Our 17yr old son has a bedroom in our basement. This morning he came up and got a bucket of ice out of the freezer. I asked him what he was doing with the ice. I need it for my soda, he told me. Well after he left for school I hobbled down the 14 steps on my crutches and took a look. I knew something was fishy by the way he acted. Well I found a cooler with 22 Bud Light Beers in it. When he came home I had him put them in the garage refrigerator and told them they were mine now. He was mad and left for a while. I never told my wife. I would rather it be beer than something else like drugs. What would you of done if it were your son?
- Thread starter John B.
- Start date
Kow Farmer
Well-known Member
You did the right thing. The best thing you can do is try to explain why you did what you did. Hopefully he will listen and understand your concerns for his and other people's well being. I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully someday he will thank you for it.
Kow Farmer
Kow Farmer
David R Inman
Member
I'm only 19, and you guys may not believe it, but is the truth, I've never had any alcohol.
At any rate, if my parents were to have found such, I would not be aloud to leave. And who knows what else (driving, phone, internet, etc) I would not be aloud to do for a month or two.
So, personally I'd say your letting him off TOO easy!
At any rate, if my parents were to have found such, I would not be aloud to leave. And who knows what else (driving, phone, internet, etc) I would not be aloud to do for a month or two.
So, personally I'd say your letting him off TOO easy!
Well depends what state you live in if it is illegal or not. In Wisconsin you can drink in a bar with your parent until you are 18. Once you are 18 you are no longer a minor and cannot drink with em. Course this is also up to the owner of the bar. As for me I think beer tasted better when I was 17.
I think you did the right thing, someday when it all comes around he will think back and smile and then steel his kids beer.
I think you did the right thing, someday when it all comes around he will think back and smile and then steel his kids beer.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Prolly beat him within an inch of his life for lying... Then make him drink enough of them to get feeling real nasty, let him drink a little cooking oil and raw eggs, then do a little PT and maybe go for a little ride around the pasture stopping for grasshoppers as they jump up..... When it got to him enough to puke, give him a bucket. Then let him have a swig or two of the product and wash his face in it..........
I got a pretty low tolerance for lyers and sneaks tho.....
JOHNNYfromMI
Member
Well you got to admit, he chose Bud Light that means he has a taste for good beer.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
:roll:
danmcdonald
Member
I have a 17yo son also you did the right thing but you two need to talk.
I let my kids have a beer or 2 at home once in a while while they were under the legal drinking age (it was legal if I gave it to them at home). They have all come back to me sense they have turned 21 and told me I ruined thier party life while under age because having a beer was no big deal.
I would have chewed him out for lying.....over a beer.
Rick
I would have chewed him out for lying.....over a beer.
Rick
My dad found a six pack of Bud in my car when I was 18. He made me sit down and drink all six as he watched, and then we unloaded a couple of loads of hay. Never put myself in that position again. I was sicker than a dog that evening. Sweated it out all afternoon, barfed it out all evening. He never found any more. And I may put one or two down now and again, but I learned not to guzzle it like that.....
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
I would tell him this a warning and next time consequences will be more severe.
old
Well-known Member
- Location
- Camdenton Missouri
First off where did he get it from. 2nd if he where to only drink at home and NOT leave when he did that is sure better then drinking and driving. Over in places like England etc it is common to see children drinking but that is there. No matter what it is hard to know which way to go on this type of thing because if you try to stop him at home he may drink out side of home and end up drinking and driving but if you do not stop him then there can be other problems. Hard to know which way to go and with out a lot more info real hard to know.
Well I reckon you did pretty good...BUT had it been me I would have told my wife. She was a lot meaner than I was, poor kid would have gone through he11 for a while.
Thank goodness we never had any trouble with our two boys, or at least we never caught them. Sure miss them both, but at least the come back to visit a few times a year! Oh, and they buy their own beer and always share it with their Dad.....me!
Thank goodness we never had any trouble with our two boys, or at least we never caught them. Sure miss them both, but at least the come back to visit a few times a year! Oh, and they buy their own beer and always share it with their Dad.....me!
