Scam artists

Been home a few days helping my daughter Christine and her husband Gene deal with the death of Gene's father Dean. They had some suspicions that a "friend" of Gene's dad was taking advantage of him but there was nothing they could do to stop it since Dean said it was ok and he was of sound mind. When they started to go through his things they found just how serious it was. They found that the guy had taken pretty much everything. There were hundredsbof dollars a week in checks written, stolen guns, a boat that is missing and presumed stolen. The guy had also stored 2 motorcycles in the garage that were stolen from elsewhere. They also found loans, max'd credit cards, and a mortgage on a house in Montana. My daughter had tried on several occasions to get Dean to cut the guy off, but he was desparate to have a "friend". It amazes me what some folks will do, the lengths they will go to, just to avoid working. Now a young couple trying to survive on a military income has to take on the burden of the funeral costs for their father. Dean had many times that much money in net worth, savings, and retirement accounts just a couple years ago. The army has only given Gene 10 days off too. As if dealing with the funeral wasn't enough, now they have all this extra and only 10 days to do it. Guess it just frustrates me when this type stuff happens.

That gags me. There is not much to do except with titles (if any) to claim goods. Checks and cash are gone. High drama. Jim

Lots of people make a living preying on the elderly. Chances are the old folks have outlived their friends, live away from family and aren't too savvy when it comes to scams. We get calls on a regular basis; once they determine that you still have all your faculties, they just move on to someone else. But if the crooks can get their hooks into an old person with some money, they will take all they can get - and they will feel good about robbing the old folks.

If the Son would have kept better relations with his Father that would not have happened so Dad went looking.

That really sucks!!!!
Beth and I went to an estate lawyer a month ago, and everyone should be aware of what nursing homes and hospitals can take. It wasn't cheap, and took a lot of paperwork to set up a irevokable trust to put all our assets into. The trust does have an executor, to handle all transactions. That person has to be a trusted family member.
Even though the trust is now all set up and legal, if something serious that insurance part D doesn't cover and we can't pay it they can still take our assets until Aug of 2020. 5 yr statute, so we both have to survive for another 5 years with good health insurance, or die quickly without major long term care.
Loren

Kinda hard to keep too keep relations close from afganistan. Or Tennesee where he is stationed, for that matter.

Then who pays expenses after 2020? Know of two individuals in assisted living facility that have switched around assets, farm ground and big cash to children and now having tax payers foot their bill. My father tried that with an Aunt, sorry but I just don't think that's right.

now while the "friend" may have been scamming and stealing from the father, let me give you some perspective from the other side.

when my grandmother was sick and then ultimately passed, we had "family" come out of the wood work wanting to know where all of her money was and what their share of the split was. Boy they sure disappeared quick when we told them there was no money because of medical expenses. To this day I have family I don't speak to because they felt my father and I somehow stole from her. Sometimes people not there with an ill person don't understand all of the expenses involved.

You sure are RIGHT. Mom and Dad have constantly been harassed by scammers since they retired. Mom was pretty good about not giving any info on the phone but slipped up when Dad was having computer problems. Someone posed as AOL and were a scammer. Dad had a stroke 6 years ago so did not use computer much. They just shut it all down.

Jon: I would encourage you to talk to an attorney, District prosecuter or elderly rights group. Some states have laws on fleecing the elderly also if this guy has stolen good he may be in big trouble. They may be able to freeze his bank accounts too.

There was a farm here that got split up because of something sort of similar. It was a beautiful old farmstead,excellent buildings,a tenant house,120 acres. The old guys wife had passed away years before and he remarried a local widow with some adult offspring,also local for the most part. The old guy had one son of his own,but the son spent most of his time in Grand Rapids.
The old guy died before his second wife,so when she died,her kids went in and had an auction of all the personal property,then they sold the farm. A friend was wanting to sell his smaller farm and cash in his wife's retirement to buy it,but from what's been said,it was sold to a doctor. That is,until they did a title search before closing. Seems the old guy has signed the place over to his son before he even married the widow.
Those folks wouldn't even come in to town for quite a while and everybody kind of snickered because they didn't give the son any of the proceeds from the auction and didn't plan to give him anything from the sale of the farm.
Things went awry though. The son signed the place over to one of his "boyfriends" for some stupid reason,and that guy split it up six ways from Sunday,now it's all built up out along the road and will probably all fall in to a hole one of these days.

This is a tough one. I had an uncle that in his elder years was used by "friends" and family, and while not as bad as you describe, it still made us sick to see what went on, with little to nothing we could legally do about it. He wanted to give me a tractor, but I insisted on paying more than fair market value for it, because he got stuck with it as collateral for a loan that he made to a deadbeat. He cried when I paid him. (I figured out later the loan was for a bit more than I paid, but he wouldn't accept the difference when I offered.) We also took care of him in his final years, not for pay, but just because it was the right thing to do, and it helped keep some of the leaches at bay. His "good heart" was an easy mark.

