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O/T Sorting Parents Personal Stuff

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Fergienewbee

Well-known Member
My sister and I started the task of cleaning out my folk's house. Mom passed in 2005, Dad in December. It was interesting and sad at the same time. We felt like we were invading their home. Mom was very sentimental and saved everything. We found letters I wrote to Dad when he was at summer camp and I still played in the sand box. Old post cards from Ft. Leonard Wood, my grandpa's straight razors--I think--pictures of my Uncle George who died at 14 in a logging accident, and other mementos. Dad had a bunch of belts. I brought home at least 10 or 12, a dozen new shirts still in the package, a couple of pairs of dress shoes, hunting sox, ties, and three jackets. Dad had a few cowboy shirts--didn't fit me--and several slacks. We cleaned two closets and a dresser. Still lots to go. It was nice to spend time with my sister just reminescing.

Larry
 
I know what you mean. I still have some of my Dads stuff, my Moms stuff and my grandparents stuff. Touching it brings back a lot of memories. The sound of someone opening a Zippo and closing it takes me back to being with Dad who was a heavy smoker.

Cherish the good memories friend, it's all we have sometimes.
 
Tough Task... I had to do it 12 years ago.. Makes a guy shed a few tears, at times, some sad, but some for the good times remembered.. There were some days that I had to quit, and go work outside.
 
I was at my parents house for the weekend and Mom asked me to go through some clothes of dads that he will never wear again got several nice shirts and a brand new Carhartt jacket that I am pretty sure we gave him.
When My first wife died my sister and SIL came and cleaned out her clothes. I don't think I could have done it myself.
Ron
 
Ive been fortunate so far that I havent had to do that. Dad dies in 99, and most of our family items were already in my possession, or my brothers. Most of the items in the house were my stepmothers, and she didnt want to stay in the house without Dad, so she moved. I did help with my grandparents house, but I got very little, just some odds and ends and her deep freezer, still full of food! Mom doesnt have much in the way of material things, so there wont be much for us to do, my stepfather will probably deal with her clothes and stuff. In fact, shes been on me to come get some thing from her that she wants us to have.
 
I did that when my Dad died. Mom and my brother went to my sister's for a couple days while I sorted things for them. I was executor so I needed to go through the paperwork anyway. My brother's wife did that job after Mom passed.
 
I've told my wife many times we need to get rid of a lot of items while we're still able. I told her we can get a free dumpster from the town. The basement and closets are packed full.
You accumulate a lot of stuff being married 60 years and living in the same house 45 years. Hal
 
You're right. It can be tough. But, you can learn a lot about who they were by what they kept. Your Mom wanted to keep your letters. My wife's mother kept some of her mother's clothes. Also, there was a dresser that was all "Mama's". Still had her hair brush, hand mirror, trinkets, just like she left them, 25 years earlier.
 
I sure don't want that job. Dad gave me everything he wanted me to have before he passed away. His Grandad's pistol and some old toys.
My brother will be administrator of my mother's estate when she passes away. I'm sure he'll have a lot of help when the time comes. Got two sisters,another brother and a sister in law that I'm sure will have their hands right in there making sure they get their share. I'd just as soon remember things the way they were and not have to sort through it all remembering. I want somebody who wants the stuff to have it,but if I don't know it's there,I'm good with never seeing any of it again.
I've already told him that if there's anything of value left when it's all over,just send me a check for my share when he's done.
 
i feel for you ,done it for parents,grandparents,one uncle,two aunts,and two cousins.over the years ive sort of become the family history person. i have pictures of kinfolk i havent even seen in sixty years.but theres some interesting stuff also. when i cleaned out my uncles place ,i hauled it home,laid it all out on a trailer and the ground and called all the folks in the family i could to come take what they wanted. Went pretty smooth,most folks had their own memories of him , picked out something special to them,and there wasnt any arguing about this and that.went through years and years of paperwork,and shredded things that was personal. talk about keeping papers,i actually found the reciept for the first set of tires he bought for his first car!LOL
 
When my grandfather passed his daughter, my aunt, was cleaning out the house. She called in tears saying if we wanted anything from the house to get up there right away as her brother and his kids were taking anything they could get there hands on. It was a two hr. drive but we jumped in the car early the next morning and my aunt had put back some antique stuff that they had used in the early years but had put away. Granddad had a fully stocked bar room, tons of tools and a few guns, never got any of those. But he had given my Dad, his son, the old Mossberg 16 ga. double barrel. Dad later gave it to me. That's probably the one thing I really valued, they always described it as the "turkey shoot gun", guess they had good luck with it at those events.

When my mom's sister died there were no arguments, she left all the furniture and contents to Mom and then she decided who got what. Mom kept the $30,000 pearl necklace! I'm betting my greedy, grabbing sister will snatch that when she passes.
 
It can be a tough task, but it can also bring up some good memories.

Dad passed unexpectedly. He didn't have much in the way of personal stuff and that part wasn't too bad as the whole family was involved. He left me all his tools and business related stuff. My accountant told me to catalog it. Knowing how hard he worked to acquire what he had made cataloging everything a tough task.
That wasn't nearly as tough as going through my son's stuff when he passed at 15. We gave most of his stuff to our other son. Some went to one of his cousins, some to his friends, and some to his girl friend. I boxed up a bunch of stuff as I couldn't bring myself to dispose of it.

I have allot of stuff. My wife and remaining son give me a hard time about it. I just say "just think, someday it will be all yours". My son just says "I'll be calling an auctioneer". I've given him instructions on what to do with a few specific items. I suspect he'll keep many of my tools and turn what he doesn't need into cash. That's fine with me.
 
I know what your going through. I had three grandparents and a sister all die within 2 years of each other. My mom had a hard time letting go. That meant everything from all those other households was stuffed in my parents basement and pole barn.

Finally, my other sister and I said "its time". I really think my mom was waiting for us to tell her that. Then she wouldnt feel bad making the decision.
We gathered the entire family. Everybody took a few sentimental things. Three nieces and nephews got entire kitchen sets for their houses, place settings and the table and chairs. Saved them a lot of money furnishing houses. Couches, chairs, bedroom sets etc. Day 2 called Savation Army, filled their first cube van to the brim.

Its hard no doubt, its like reading the last chapter and knowing you can never open that book again. So take your time, enjoy sifting through the belongings, keeping what you want, then do what you need with the rest.

Sorry for your loss.
Rick
 
Sorry for you loss. Went through the same thing with my folks 10 years ago and 5 years latter with my sister. I know its hard to get rid of their belongings. Just keep thinking of the good times you had. You will never forget them and the pain will subside with time.
 
Sorry for your loss. I got the chance to do that a few years ago. Mom passed in March and Dad passed 4 weeks to the day later. Parents had told all of us kids that we were to get back anything we had given them. Then all of us got together and we went through what was left. Dad farmed many years ago and then worked as a carpenter. I worked with him for a lot of years as did some of my brothers. When it came to tools since I still do carpentry work they would ask me if I wanted different nail guns and saws etc. O told them no that I already had my own. I got various things that I wanted but not that many, except the one that brought me to this site. Dad had a MF50 high arch that was not currently running. Oldest brother already had a farmall super c and a farmall m with a farmhand loader on it so he didn't want it. Second and third brothers didn't want it so I got it. It was one of the few things that I did want.
All in all everything went off in a peaceful manner and I think no feelings were hurt and no contention felt so that was good.

Steven
 
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