Have to watch what I say

BIG RUH · Mar 18, 2015

While at work last night, was talking to a friend and jokingly said that with the weather warming up, I needed to rotate the air in my tires. Remove the winter air and install the summer air. Apparently someone over heard me and went to the automotive dept. to see about getting the air rotated in their tires. Going to have to watch what I say at work.

rrlund · Mar 18, 2015

And people wonder why I get SO frustrated with some of the stupidity that others will buy in to.

kevinj54 · Mar 18, 2015

Someone here was looking for blond jokes..............

ypop · Mar 18, 2015

LOL Big Ruh tell them they have to fill the air in the tires when the valve is at the top other wise more air leaks out than you put in!
Ypop

fixerupper · Mar 18, 2015

Now that made me chuckle. Dad said when he got his first bicycle as a kid back in the early thirties the fella at the filling station told him he needed to change the air in the new tires after they were broken in so one day dad dutifully came to the filling station to change the air. He said the old guys there about fell off their chairs laughing.

wisbaker · Mar 18, 2015

Worse part is how torqued off some of the car dealers get when you won't pay'em for air rotation and the other "suggested" services they try to sell you every time you're in there.

redforlife · Mar 18, 2015

Seriously, I heard of an old lady that use to make the filling station deflate and inflate her tires about twice a year. For some reason she thought the air would get stale and needed freshened up I guess. Filling station couldnt convince her it wasnt nescisary. They never really could get her to explain her logic behind it.

Dick2 · Mar 18, 2015

P.T. Barnum was right.

Mike M · Mar 18, 2015

Well sell them that service !

JF in MI · Mar 18, 2015

I think it is some kind of genetic glitch. When I was in the auto repair business I had seen lots of people who had the most incredibly stupid notions (which is one thing). But trying to talk them out of those notions was impossible.

flying belgian · Mar 18, 2015

Few years ago I had a lady come to get some hay. She had a little compact car and one of those trailers you fold up like an ironing board and hang on the garage wall. I asked how many bales you want. She said as many as I can get on. We loaded trailer and I kiddingly said you can squeeze one in the seat beside you and we can cut the strings on a couple and shove them in the back seat. Buy God that's exactly what she did.

Robin Hood · Mar 18, 2015

I'm on my way to the store to pick up some halogen fluid and a metric crescent wrench. Anyone need anything?

Goose · Mar 18, 2015

Speaking of watching what you're saying, at the County Commissioners meeting yesterday morning we awarded the bid for a new belly dump trailer for hauling gravel etc.

The Shop Foreman had all the info and was presenting the specs of two bids. There was a minor difference in capacity and the Foreman said they could make that up by dodging scales.

As soon as he said it, it dawned on him that the County Sheriff was seated about five feet behind him. The look on his face was priceless.

The Sheriff just laughed.

Anonymous-0 · Mar 18, 2015

Back in the steam thrashing days, it wuz guite common to have a youngster go git a bucket of steam for the ingine.

OH Boy · Mar 18, 2015

I need one of the metric crescent wrenches but it has to be a left handed one.

john *.?-!.* cub owner · Mar 18, 2015

I know what you mean about being careful what you say at work, but for a different reason. Around 35 years ago when home microwaves were new I was working in our Telco toll center, and during break one day I mentioned that a year or two before I was working in an appliance store when they started selling microwaves, and they had a clear plastic (Lucite?) block with little neon bulbs embedded in it to demonstrate the way the internal fan distributed the microwave radiation around in the ovens. The next morning one of the long distance operators called down and said the microwave in the break room looked like it was about to explode. When one of the guys went up to check it, someone had taken several neon bulbs, of which we had a large supply, and Scotch taped them to the inside of the microwave door. I started being careful what I told about after that.

tim s · Mar 18, 2015

Here's one more..

tim s · Mar 18, 2015

and another..

Nancy Howell · Mar 18, 2015

Sure. A can of compression and a left-handed monkey wrench.

wisbaker · Mar 18, 2015

Ah and then there was the Military traditions:
A bucket of Jet Wash
50' of flight line
Sound-Powered Phone Batteries
a ST-1 (ST one)

Unit I was in in Northern Michigan decided to pull one over on the new troop and someone sent him from the area up to base supply for a bucket of jet wash and a roll of flight line. Of course the old sarges had fun running the kid all over. What the folks out in the area didn't realize is that at some time he caught on, and went back tot eh dorm and started phoning in his "up dates" from there. Milked it for almost a day before someone caught one. They had a little more respect for him after that.

Bruce SEKs · Mar 18, 2015

When I was in my late teens, my mother kept complaining about a noise in her car. I told her that it was the muffler bearings. She went to the mechanic to have it checked out. Needless to say has never forgotten it. She's 82 and I'm 64

Denny K · Mar 18, 2015

Friend of mine was working at a gas station (when they were full service) when a guy pulled up at the pumps, got gas and wanted a quart of oil in the engine. It was an older Pontiac that had a fill cap on each valve cover and had 1/2 of the quart put in each side.