Rusty wheel
Well-known Member
I think I would have offered him a beer when he came home from school and then asked him why he lied about having it. The lying is the worst part. If he feels he's old enough to drink he's old enough to man up about it. Make sure he understands if he's gonna drink, he must do it at home and not out on the street some where. Good luck.
jon f mn
Well-known Member
My kids are all adults now. As I read this the only thing I thought you were missing was to ask why he had it and what his plans for it were. The answer to those questions would give you a pretty good idea whether it was a harmless experiment or something much worse. Pretty hard to keep all alcohol out of their lives these days.
Steve A W
Member
- Location
- Northwest Indiana
I would of removed the beer and replaced it with soda, Then wait for Him to say something!
When I was growing up ,My folks always said We could drink with them at home.
None of Us five kids ever got in trouble with drinking.
Then there was Dad's warning that if I ever landed in Jail not to call Him!
Steve A W
When I was growing up ,My folks always said We could drink with them at home.
None of Us five kids ever got in trouble with drinking.
Then there was Dad's warning that if I ever landed in Jail not to call Him!
Steve A W
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
I woulda Kicked his Ace fer Drinkin Shiite Beer! Bud is made from Rice, cause they cant Mass produce it with proper ingredients. Its The Macdonald's of beers and people and especially young Kids are too stupid to realize it. Bud spends its money on advertizing that targets College age kids, They hang around universities and sponser concerts and nnalert-oriented parties. There marketing model is brilliant-- Their ethics and motives suck as bad as the swill they Pimp.
Farmall Nut
Member
Do you drink? Apparently so cause you said it's yours now.
It's tuff age 17. Probably the best thing is to show him some love and have a conversation with him. He lied because he felt that you would not approve but yet he was willing to lie to get what he wanted. Like I said, its a tuff age. Its one of those situations where if you don't handle it right he could rebel. Best of luck with it.
It's tuff age 17. Probably the best thing is to show him some love and have a conversation with him. He lied because he felt that you would not approve but yet he was willing to lie to get what he wanted. Like I said, its a tuff age. Its one of those situations where if you don't handle it right he could rebel. Best of luck with it.
Lou from Wi.
Well-known Member
Dave, Your full of it.No wonder your kids love you and your people skills???????Trying to be a BTO is an easy thing to see through.Can"t fool all the people all the time. Your an easy read when it comes to your imaginary he man chit. Good thing none of you siblings live with you,cause you would be another statistic when it comes to murdering parents.Kids remit in kind. Love and kindness seems to be the answer.with some exceptions. People skills---PHOOIE /
LOU.
LOU.
Billy Shafer
Well-known Member
My dad caught me with a six pack and a pack of smokes. I was fifteen. Made me drink and smoke at the same time. I was sick all day and night. Found out what a hang over was like. Don't smoke to this day. Didn't touch a beer until I was in the Navy at 19.
farmer boy
Well-known Member
I feel like I'm being way too abundant on this, but, if you didn't know he drank the beer(obviously not drunk), and he was drinking it in the house, it's a heck of alot better than what he could have been doing(drugs, going too far with girls, drunk driving, etc.) Backwards as it may seem, a little leinency may be a good thing, tell him he can have a beer with you around(if you and your wife are okay with that), but let him know that if you ever catch him lying to you again, well, let his imagination go to work for him. He's only going to learn to be a better liar/hide thigs better if you run the place like a dictatorship with absolutely no give. It is your house, and you can run it as you see fit, just think about the consequences though. In a perfect world, you could tell him not to drink, and he wouldn't, but it ain't so.