What is "legal", and what is "just" are two very different things, and unfortunately, "justice" is all too rarely exercised, in or out of court. In a "less civil" society, the bad apples aren't tolerated.

Speaking only for myself here, I believe that we all answer for our deeds (and omissions) in this life, and while I would wish that everyone repent, i.e.: voluntarily and sincerely provide adequate restitution for their wrongs if at all possible, I also realize that all of us have fallen short of the mark. For my own failings, I would much prefer mercy to justice, and I find it gets easier to leave the proper measure of "justice" to the One who who is not only faithful to forgive as we "bring forth fruits worthy of repentance", but for those who show no mercy says "vengence is Mine".

As always, "YAMMV".

We had some of that when my mother died, but not too bad. It's a bad deal when that happens.

Go see the County Attorney! That guys needs to account for his actions.

They have been working with them, but so far nothing can be done. They are waiting for him to come back
for the 2 motorcycles stored in the garage. If he shows for them he will be arrested.

Well, Dwag, I have worked all my life and made at the most $35 bucks an hr. When I was getting my cancer treatments earlier this year, the doctor made a 5 min. visit to me each week after the nurses asked all the questions about how I was doing, and pluged my responses into a cumputer, rather than him; the 44 daily treatments were $3,200 per day, His short visit which amounted to nothing was another $800 each week. There is REALLY something wrong with our medical care system!!!!
They could wipe out your entire lifes savings in a matter of months.
Think about that!!!!
Loren.

Jon I feel for your son-in-law. There are some people that deserve a straight shot to He77!!!! This fellow is one of them. I have been involved in straightening out these type of messes before. If you do not have the assets to hire a GOOD local attorney you will get little to nothing back. It sounds like your son-in-law is not in the position to really fight this between his being in the service and more than likely not having the extra cash around to fight this.

It seems that these people get away with this too often. Our elected officials hide behind the law saying there is nothing they can do. We all know what is Right and wrong, then there is illegal. Which these days is too often not right but mainly wrong.

I know I have a fight coming when my Father passes away. He has made good money his whole life but he spent that and more. So he has nothing left. My sisters and youngest brother do not believe me on this and are telling all who will listen that they will get "their share" when my Father dies. I can show them that their share would be about $800 each month if they want to help pay his assisted living care. My brother and I split the bill that is left after my Father's SS and retirement pay what it will. He sold me his house ten years ago for FULL market value. I have three different appraisals to show that I paid market value too.

My one Grand Mother said there are few things worse than having money for your relatives and "friends" to fight over. She set hers up so that after she was so old it went into a trust that had the county Probate Judge as the administrator (long time friend). She had her needs covered and then when she pasted everything left went to charities.

Doesn't always work that way. I am trying to help a young man. That treated his dad like a king. Helped him any time he needed it. Went fishing and hunting with him. On his beck and call.Came home to an empty house after being laid off from the oil fields.Seems dad has been stealing from him for a long time.Now dad is gone along with everything the kid owned.

When my mom died. My two sisters threw a fit about getting their fair share.Until they found out what their fair share was going to cost them.

lets turn this completely around I worked very hard an not joking I got the fields ready to plant an planted them got the combine ready to harvest both wheat an corn fed cattle in the winter an gave my dad money to pay for his 160 acres he bought otherwise he wouldn't be where he is if it were not for me an my sister the oldest the young ones say we did nothing so we don't get a dime My dad would not even be in his house if it were not for us an still get nothing what do you think of that my tractor started at 6 an most of the time never stopped till dark an after dark I don't think its fair that i get nothing

Our family had a similar deal when an aunt with no children passed, had some cousins that hadn't seen her in years show up 2 weeks after the funeral to see what they had coming to them, were shocked that there were only bills to be paid. Had some hard words over it all. Luckily the cousin that handled her affairs had reciepts and records in good order.

Fair weather friends and ungratful family are sometimes as much to blame as the parisites. We can poke holes in the air and condem these situations but how long has it been since you visited an elderly shut-in? People need companionship and voids are often filled by undesirables if we alow voids to form. When you vist your eldely parent and see things they buy or do which you don't approve of,maybe it's better not voicing your disapproval. If one feel's invogorated and optomistic on the way home from visting their parent they are doing something right. On the other hand if they feel hopless and sad mom or dad likly feel's the same and it's up to us to fix it. The older I get the more I realize just how much unconditional love resides in old dogs and how little inside mankind as a whole. Jealousy and greed make slaves of men because both are impossible to satisfy.

You may put the guy in jail, but you can probably forget about seeing any of the money he took. Most likely it all went in his arm.