Mike(NEOhio) · Mar 18, 2015

I served an apprenticeship at a GM plant. They sent the new kids for a spool of 1/8 pipe threads. And don't tap the holes from the wrong side, you get left hand threads.

JoeM(GA) · Mar 18, 2015

If you people would use the blended air, you wouldn't have to change it every season

old-9 · Mar 18, 2015

Going with the military theme ,we had an E-2 looking for Blue Blips for the radar screen as were getting tired of the green blips. Also was always looking for crosnicks. joe

twostepn2001 · Mar 18, 2015

I remember when James formulated this to replace the JD type.....

wilson ind · Mar 18, 2015

Had a kid looking all over Harbor Freight for a metric hammer to work on foreign cars.

IHRedRules · Mar 18, 2015

While you are rotating the air in the tires, be sure to check the blinker fluid, don't want to run low and have the cops pull you over for your blinkers not working.

Weldcase · Mar 18, 2015

In dutch we ask for the "square hole drill bit" or another for the checkered paint.

jimg.allentown · Mar 18, 2015

The ones that get me are the ones that I have heard over the years from experienced, trained mechanics that should know better.
One of my favorites was which wheel is the "drive wheel" on a rear wheel drive car. The correct answer is the one that has the LEAST traction unless you have limited slip differential. Amazing how many would try to tell you that it was always one or the other. Another is the idea that if you do a valve job, the rings are going to fail because of the increased pressure in the cylinders.

Goose · Mar 18, 2015

When I was in the Marine Corps, a MSGT in the jet engine shop got a young Pfc on the 50 yards of flight line bit.

A couple of days later, the same MSGT told the kid to get him a "tailpipe stretcher". Which there actually was. It was a tool to expand a metal fairing to fit over a lip on the back of a jet engine. There was probably a fancy military nomenclature for it, but it was commonly called a tailpipe stretcher.

The kid argued for 15 minutes that there wasn't any such thing.

Mike (WA) · Mar 18, 2015

Was at National Guard summer camp in the Yakima Firing Center in eastern Washington (fancy name for the desert) in 1973 or so. Track came off a tank, I was the rookie, and they sent me back to the motor pool 10 miles away in a Jeep to get a BFR to put the track back on. Sergeant at the motor pool put on a big show- "Don't those idiots know that BFR's are to be obtained locally- its right there in the PAM- ask if any of them can read!"

So I dutifully drove back to the field, and relayed the message (without the idiot part). Huge laugh had by all- track was back on the tank, and they showed me the BFRs they had found- all were large rocks. I went along with the joke, and acted suitably embarrassed.

Although I would have kind of liked to learn how a track was put back on using large rocks, it did occur to me that 105° days were probably better enjoyed in an open top Jeep on the highway than trying to muscle a track back on an M48A1 tank.

Bob Harvey · Mar 18, 2015

Some wise person (MANY years ago) said, " there is no shortage of stupid". Look at the guy next to you (no, not your bride - leads to disharmony!)
;^)

CKain(MI) · Mar 18, 2015

On a rear wheel drive, no limited slip, no tire rotation, on rear tire (left side)will wear out much sooner then the other ? The normal torque direction does try to go to one tire. That wheel will always spin, if both wheels on gravel. That's what some call the drive wheel.

CKain(MI) · Mar 18, 2015

how about sending the new guy out for a bucket of 'prop wash'

black · Mar 18, 2015

In the fab shop , we used to send the green guy for a box of spots for the spot welder .

Larry --ont.

Billy Shafer · Mar 18, 2015

We had a man come in the feed store looking for Deer corn. So we started to load his truck. He stopped the loading ask where the picture of the deer was.Said it wasn't deer corn unless it had a picture of a deer on it.Got mad and told us he was going to have to drive back home. Because no one in this county sells deer corn.

Pair-a-dice farm · Mar 18, 2015

I sell post holes by the truck load.

JDBRIDER · Mar 18, 2015

And 50 feet of flight line.

oleclint · Mar 18, 2015

Years ago when helping a neighbor put up his
T V antenna, We sent his younger brother out to the barn for a " Sky Hook" . That did not turn out good , to put it mildly! clint

NEKS · Mar 18, 2015

I was helping the neighbor farm one summer. Was in the yard filling the field sprayer. There was a tire and wheel lay in the driveway and their birddog had his head caught down in the wheel. There son was in the 7th grade. Told him that, that tire had 35 lbs. of air in it and if he let the air out the dog could pick it up.

racsan · Mar 18, 2015

years ago my grandmother had a flat tire on the way to church, I was with my family (I was about 14 or so) and we came upon her along side of the road, I was let out to change it for her. I got the jack out, raised the car then rotated the tire 1/2 a turn, grandma was standing there watching, I turned to her and said "youre good to go, the flat spot is on the top now". she thought I was serious for a moment....... ha ha... good times!

sotxbill · Mar 18, 2015

(quoted from post at 17:41:12 03/18/15) Going with the military theme ,we had an E-2 looking for Blue Blips for the radar screen as were getting tired of the green blips. Also was always looking for crosnicks. joe

In the Air Force, I was repairing radar and gun sights on the F100 aircraft... First day they had me go to supply to get a box of reticles or "steering dots" for the radar display.. Ended up being sent to serveral different locations till I figured it out.