I'm 23 and when I was in high school my parents had a very simple conversation with me. They were laid back about it all, told me they knew I was going to drink, to never drive, and to call them if I ever need a ride. This gave me some responsibility to use my judgement, ie. if I had been drinking to call them and the severity of my "drunkness" would decide my consequences. Its taught me to this day to be responsible with alcohol. I don't drink beer a whole lot and I did some in high school but never a ton. Just my 2 cents.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
If he's not legal age, how did he get it and/or who bought it for him? Did he have a fake ID or something? They require picture ID here to even buy smokes if think you might be under 25, it's the law. With 22 he wasn't planning to drink it all by himself... Best thing you can do is get him to come clean about everything. Be aware it's unlikely it's his first time drinking. Maybe someone put him up to it or it was his turn to buy?
For some reason that I never figured out, peers are more important to most kids than their parent's advice.
I often told our kids that if they didn't have enough trouble coming to them in their lives, all they had to do was to do something stupid - and bring a whole lot of trouble crashing down on them!
Son went out one night with another guy who got drunk and had Son drive to get home. Son claimed that the accelerator stuck and he banged into a wall and his friend said that he'd have to pay $800 for the damages to his car. Son called home and told us what the guy was demanding. I told son: "Well, at least you know what it is going to cost you." and hung up the phone. I never heard anymore about that - but he never did that again either!
I often told our kids that if they didn't have enough trouble coming to them in their lives, all they had to do was to do something stupid - and bring a whole lot of trouble crashing down on them!
Son went out one night with another guy who got drunk and had Son drive to get home. Son claimed that the accelerator stuck and he banged into a wall and his friend said that he'd have to pay $800 for the damages to his car. Son called home and told us what the guy was demanding. I told son: "Well, at least you know what it is going to cost you." and hung up the phone. I never heard anymore about that - but he never did that again either!
MarkB_MI
Well-known Member
- Location
- Motown USA
I would have told him to buy me better beer next time. Bud Light? Blech!
well he is finding his limits and learning how stuff works. you know he will have some beers sometime in the future so tell him if you are in a position where you are either driving or riding with someone that has been drinking to call you for a ride and you wont talk about it untill the morning. I dont know why but the not talking about it till morning helps,because the kid knows he wont catch it rightaway,and it gives you some time to cool down too.
My friends do the same for eachother if one of our group gets ploughed we know we can get a ride we call it "the witless relocation program"
I have gotten a call in the middle of the night "come get me im toast" but its better than the other calls you could get
My friends do the same for eachother if one of our group gets ploughed we know we can get a ride we call it "the witless relocation program"
I have gotten a call in the middle of the night "come get me im toast" but its better than the other calls you could get
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Wanna talk with the youngest stepson and 3 of his buddies????
They found out that bailey's, beer, wine, and schnaps don't go well with their Dad's homemade sober up cocktails and the heat of the fire they had blazing away and the pile of firewood they hadda move so they could clean up around it...... I'm all for love and kindness, just at the right time and situation. Shoot Lou, I'd even treat you with love and kindness if you'd give me the chance and get over your hurt feelings which I had no intention of causing in the first place. Now, behave yourself and stop picking on me before you make me cry......
Have a good day.
First it's beer, then it's pot and then it's oxy or something else. Nip it in the bud- now. I strongly suggest you search his room thoroughly. Chances are you'll find more than just beer. Don't for a moment believe "My kid would never do that.", he will. Don't do like i did and try to reason with him and try to be nice about it. Don;t worry about his feelings and self esteem. Kick him in the crotch, beat him senseless if you have to, but put a stop to it now if you love him. I have a 23 year old drug addict for a son, I don;t want you to go through the same thing. Stop it NOW!
ask him if he is doing anything other than drinking beer and then get him drug tested. He's under 18 so you still have the right. If he is positive come down on him hard. Send him to military school if you have to.
My ex-wife became a drug addict after the progression from beer and pot in high school to recreational drugs in college to the opium based pills (pain killers) after college.
Some people are able to stop using when the time is right and some people aren't able - my-ex. Her life is ruined now. Two tips to the pen, multiple felonies, no future at all. Lives at home with her parents now, 42 years old.
Find out what he is doing and take care of it
My ex-wife became a drug addict after the progression from beer and pot in high school to recreational drugs in college to the opium based pills (pain killers) after college.
