Guys we did nothing special for our friend!!!

I have seen some postings about my friend that just passed away. I just want everyone to know that we all where just poor to maybe less poor people around here when I was growing up. What my wife and I did was nothing special. The people around here just shared what they had if they could.

My first wife and I got married when we where both just sixteen. I got a job at a feed mill for after school and weekends. My wife took over the chickens and cream separating for my Grand Parents. She got a percentage of the money when they sold the cream and eggs.

We lived in a small building that had been fixed up for my Great Grand father to live in beside my Grand Father's house. It was just 12 x 14 with a wood stove for heat. We had a double bed and two stuffed chairs to set in an read. Plus a small table to study on.. You walked to the outhouse to use the bathroom. We shared meals/costs and kitchen duties with my Grand Parents. We showered and did our cloths washing in their basement. So we we where poor but our cost of living was real low. So we had a little extra even after saving most of our money.

The brooch cost maybe $10. I was making that in two days after school bagging feed. So it was not a big deal. The dress cost a little more but it was not as much as my wife made in a week with the cream and eggs. So it was not a hardship on us in anyway. I can't remember what we where making exactly but it was around $50 total each week. That was good for 1967. Many men worked full time and did not make much better then.

We just wanted our best friend to go the our Senior Prom with us. Nothing more or less than that. My wife arranging a date for her was just more of the same. We loved to dance. We wanted her to have someone to dance with while we had a good time too.

Our friend more than repaid us when my wife was fighting cancer. Without her help we would had a much harder time taking care of our kids and house. What she did then was way more valuable than a cheap brooch and dress. Helping take care of a person that is dying and sick is way harder than anything we ever did for her.

I did not post for me. I wanted people to Know that a special person just passed on. I am just a common old country folk type of guy. Nothing special about me at all. Many have done what I have done and most of them probably did it better.

So make sure your friends are not in need and pray for those that you are unable to help. That is all any of us can do. Help those that really have a need when you can. That is what makes this a great nation.

JD,you 'guys' did all these things because you all loved each other.That is all.And that is all that matters......God bless us all with that kind of love

Over the years I have found that people that are "nothing special" are the best friends and neighbors.

JD- I've made multiple attempts to respond to your current post- all of them are pathetic. Bottom line- some day I would like to meet you- you are one very impressive person!

I agree.

What JMS/MN said!

I read the posts every day when I have time and think we need more people in this country like JDSeller. I think I need to load up my tractors and head to Iowa for repairs, if/when they need something I can't handle.

At least I know I'd be treated right!

Sure would like to meet you some day,I read all your posts,this might sound crazy but I think a good book could be written of your life,I mean that seriously,

Webester dictionary is a good source of every english word.

J D seller, has the intellect to arrange the words.
in a form, to attract the attention, and explain his story.
I personally can relate to these writings,
Every man dances to the music of his time.
And J D you have done a good thing.

The type of behavior and acts of kindness you describe is just how we were raised and how we treated each other, especially our neighbors. I agree with you totally IT WAS NOTHING SPECIAL, at least not in my generation or small town and rural America. If others were more like that I think it would be a better country versus relying on big brother government to provide "entitlements"

God bless yall

John T Christian Conservative Patriot

JD, in this modern word of 'me first' attitude amongst our young, and sometimes the not-so-young members of our society it's refreshing and heartwarming to hear a story portraying the selflessness and maturity of a young teenage couple. You and your bride were concerned about the self esteem of your friend at an age where most people are only concerned about their own self image.

Reminds me of when my son was married. His bride's sister has downs syndrome and shows all of the characteristics of downs. Son's bride chose her downs sister as her bridesmaid. This young lady who was dealt a bad card in life and was certainly no beauty queen in most people's eyes was the happiest girl in the world when she stood up there in her pretty dress and fancy hairdo. She had this big wide grin the whole night. That night she slept in that dress, her mother conldn't get her to take it off. Some acts of kindness last a lifetime and are a good example of christianity. Jim

Well - I am a softy - I read your first post, but I couldn't respond because I couldn't see thru the tears to type.

It reminds me:

Wife and I married right out of high school. Our circle of friends were country kids, and one of the guys that we knew was real shy. He asked me how to approach a sweet farm gal that lived a few ridges over from him. She was a girl you couldn't help but love, but she'd lost her Mom in the eighth grade, and she seemed to be devoted to helping her Dad around the farm. I told him "Faint heart never won fair maiden", so he sent her a card. No response. He sent another card - then another, and so on. This guy was painfully shy. One day he went to the mailbox, and there was his last card marked "Return to sender". Broke his heart. As time went on, he eventually found a gal and got married, but the sweet farm gal stayed at home helping her Dad. About 25 years later, I got a call from the local undertaker, asking me if I'd be a pallbearer for this sweet lady. She'd died - still single. I told him I would. When I got to the funeral home, there was this shy friend there to be a pallbearer also. Her brother told us that she had given him a list of people that she wanted for her pallbearers, and this shy failed suiter was at the top of her list. Looking back, maybe she was even more shy than he was. She would have know that this was her last chance to reply to him.

It was after I got out of the Air Force, I had said to my mother, " The more I do for others, The more they do for me, and the more they do for me, the easier life gets." Her reply was a very complicated YES. You don't realize how much you do for others because it just comes so naturally. But you get it. The better you make things for others the better your life becomes also.
SDE

JD Seller,
I know you and I don't know each other, but I read your postings all the time no matter what subject it may be. You are truly an amazing man in my eyes. I am about the age of your oldest son. I am 44. I just wish I would have had someone in my life with all your credentials. To me you are a great teacher at many things even though you probably don't think so. I wished my dad would have had your skills. Just the way you write about things that are on your mind is simple common sense, but most people don't even have a lick of that today. Thank you for the many many words of advice on every subject you have responded on. Especially the latest one about your friend. This one would make any man tear up and think twice about the simpler things in life that mean the most. Thank you again. I hope you are doing well after the loss of your dear friend. My deepest sympathies to you.
Kow Farmer (Kurt)

JDSeller,
I too cried yesterday-twice-once reading it, then again as I told my wife! Your thinking you did nothing special is what makes you a man of character! You may have done a 'small' thing, but it made a real difference in her life! Thank you for doing that, and sharing it to remind us that the little things do make a difference!

You're right, Larry. The story about the Vietnamese girls by itself would make a great Hallmark movie.

JD, as others have well said, thanks for your uplifting words and care for a long known friend. May I recommend that you and others hunt for a little book "When Grief Breaks Your Heart" by James W. Moore, Abingdon Press, ISBN 0-687-00791-7. I usually find copies at a Cokesbury bookstore, but I"m sure it can be ordered online as well. James Moore is a United Methodist pastor and wrote the booklet out of the experience of his own mother"s accidental death. From the back of the book: Grief is a natural part of life, yet no one is ever completely prepared to deal with it. The experiences of heartache, pain, disappointment, and loss can leave even the strongest of us devastated and searching for an anchor-for shelter from these storms of life.