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Best whopper you've heard?

jon f mn

jon f mn

Well-known Member
Was in the truckstop tonight talking to a nice old driver that grew up on a farm not far from where I grew up. Another younger driver comes over and joins in. He's one of these always has a better story guys. The straw that broke the back, so to speak, was when we were talking about backing wagons and he said that as a kid he worked for a farmer that had him back a baler with 2 wagons behind it up a ramp into a haybarn. AALLL RIGHTY THEN. lol So what is the best farm story you've heard?
 
Feller from Tennessee told me he backed a guys boat down a dock between a couple of other trucks so close ya couldn't get a coat of paint between them. How's that!!
 
My father told me one day that he would carry four five gallon buckets of water at a time to water cattle. I'm not saying it can't be done, but it looks like it would be hard to do. Anyone here carry four buckets at one time?
 
I have seen a neighbor back two wagons behind a baler into his barn many times. He was not going up a ramp but he did it all of the time. His barn was wide inside the door. He would pull the loads up and back the one into the back on one side. Then he would get off the tractor once to pull the pin on the back wagon. He then would back that wagon in beside the first wagon. He only had the two kicker wagons. He would bale them full in the afternoon and then park them inside. The next morning he would pull them out while it was cooler and unload them. He would mow enought to fill the two wagons each day. He never hired anyone to help him put it hay. He would run 10-15 bales in to the loft an then go up and stack them. He would put in 5-6 thousand bales each year this way. He never wasted a step doing anything. He was in good shape health wise and watched his money too.
 
Its not hard to carry four buckets, I used to do it regularly but with feed so they were a little lighter. You don't want to go to far (100 yards) and trying to do it with cows or ewes mobbing around makes it near impossible. If you pick up the handles just right they lock together and don't pull away from each other.

Some people can carry a square bale in each hand, I could only go about ten yards before they start swinging into each other and I have to stop and regroup.

One guy at the feed store picks up three bags of feed (156lbs) and throws them over his shoulder, makes me cringe every time I see it.
 
No one ever accused me of being a rocket scientist. Take that as you may. At times, I may have tried my mothers nerves and patience. On those occasions, she would loose it and say, "Your father must have cheated with the milklady, because there aint no way you could be mine".

Mark
 
It was so windy last week that it blew all the dirt away from around the well, and now we're gonna use it for a silo.

That was the winning whopper in the liars contest 20 or 30 years ago.
 
I never really figured out how big of a whopper this is, so maybe ya'll can help.
The neighbor up the road borrowed a JD 70 and tore the PTO out of it.
IPO, operated by the lever on the right hand side of the seat.
Story goes, he tore it out by shifting it on and off with the small disconnect
next to the gear shifter instead of using the lever by the seat.
I had a hard time moving that dang little disconnect with the tractor off.
Not sure how you would do it with the tractor running.
 
There's a feller in the next town that was a roofer. Never saw him myself, but other guys that knew him said he'd carry three bundles of shingles up the ladder at a time....if it was a two story house. On a one story house he'd throw them on the roof from the ground!! The last time I saw him he was walking bent over and said his back hurt. Wonder why?
 
Me too... backed my truck into my car in my own driveway... forgot to look in my right mirror. Never mind the car was setting there when I got in the truck!! Oops
 
Heard a handful of people say they get better mpg with their pickup when towing. Or my trucking friend says he could get 800 hp out of his 3406 with the right marine engine parts... And not use any more fuel.
 
The 3 bundles we often did on a single story, two on a second story. A farmer carried three up on his single story house roof, and after he started up, I said...next guy down bring the red tool box up....he backed down, and got the tool box on the same trip up. We had a little talk right then and there. Not a cute blond in sight, and 240# of Globe shingles, the tool box, and his 240# rear end on my 300# rated ladder. As a foot note, about four years later, he got the silo gas thing and after three months in the hospital, then home....he wanted to make breakfast for something to do...his boys had to open the refrigerator for him, but he could shut it by himself. He is now as strong as a oxe 7 years later , with only slight side issues. So now it seems ...I had to beat your story...And this aint no bull.
 
Da rain was so spooooty this year, I had a double barrel 12 guage sitting on the steps a leading to the house. One side the rain water ran over filling the one side, and the other side. Not even one drop. A story I heard at Mt Plesant, Old Reunion. I may, or may not be telling the truth.
 
I was burning a pile of brush one day and threw a bunch of weeds on that I had pulled out of the garden. It was late afternoon and the air was kinda heavy and the smoke drifted down into the hollow. A few weeks later those weeds came up thicker'n hair on a dogs back where the smoke had settled.
And if you believe that, I have some waterfront property in Death Valley that I will sell real cheap.
 
A friend in southern Ohio was a great Canada Goose caller. He used his throat only, no call. One early fall day he called 15 geese in a flight over his blind and shot three. (the plug was in his pump)
The only issue was that one of them was a Decoy. Jim
 
Some guys just don't know their own strength. Many years ago there was a guy here that could straddle his full dress Harley Davidson and pick it up off the ground. Strong as a bull...died of a heart attack before he was 50.
 
talking about a bad drought,,,Had a feller tell me the river in his town was so dry ,the catfish had fleas.
 
(quoted from post at 23:04:27 02/25/13) No one ever accused me of being a rocket scientist. Take that as you may. At times, I may have tried my mothers nerves and patience. On those occasions, she would loose it and say, "Your father must have cheated with the milklady, because there aint no way you could be mine".