Some people are able to stop using when the time is right and some people aren't able - my-ex. Her life is ruined now. Two tips to the pen, multiple felonies, no future at all. Lives at home with her parents now, 42 years old.
Find out what he is doing and take care of it
My dad would look inside my car and two older brothers cars when we were in our teens, if any beer was found he removed it along with the coolers. The best way to handle this was not say anything about it and just get another cheap cooler. Dad had a couple of storage buildings out back and both had padlocks on the door. When dad died we unlocked the buildings and one had ice chest lining both side walls and the back walls from floor to ceiling and most had beer cans still in'em but no beer. Dad didn't drink.
Obviously you need to have a conversation leading to an understanding about alcohol, lying and so on. As a parent you also have a liability knowing he's got a stash of beer.
What we here on this forum don't know is the personality of your son. When it comes to drugs, alcohol, everyone is different, you have to get inside his head a little. Some people fall into the trap, just want to use alcohol as an intoxicant frequently, others maybe its being a weekend warrior party type etc. In that situation if you have a concern or just don't know, you have to take action and make sure he's not going to get involved with it that way.
On the other hand, if he's say like me, I learned all about these things, on my owne, though a small quantity of beer or wine was acceptable when I was a kid, we found ways to get alcohol and get "snockered" a few times early on in life. I found really don't like being intoxicated, like at his age, also found I had a pretty good tolerance if I did have a few, meaning you'd have to slug a keg through me to have some serious effect. Problem is everyone is different. By the time I was his age, I could get beer, and kept some in the refrigerator, just like I do now, so when the work is done, the day is done and I want a cold one with dinner or to relax, I can. Parents, knew I was not an excessive consumer of alcohol, did not like distilled, hard liquor, just a cold beer when appropriate, they knew and trusted that in me, nothing was ever said about a six pack of a quality or tasty beer in the fridge, where I got it, it just was never a problem, same way it is today, at 45, thats just me, some are like me, many are not, and the latter would highly concern me, I'd be all over him, with a plan to deal with it if you have the remotest concern about abuse.
What we here on this forum don't know is the personality of your son. When it comes to drugs, alcohol, everyone is different, you have to get inside his head a little. Some people fall into the trap, just want to use alcohol as an intoxicant frequently, others maybe its being a weekend warrior party type etc. In that situation if you have a concern or just don't know, you have to take action and make sure he's not going to get involved with it that way.
On the other hand, if he's say like me, I learned all about these things, on my owne, though a small quantity of beer or wine was acceptable when I was a kid, we found ways to get alcohol and get "snockered" a few times early on in life. I found really don't like being intoxicated, like at his age, also found I had a pretty good tolerance if I did have a few, meaning you'd have to slug a keg through me to have some serious effect. Problem is everyone is different. By the time I was his age, I could get beer, and kept some in the refrigerator, just like I do now, so when the work is done, the day is done and I want a cold one with dinner or to relax, I can. Parents, knew I was not an excessive consumer of alcohol, did not like distilled, hard liquor, just a cold beer when appropriate, they knew and trusted that in me, nothing was ever said about a six pack of a quality or tasty beer in the fridge, where I got it, it just was never a problem, same way it is today, at 45, thats just me, some are like me, many are not, and the latter would highly concern me, I'd be all over him, with a plan to deal with it if you have the remotest concern about abuse.
showcrop
Well-known Member
Looks like it doesn't matter if you did the right thing or not. If he stormed away mad instead of saying he was sorry or standing there fearing the consequences for his bad judgement, it shows that you have already taught him not to worry about consequences. It shows that you have not disciplined him and now you must rely on the legal system to do it in your place. Yes you need to tell his mother! She probably loves him enough to take the severe action that the situation requires.
