out on it and pumped it. They said the system appeared to be in good shape. At one time we had 7 in the home when the kids moved back for a while with the grandbaby. My wife got tickled at the sign on the back of their truck. Yesterdays meals on wheels. I didn?t think a discussion board made up of Farmers with get to grossed out about me talking about crap on here.
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Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services, where we put the P.U. in pump!

Service with a smile - even on hot days.

No tank too big, no tank too small, teacup or cesspool, we suck 'em all.

If your eyes are stinging, my phone should be ringing.
 

You were wise to get it pumped, ten years is pushing it. I just got mine done after seven years and it was still OK. It could have gone a couple more years but the penalty for going too long is too steep for me to want to see how long It could go. A lot of people say not to worry about them, but a lot of them fail too. That access tube will make it easier to get at next time. Mine is down only a foot or so and I had it uncovered before the guy came, but I am going to put a tube and plastic lid on mine so that I don't have to dig it up next time when I am 73 years old.
 
Local septic pumper has, for many years, had a pump truck with a painting showing a skunk holding his nose and a caption reading "Lil' Stinker".
 
Up here in WI we have to have the septic pumped every three years. ITS THE LAW. I have an old 750gal tank plus a 3yr old 1,000gal tank in series and I still have to follow the rules and have the tank pumped every three years. The state sends out a notice and if you don't return the form with a licensed pumper signature they will come after you.

Living alone, I think it would be impossible for me to create any appreciable sludge in three years. They must think I'm eating pretty good.
 
mines still working, at least i dont see or smell anything, knock on wood! the worst septic tank fail is when the thing is set shallow and after that somebody places the propane tank where the propane truck backs over it with a full load, now thats a mess to clean up, when i was in the heavy recovery business we had that happen, took 2 big wreckers the get the truck out of the tank, id hate to have been the mechanic that had to repair that truck!
 
Pumping the basement water (sump pump) into the septic system is unnecessary (I know that it is commonly done). And if you were connected to the public sewer, it would be some sort of violation in most areas. At my previous house, I had to have my sump pump connection changed to pump the water outside (and not into the public sewer).
 
Just wondering why your groundwater/sump pump/storm drains would be aligned to pump to your septic system? Keeping those two separate would be best for your septic health I would think, less water flow to move solids from tank before they can break down completely and too much water for the drain field to evaporate properly. The groundwater drains here are aligned to a catch basin and then the ditch. I know the local officials are identifying houses with storm drain water/sump pumps aligned to the public sewers to limit excess water processing.
 
I was told years ago by a pectic tank guy to put a Ice cream bucket of feed Urea in once a year to feed the bacteria. I thought there was a problem this year after 20 years but the tank only had a thin crust on it.
I replaced what was left of the original clay tiles leading to the field and we're back in business. Now with only two of us here most of the time, I put in a small container of Feed Urea every time change.
Dave
 
Wow. Wouldn't it be great if there were a law that required everybody to buy your goods or services?
 
I agree, Ours is not a sump pump so much as it's a lift pump to run all of our waste water to the tank. But when the basement started to fill up it poured over into the lift pump and pumped it out for us. We have never had a drop of water in the house before so this was a first for us. Many others had it so much worse than us.
 
You might want to re-plumb your sump pump to discharge and as far away down slope as possible from your septic field.
 
I have just a 500 gal tank. 5 of us here since 66. Pumped once. 25 yrs ago. Didn't need it. Old paper pipe collapsed. But just stool goes into it. Everything else goes across field.
 
What my Dad always did when we were in our old house, and what I've done since mine was finished 20 years ago, is to do the same with a packet of live yeast. I've had at least three people in my place since day one, and I have never had any issues.
 
A Buddy of mine worked at a precast yard that made concrete septic tanks and the company logo included "Your $h** Is Our Bread & Butter". Always and eye catcher.
 
We had our 1.000 gallon tank for first time at 32 years. Only the toilets go through septic tank and water from sinks, bath tub, and washer go through grease trap and then into leach field. I feed ours with milk and ice cream that is getting old and Ridex. When they open it up it was working great . It would work every few minutes.
 

My dad told me a story about a guy getting his tank pumped. He was standing next to the opening shooting the breeze with the pump operator. When he pulled his hand out of his pocket a nickel came out with his hand and went down the septic hole. He stood there a few minutes with a funny look on his face, then pulled out his wallet a pulled out a few dollars and threw it in the hole. The septic guy asked him why he threw the money down the hole? The man told; " Do you expect me to climb down there just for a nickel"?
 