Chris Jones · Mar 18, 2015

Still love the time I was flying and the flight was delayed due to some mechanical issues for hours. It was late at night and finally they told us they were bringing a brand new plane out for us that was being put into service for the first time right then. As we boarded it had new car, er, plane smell. It was spotless. As me and my colleague were being seated I said to him, yea this is a brand new plane alright. It's pretty exciting be be on the test flight. Moments later I heard a stewardess tell a lady a few seats away, "oh no, it's been flown before--this is the first time we've used it for passenger service."

ErnieD · Mar 18, 2015

Go to a big box store and ask for a fallopian tubing.

jimg.allentown · Mar 18, 2015

Torque path is negligible. The reason for the left tire to wear out first is because we drive on divided highways. More time is spent in the left lane than the right. There is more dust, dirt, left over traction media (from the winter) left over in the left lane. Back in the days of few divided highways, the right tire wore out quicker for a similar reason. The highway grit migrated to the right of the road.

Bottom line: There is no such thing as a "drive wheel" period.

Ron Muhlenkamp · Mar 18, 2015

Lying to people is easy. telling them they've been lied to is hard. Mark Twain

oldtanker · Mar 19, 2015

We had a young soldier at Ft Bliss that was none to bright. He drove the Supply deuce and a half. When it was in for services he was a royal pain to the mechanics who he was supposed to be assisting. They told him that part of the services was to change the stale air in the tires. When the supply Sgt came to the motor pool to check on the truck he found the mechanics working but his driver missing. He found the driver actually changing the air in the tires.

Rick

Dean Olson · Mar 19, 2015

Back in the day a buddy and I got home too late. Seems a beer after work turned into an all nighter. Wife was not happy with me and I thought that was the end of it.

Next time we're all together buddy's wife asked if I was going to carry extra "muffler belts" as my truck seemed to break them often. Seems my buddy was making excuses, more than once.

IF I could have held a straight face we might have pulled it off. But my wife knew,by my reaction, that stories had been told.

JimIA · Mar 19, 2015

I attended a farm mechanics program and went to a CaseIH dealer for my on the job training. One of the mechanics was trying to size me up. A customer brought in a M parade tractor that was missing on a cylinder. As I was taking off the valve cover to see if there was a problem the mechanic came over yelled at me to not jump to conclusions and to simply go up to the parts counter and ask for a can of liquid piston. Knowing he liked his green tractors I replied "What do you think this is a John Deere store?" Himself and the other mechanics broke out laughing. Evidently the last kid in there did go and ask for it. I sure wasn't a great mechanic but I knew that much!

donjr · Mar 19, 2015

While in the service, we sent a guy out for a handful of relative bearing grease. It surprised my LPO so much, that he sent him to our chief, who by now, of course, was the guy who wanted it. We didn't see Rick again until liberty time...

More recently, I asked my waitress at the Texas Roadhouse a few weeks ago if they were serving the newer "DNA free" beef and ribs. She chased the manager down after fifteen minutes, and he came to the table. He wasn't happy with me wasting the girl's time, and I did have to give her a larger tip!!!

JML755 · Mar 19, 2015

be careful about what you ask for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALiqAXiTQBg

:wink:

Harold Hubbard · Mar 19, 2015

Many years ago the standing joke at the state Ag school was to give one of the freshmen a bucket of grain and a bale of hay, and tell him to go up the hill and feed the ram. Most of them would come wandering back and say they couldn't find him. One kid came back without the hay or grain, and shortly after that the school water supply failed. It took quite a while to clean all the hay and grain out of the hydraulic ram that supplied water for the school. He had "fed the ram" all right.

Dave in GA · Mar 19, 2015

Or have green air put into your tires. It's better for the environment if it leaks out.

john *.?-!.* cub owner · Mar 19, 2015

We sent a less than bright clerk to the hardware store to get an 18 inch yardstick. Bad part was the girl working in hardware store tried to order one for her.

Tim in OR · Mar 20, 2015

When I was a truck mechanic, I had a driver ask me for a metric cressant wrench. I pulled a 12 inch one out of my tool box and handed it to him. He said thats not metric. I told him to turn it over. It was stamped metric on one side and Inch on the other.

Have to watch what I say

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