Things better off not said to customers

I currently do not have an "A" in customer relations. Two statements I have made in the last month:

"What part of this do you not understand"

"With all due respect, I have done more of these than you have"

Maybe I need a vacation where it is warm.

After this winter, EVERYONE needs a vacation to someplace where it's warm.

Lake of the Ozarks this summer?

We're going to be in the upper 80's for a couple days and then low 80's the rest of the week. Fill a couple bags with cash and c'mon down.

Do not know yet, depends on where it rains. I do not like to go boating when the water is to low.

I would like to go to Kentucky lakes sometime.

Say - are you a surgeon by chance?

No, Engineer, do factory automation.

Well you are doing ok with that.
It's real bad when you tell the customer the problem is very serious, and he should take his newly purchased tractor back, and get a full re fund on it. Then tell him the problem is hes to stupid to own it!.
I just love these guys that tell me how to do jobs, when i get called out.I Have told some before. if you know all about it why am I here trying to figure out the mess somebody else made trying to fix it!. It sure isn't because you wanted to pay me just to see if I know how to do it!
They usually back away and re appear just as I'm finishing.
Yes I had a few customers like that and wouldn't take the hint, but I don't go there now just told them i am busy when they phoned.
For those guys busy would mean the shop was empty I had nothing to do, and was in the house drinking coffee and watching tv, they annoyed me so much.
Some days that BS from customers is just not worth getting paid for.

Regards Robert

Jimmy Buffett:

"I just shot six holes in my freezer, I need to go somewhere warm"

Too bad. You have the right attitude to be a general surgeon. Well almost ... need some work on a more condescending and indifferent tone, though. ;-)

I told a customer one time that a wrecker would be out to get his car in an hour. He told me he did not want a tow, just come out and get his flat, fix it, and bring it back and put it on his car!(Kinda snotty) I told him the tow was 35.00, service calls are $50.00 per hour and I charged from the time we left the shop till the job was done, including the two trips to his house plus the $10.00 flat repair. It was on the the rollback in the shop 45min later, cost $45.00. (We had a contract whith a towing company,any tow in the city limits one price)

When I used to drive truck over the road I had a mechanic tell me I was shifting the 13 speed wrong. I told him I have backed up more miles then he will ever drive forward.

I think sometimes those things need to be said because the customer has earned it with a long and annoying history.
Last year I told a customer it would be better if he found someone else to round bale his hay. I had baled $6000 worth of bales for him but the crap I had to take just got too much for me. Never happy, always wanted more, always needed it right now and then took 1-2 months to pay.

this weeks forecast

Relative of mine had his Kubota 15 hp 'tractor' (it would fit in a pickup box if you dished one rear wheel inwards, overgrown lawn mower...) hauled to the dealer for repairs and back again. Was about 6 miles from the mini farm to the dealer.

Repairs were just over $200.

Hauling charge was $400.

If my relative was told you would haul the car right off the bat, I think he would have started out protesting too now! once bit, twice shy and all.

Enjoy the thread, lot of 'fun' situations out there I'm sure.

Paul

Not a customer related thing but this past Saturday while fixing breakfast I FELT myself getting angry from being tired of the cold. I know I've been tired of it before but never FELT myself get angry from it

Have to be careful on Ky Lake. Lots of shallow spots. Be sure you have a depth finder.

As many years as Dad and I have combined in the equipment repair business, I know for a fact that the both of us have said as bad, or worse, to certain customers over the years.

My personal favorites are the "safety guy" for some of the larger companies. Told one once that since I didn"t see a skyhook to hook my harness to, and since hooking it to anything else would insure I would swing into the machine and defiately get hurt, that I"d load my tools and carry my happy a$$ back home before I did something as stupid as he was all but demanding that we do. Given that their Bucyrus Erie dragline was sitting with the upper works on cribbing and all but gutted, and the lower sitting beside it, also on cribbing and completely gutted, I guess he decided it was prudent to leave is the heck alone and let us work before they wound up with nothing but s pile is parts sitting there after we left. Never had any more problems out of him after that.