We had to put a new septic in when we moved in 30 years ago. Last spring things got to flowing slow so I had it pumped. Full of hard stuff. 30 years is not too bad, and I don't plan to pump it again until I'm 93. There's only two of us now so we don't get as much detergent from the laundry going into it. Everything goes into ours.
 
A preacher was asked by a funeral director to conduct a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the back country.

The preacher was not familiar with the backwoods, and got lost. Being a typical man, he would not stop and ask directions.

He finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. He felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

The preacher went to the side of the grave and looked down and saw that the vault lid was already in place. He didn't know what else to do, so he spoke his words.

Upon conclusion, he bid the workers farewell and headed to his car.

As he opened the door to his car, He heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before.......and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
 
You beat me to it Tim. Remember before he went to the Lil" Stinker logo, He had one of his trucks stenciled with "Sippin' Sue"?
 
Heard once a fellow fell into a septic tank. He yelled "Fire!". Pretty soon a fire truck drove up, a fireman put a ladder down, and the fellow crawled out.

"Tell me", the fireman asked, "How come you yelled "Fire!" when you fell into a septic tank?"

"Simple', the fellow replied, "Who'd have come and pulled me out if I'd hollered,'Sh*t?"
 
We live in a semi-rural area just west of Minneapolis. Our town REQUIRES that the septic system be pumped every 3 years. A liscensed pumper must sign off on the job and submit it to the town. I "think" it might be a statewide mandate but not sure
 
Also heard if you flush a beer down every once in awhile it keeps thing perk'n down there. I use some spent yeast from the local brewery. Good way to utilize that Bud Lite that is left over from the BBQ.
 
I've had real good luck with putting beer in my septic. Although I've found out that the usefulness of the beer is increased if I filter it through my liver first.
 
We put a bucket of "horse apples" (droppings) into the septic tank every year to keep it working.
 
Must have been before my time, but his Lil' Stinker and the decorated outhouse (for those unaware, the owner puts out one of his port-a-pottys with the door open and an "occupant" dressed according to the season) are certainly a landmark--I've seen many a time when someone used it for directions--"turn left half a mile past the Lil' Stinker place" or somesuch.
 
Our area (county, or MI?) requires tanks to be pumped when a property sells. Opening up the one from our old house before we moved to the farm, the tank guy said he appreciated the business, but it was possibly the worst thing to do for a system- if it is working correctly, leave it alone. It is a natural digester, needs little oxygen, and has material in several states of decomp, cleaning it out makes all new material, all the same state, with lots of air.
 
I hate my septic tank. Now I am very careful what goes in the hole.I wanted to connect to the city sewer with a lateral through my neighbors land. The city was going to make me bring the sewer main up the street to my house.Sorry not now. I already gave them a 80k road in front of Mom's place when I divided her land, she left my brother and myself. stan
 
25 years on our tank and leach field and so far no problems. Ive had it pumped twice just for grins and it looked just fine according to my uneducated eye and the pump truck guy. The county we live in says to pump every three years, but there is no requirement other than when you sell the place. Then it has to be done. I do add some powdered chemical that someone sold me years back once a month. Can't say it works or doesn't work, but since I have not had an issue I will say it works. I also put plenty of used beer in there as well.

Greg
 
Nope. Thank goodness! Mom used to say- throw a dead chicken in the septic when you put in a new one. Bacteria from rotting starts the whole desired process. Our gravity (not mound) system has been pumped a couple times since installation in 1993...only because the leach field was frozen for awhile. Pumper liked it that he could dump into our dairy lagoon.
 
Don't let laundry water with bleach go into your septic system. Also, don't use antibacterial soaps if you are on a septic system. These things will affect the bacteria in the septic tank and cause it to fill up with solids way faster.
 
(quoted from post at 22:17:13 12/31/15) Don't let laundry water with bleach go into your septic system. Also, don't use antibacterial soaps if you are on a septic system. These things will affect the bacteria in the septic tank and cause it to fill up with solids way faster.
Click to expand...

When I went to get my permit to add onto my first home in 1975, they told me that it was bad to have your laundry machine on your septic system. Ten years or so,later it became the law that it had to go into it.
 
(quoted from post at 08:35:12 01/01/16) I haul milk on weekends!
Click to expand...

The wife's stepfather has had various truck driving jobs. Once he was stopped for some sort of inspection and a lady DOT inspector asked what he was hauling, and he responded with Gasoline north and milk south. She recorded it.
 
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