New Bull

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

The first bull says, "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't' givin' him any of mine."

The second bull says, "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS."

The third bull says, "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows."

They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.

The first bull says, "Ahem...You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend."

The second bull says, "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."

They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.

The first bull says, "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."

The third bull says, "Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'M a bull!"

Guess I'll be you tubin Jerry Clower all day now :roll: Thanks for the laugh..

Neighbor bought a semi load of open heifers and a young bull and an older bullgrom different sellers. The two bulls were up on the hill above the pasture watching the heifers unload the young bull said, "Lets run down and serve a heifer" the old bull said,"lets just walk down and serve them all"

Farmer had a few milking goats, one day his son was off school and he noticed the oldest goat was ready for the buck, So he asked the young lad if he would take her up to a neighbours buck about a mile away. The young lad was only too keen to do it. "But" the father said "look out for the nosey neighbour next to us, he will want to know what you are up to, try to get past without him seeing you" So the young lad haltered the goat and led it down the road, He saw the nosey neighbour was at the top of the field and quickly got past his farm without meeting him. Got to the buck goat and got the job done and headed home...This time the nosey neighbour was waiting for him, and remembering his father did not want the neighbour to know their business he tried to slip past. The neighbour was having none of it and asked " your goat looking away?" The young lad muttered "aye"..... Where did you get her served then?" The lad just turned the goat round, lifted her tail and said...."in there!"

12 year old kid is home alone on the farm one afternoon, when the neighbor drives up. Neighbor asks, "Your folks home?"

"No, they went to town."

"How about your brother Howard?"

"No, he went with them. Is there something I can help you with? I know where most of the tools are, if you need to borrow something."

"Actually, I guess I need to talk to your folks. About your brother getting my daughter Suzy pregnant."

"Yeah, well, I guess I can't help you with that. I know Dad charges 50 dollars for the bull, and 20 for the boar, but I don't know what he gets for Howard."

Don't know if this story was true or not,but it was told about several local women.
A guy needed a cow bred,called a neighbor who did AI to come over and do the job. He had to go to town,but told his wife that if the neighbor came to breed the cow,it was the one with the nail above the stanchion. So,as luck would have it,the neighbor showed up while the guy was gone. The wife took him to the barn and said it's the cow with the nail above the stanchion. The neighbor kind of jokingly asked her what the nail was for. She said "to hang your pants on I guess".

Four young bulls were standing around discussing what they wanted to do when they grew up.

The first said he wanted to go to New York City and be a bull on Wall Street.

The second said he wanted to go to Boston and be a bull in a china shop.

The third said he wanted to go to Rome and be Papal bull.

The fourth said he figured on staying right there in the pasture for heifer and heifer and heifer.

And then there's the true story, about my dad's city sister, my Aunt Grace. Dad said he was going to look at a Milking Shorthorn bull. Aunt Grace got a troubled look on her face, and said, "But Ray, how can that be?"

Sam was late to school and explined that he had to take the milk cow to Mr Brown's bull down the road. The teacher asked why his dad didn't take care of the cow so Sam could concentrate on getting an education. After thinking on it a few secounds,Sam replied,I suppose dad just thought Mr Brown's bull was the better choice.

true story , while i was baling a neighbors hay he stoped me and asked me to help him load a really huge bore hog that he had reacently bought, no proplem i said, wrong, 1 hour later we finally got him up the shute and in the truck,he hauled the bore several miles to service sum sows, couple weaks laater i was ask again to help in loading,this time it took only 15 min, again to breed some sows. by the 4th trip he was loading by his self ,for several yrs every time the man started that old loud truck tyat bore would go get in that shute and wait till it got out of site. ps i can spell i just cant type lol tom

Dave and Mabel were driving in the Country, on passing Brown"s property they noticed a Bull doing his duty.
"Oh, Mabel," says Dave "Can I do that?"
"Don't know Dave." says Mabel "It's Brown's cow."

Then there's the one about the two bulls, a big one and a small one, walking down the road. The big bull walked just a short distance and started eating grass. The little bull just kept walking.... up the hills and down the hills and over the plain. The moral of the story is; A little bull goes a long way!