Know of another incident where a companies safety guy lit in on an outside contractor that was attempting to get all of their propane heaters ready for the winter, because he was working more than 4 feet off the floor without any kind of harness. His reponse was something to the effect of ,'What dumb a$$ came up with the 4 foot rule?' Safety guy said he did, and again experienced the reply of, 'Again I say, what dumb a$$ came up with such a stupid rule?' In that case the safety guy was too stuborn/stupid to back down so the contractor told him he didn't even need to look at any more of the the heaters, that they were all beyond repair, and good luck heating the building. I was there the following winter and they heaters hadn't been, and still couldn't be used because the guy was never allowed to finish his work............Thing is, like in my case, there was nowhere to attach any kind of safety harness, short of climbing 20 feet to the roof, without any kind of protection, just to hook something up..........

The worst statement ever concocted is "The customer is always right"!

A guy I worked with brought in a poster that said just that. Underneath it said "F that, sometimes the customer is just an a--hole!

The second statement is much more accurate.

Got a call last Friday from a mechanic "friend of mine". Said he was workin on a HUGE live aboard sailboat and the engine wouldn"t fire. He already had the pump done [nothing wrong w/it] and he needed me there ASAP. I was swamped w/ work and told him, there are only 2 things it could be!!
As I proceeded to tell him what they were, he interrupted me screaming, I don"t care what they are.. I need you to get here and fix this thing!!! I already put 3 pumps on this engine and it still wont start!! I laughed and said, 3 pumps huh? sounds like it isn"t a pump problem!! Then he said, the customer is pi**ed, this engine hasn"t ran in 2 weeks... I said, sounds to me like they need another mechanic!!
Took me longer to get to the boat and back than it did for me to hook the wire to the electric solenoid.. 3 hrs labor at 100.00 hr + 1.75 per mile.. for a 3 minute job..

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

I would rather deal with a safety guy than OSHA.

I think you did great. I just dumped a good paying customer. To demanding and called me a liar. When I told him Annovi pumps were no good. Seven year old pumps and he wants them fixed now. Still have metal in my hand from the unloader valve blowing up.Don't need that kind of customer.

I do freelance electronic repair, and when I have to go out in the field and fix one like that, I always tack on the "stupidity surcharge".

2007 I think it was, the "Valentine's Day Massacre", over three feet of snow in 24 hours, I had been plowing , seemed like forever, when I wasn't stuck. One lady had been panicking since the first flake fell, between refills on her wine glass, calling me every hour, "when are you going to plow"? Finally she called in some favors, irritated somebody enough, and got the town crew to do it with their Cat loader. The next day I was around doing cleanup, and went in to see her disabled husband. She came out and started in on me, told me I was incompetent and didn't have the proper equipment.

"What part of natural disaster don't you understand"?

Somebody else has plowed that driveway ever since then.

I have another drive that I told the owner, "If this was my driveway, that @@##$$^ architect would be right up here with a shovel, every time it snowed."

And another "This driveway is why they invented wetbacks and shovels."

Now that one I like!!! I'll be using it in the future!

I thought "A" was for attitude. Sounds like you might have enough. A warm vacation can"t hurt.

I can be very humble for a $1. BUT some clients need to be fired.

I recently fired one that was profitable but very hard on employees and myself. His favorite line was. "As much money as I pay you" then the abuse started. Whether we where right or wrong I got a call on nearly every job.

The older I get the less stress I want. Fortunately we have enough really good customers so I don't have to tolerate the bad ones.

When your a one, or two man show, OSHA has absolutely no say over anything you do. Well, they can smart off to you on a job site, if they want, but you have every right to pack up your crap and leave if you want, as they have no authority over any company with less than 5 employees.

Or do like we did whe OSHA came into a fab shop I worked at back in the early 90's. He went maybe 20 feet down one side of the shop before going to lunch. When he got back every electrical tool had either been thrown in somewhere and hidden, or things like our welders and fans that were too big to hide all got tagged 'out of service'...and we were all standing around sweeping. The only thing he could find to hit us on was no weight rating on the little stands we set the completed bodies on. Funny to see the look on his face when he first came into a lively, working shop, and came back to a dead zone....LOL