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tractor sayings

B

blue924.9

Member
anybody care to share some good tractor sayings, the one i hear the most is "oliver, the right green" and "nothing runs like a deere with an allis behind it" i have also heard "pulls like a diesel..... Smokes like one to"
 
Not brand specific like your"s, but how about "That tractor"s so worn out it wouldn"t pull a greasy string out of a cats a$$".
 
Wife has the only JD in the family so I like to remind her that they were painted green so they could hide in the grass as the rest of them went by.
 
2 for the combines...

when an axial flow goes thru the field......no birds follow it!!

the john deere 9650 sts......Straight Through Seeding..........
 
From the rear window on a pickup truck...."I'd rather be dead than go red" with the Deere logo under it.
 
My Grampa had an JD out in front of the house every time he
drove passed it he would mumble something that was not
good. The tractor had a cracked block and never ran in my
time on the farm.
Walt
 
Yep that is a bad C



"Yep that is a bad CASE for a tractor". Now days I don't bad mouth any tractor. When some one does I say Yep but wouldn't you like to own it. LOL
 
Remember when I H had a saying like this?:
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
I hope I got that correct. clint
 
A good friend of mine has a t shirt that has this quote on it.
Tractors are like potato chips, you can't stop at just one.
Kow Farmer Kurt
 
Parts Tractor = Beyond Repair
Expo Condition = Been waxed once
Engine runs quiet = 90W gear oil
Drive it away = Owner lives on hill
Stored 20 years = Sitting in fencerow on back 40
No time to restore = Parts don't exist
Solid as a rock = rusted solid
All there = Disassembled on barn floor
Ran when parked = Engine and trans are stuck
Good work tractor = Missing all sheet metal
Tires fair = Hold air but no tread left
Runs OK = Won't pull itself in 1st gear
Industrial model = Completely worn out
Must sell ASAP = Divorce imminent
12 volt conversion = Electrics totally fried
Good oil pressure = Gauge is stuck at 40psi
Well maintained = Oil change 5 years ago
Cut tires = Ran over old disc while mowing
Been shedded = Shed collapsed on tractor
As is = Will never run again
Project tractor = For someone with more$than sense
Engine loose = No compression at all
In Canada = Block frozen and cracked
 
Always liked that one also !

Even funnier when you have to use a chain saw to cut the tree, to move tractor, that has grown up thru frame since parked.
 
You can make fun of green all you want,just remember which
company is still in business.duh they must have done
something right! And I own red tractors.
 
Years ago, a friend's dad bought a sickle bar mower- sold by a tractor dealer who said it had "been through the shop". He had nothing but trouble with it, and opined that it must have hit a post or two on the way through.
 
There was a good sized Case dealer here back in the day that had a bunch of T shirts printed up that said Nothing runs like a Deere when it's being chased by a Case.
 
We only ever had one David Brown tractor , a 990 and that was for a very short time. Ever after that always used to say that D.B. stood for "Don"t Bother".
 
Comment heard when reffering to a Cockshutt combine. "I did not know Cockshutt made a combine, I believe they built a piece of farm machinery and called it a combine"
Nothing personal against cockshutt just was heard.
 
John deere STS combine. Second time seader or
Stolen technology system.
TYM tractors. Trust your mechanic.
International. Binder.
John Deere two cylinders. Put me in the shead.
Brian
 
I think of these one every time I climb on my worn out Ford:

F***ing Owner Real Dumb.
Driver Returns On Foot. (backwards)
 
Now I'll start something. There are Red ones, Orange ones, and Green ones in my barn. But when I need to get work done in the winter, I use a green one. Have at it guys?
 
(quoted from post at 00:22:47 12/19/13) Now I'll start something. There are Red ones, Orange ones, and Green ones in my barn. But when I need to get work done in the winter, I use a green one. Have at it guys?
Click to expand...
If that's the one with the cab and heater, I'm all for it! :lol:
 
couldn't pull a wet noodle
gets stuck when you pee on a tire
13 letter **** spreader
Nothing runs like a deer with a Cat on its ***
It's a good truck, as long as you remember what it is
 
"There's an M M on your hands, put an MM on your
lands" always thought that was clever, and still
check my hands to see if it's there
 
They paint them red so you can find the parts when
they fall off. Had the perfect opportunity to use
that one on a friend last summer. All in fun.
 
I remember the joke about the farmer who took the seat and steering wheel off his tractor , cuz he had lost his a$$ and had no where to turn.
 
(quoted from post at 10:46:02 12/19/13) I remember the joke about the farmer who took the seat and steering wheel off his tractor , cuz he had lost his a$$ and had no where to turn.
Click to expand...

The way I heard your saying was farmer lost his hinny and didn't know which way to turn.
 
(quoted from post at 04:45:30 12/19/13) The one I heard was "The only way to stop a Ford tractor smoking is to stop the engine".
Click to expand...

What is the difference between a fighter jet pilot and his aircraft? The airplane stops whining after it lands.
 
Believe me pal, whining is the last thing you would ever see a fighter pilots do.
Have you ever met one? Name three!
 
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