Mark
Click to expand...

By chance.. Was your mother blonde? I heard that a blonde was pregnant and asked the doctor if the baby was hers. :lol:
 
I have a book titled "The Ben Lilly Legend" by the old western writer J. Frank Dobie. Lilly was a bear and mountain lion hunter in the late 1800s and early 1900s. He started out here in north Louisiana and over the years migrated to Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Colorado, always hunting bears and lions. He lived in the wild 24-7-365.

Dobie said in his book that Lilly was reputed to be able to grasp an anvil horn with one hand and raise the anvil at arm's length. He was also said to be able to jump out of a barrel, among many other feats.
 
it was so hot here last summer, as I stood by the barn I heard "clink' 'clink' clink'. It was a log chain crawling into the shade.
 
So hot here in South Carolina one summer a farmer was plowing pop corn with his mule... the pop corn started popping and the mule thought it was snowing and froze to death...
 
Speaking of geese and dry spells,bunch of geese got froze to the surface of our lake during the cold spell of 1951. Lazy neighbor that couldn't hit a barn if he was inside it went down to shoot a helpless goose. When he commence shooting the geese flew off with the lake. Come summer we was in bad shape for water since our lake figurtivly and literally went South and no rain since. Well while we were carrying water from the next town in 5 gallon buckets,two in each hand plus one ballanced atop our head,the dad frazled prairie dogs were digging holes in the dry lake bed. The water shortage coupled with drought killed off a lot of livestock and wildlife but the prairie dogs were multiplying and staying fat on vegitation in the rich lake bed. Don't laugh,you would eat them little dogs to if you were hungery enough. The lazy neighbors wife kicked him out and he was camped down by the lake mooching dogs off people who felt sorry for him. One afternoon he built his cook fire to close to the overgrown lake and caught it on fire. All we could do was watch it burn since there was no water. When the smoke cleared and the dogs surfaced to find all the grass gone they moved out leaving us to make do with eating tumble weeds til it finally rained. Man,when it finally started raining it was falling by buckets,not 5 gallons worth but by grannys it was at least half gallon size drops. Everybody brought out what little they each had hidden away and throwed a party to end all parties. One old couple was so overcome with joy at the prospects of a bath they ran through town wearing nothing but two big smiles.
It raied like that for more than a week solid then stopped quick as it started. The public works guys rushed over to get the treatment plant back in operation and the rest of us ran down for a swim and admire our beautyful ,,,,,,,,,,,,,dry lake. What the #*&^%!@ ???? Every drop of the rain had run down those dog holes and disappeared. That was the end of the once thriving little town of Bugtussle. To this day that lake will not hold water. The only one still there is the lazy lieing man who started it with his shotgun. He charges tourist a dollar per head to drive by and look at the meteorite crater. Now days if you should meet someone on the road running by where the town once stood,you know by the tear on their cheek,they miss their little home town.
[b:a4ec9ca6ce]Yall! Are you asleep?[/b:a4ec9ca6ce]
 
We had a young guy work for us...he said he had 2 DADDYS AND ONLY ONE MUM! Figure that out?
We also had a real fast cow ...it run so hard around the haystack one day that it sh!t in it's own face.
We have terrible trouble with thistles, they have real long roots. Guy beside us was digging a well. when he got to 70 feet he finally found the last bit of root.
We put an electric light in with our hens at night....next morning we couldn't get the door opened they had all laid so many eggs!
Sam
 
This ain"t no bull chit! Neighbor was building a new barn, it was really foggy the morning they put the roof on, when the fog cleared they had roofed over 10' beyond the end of the barn.
 
Probably the biggest one Ive heard had to be on here. Guy pulles a JD out of the mud, completely covered in mud, except for a small part of the air cleaner. After spening a week digging it out, he pressure wahsed it and accidentally discovered it wasnt locked up. After more cleaning, he poured some gas in it, tugged on the flywheel and it started on the the first tug!
 
When I was a kid one summer,I caught a catfish,felt sorry for it,and couldn't kill it'
I made a pet of him ,even taught him to walk with me.
School started back,he followed me to school,he
d been out of water so long that when we crossed the bridge,fell thru a crack to the water,and drowned,boy I missed him.!!!!!
 
i heard one about a man named sam that could stop a john deere tractor by squeezing the flywheel.....LOL
 
My Dad has told the story about a neighbor that would come over be buy eggs. His hands were so BIG that he could hold a dozen eggs in 1 hand & still drive the model A back home.
 
I stood on the front porch of my house in Houston a coon's age ago and watched it rain on the other side of the street. Not one drop fell in my yard.
 
Worked nights in a freezer warehouse for a summer as a young fella between haying. I wasn't a big fella but I could carry my weight in bagged potatoes, 3 sacks. There was a big fella there that would carry 4 sacks but you had to load the 3rd and 4th on him.

My back hurt every day the first 3 weeks.
 
I was sitting in the Little House Resturant in Mansfield Missouri on time amd an old guy claimed hae had a cow that was down for 6 months. Said he carried feed and water to her the whole time and she finally got up. His wife was right there and backed him up on it.
 
I've been surprised at how windy it is in the midwest (and not just on this board!). Here in the temperate Pacific Northwest, the wind doesn't blow much at all. The place where I grew up had two windmills, and we finally had to take one of them down, because there just wasn't enough wind for both.
 
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