Daryl in PA
Member
Your watching to much Dr Phil
RamblinMan
Member
One night I went out to close up shop because it looked like rain. Noticed the car windows were all rolled down. Instead of going in and telling teenager to roll up the windows, I did it myself. Noticed the stench of tobacco in the car. Rolled up windows, went inside and went to bed. A little while later there was a knock on the door. Teenager admitted to smoking in the car. My response was "Your Grandma died of lung cancer after smoking for 70 years and I want you to out live me." Didn"t get mad, throw a hissy, just put the facts out there for teenager to adsorb. No more stench in the car after that.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
My paternal grandfather was orphaned and was sent to a logging camp in the "North Woods" when he was seven where he learned to drive oxen, chew tobacco, smoke cigars, fight whith logging chains, swear, drink whiskey, chop, saw, eat big meals, and, oh yes, they had a schoolhouse where he learned the three Rs. He could figure rather complex interest rates, feed rations, cattle prices, etc., in his head, in fact, kept most of what people store in computers nowadays in his head. He was an absolute gentleman around ladies and farmed well into his 90s. Driving tractors as well as horses. He was an accomplished violinist as well. Didn't stop chewing tobacco and drinking whiskey until just before he died. He told me about the first cigar he smoked at the age of about 8. He got so sick he had to go out in the woods and hide behind a stack of logs so no one would find out and make fun of him. Hope you all have a nice day. Bill(Wis)
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Beer is a drug. Contains alcohol. actually quite addicting.
Traditional Farmer
Well-known Member
- Location
- Virginia
Wonder where he learned to drink beer?Kids follow examples of their parents not do what they say.
80% of americans drink. That means if you only have a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve or a glass of wine on your birthday, just one drink a year, you drink. Of the 80% that drink, approximately 10% develop a problem with alcohol. Doesn't seem that it's all that "addictive" except for those that addict easily. And some do..
Our teenage son knew that drinking nor smoking wasnt allowed in our home and vehicles..We told him in advance what the consequences would be and he understood that..I wont say that he didnt drink but we never knew it..
After leaving home he did smoke and drink some but has pretty much quit now..He's in to running now ... Recently at age 28 he had the 4th fastest time in the 10K out of over 2000 runners...He was pretty good at Cross Country in HS..
You and your wife need to sit your son down and talk to him about underage drinking..He needs some rules...
I drink a little in my 20's but quit as it made me sick..When we got married my wife and I made a vow that we would never drink and 32 years later we have kept it..We both have seen too many families busted up by alcohol abuse..
After leaving home he did smoke and drink some but has pretty much quit now..He's in to running now ... Recently at age 28 he had the 4th fastest time in the 10K out of over 2000 runners...He was pretty good at Cross Country in HS..
You and your wife need to sit your son down and talk to him about underage drinking..He needs some rules...
I drink a little in my 20's but quit as it made me sick..When we got married my wife and I made a vow that we would never drink and 32 years later we have kept it..We both have seen too many families busted up by alcohol abuse..
sdc eastern ia
Member
In my teens and baling hay on a hot summers day someone would bring out a Hamms Beer. By the time it got to me it was p warm. Never did get the hankering for beer. In my later teens and twenties I was chasing Horse power Drag racing. Learned early on that if I wanted to drink or take drugs then there was no money for go-fast parts. Liberals say speed kills but I think it saved a lot of our butts.
I am an alcoholic, sober 38 yrs so far. I started drinking at home (Old german family) very young and I liked it. Finally at 40 it got the best of me. Lost everything including family. Now that being said, there are several things that bother me. FIRST of all, he lied to you. Then he had more beer than he could drink in several days and still function. The lying is the worst part. What else does he lie about. Time to put a stop to all of it right now, don't wait till this gets more serious. I am also a father so I know what I'm talking about. Make it a big issue now so it doesn't get bigger later.
Traditional Farmer
Well-known Member
- Location
- Virginia
Same could be said of Pot buts its illegal.
My kids have never seen me or my wife take a drink, smoke or anything else. We tried leading by example with the first 2 kids. Didn't work. They make their own choices. Don't tell me it's always the parents fault. 23 years in police work, I know what happens out there.
You have several issues going on here. He has beer as underage, he lied to your face, then got mad when caught.
I think just taking the beer away let him off way to easy. I would move him out of the basement and next to you, and ground him until he fesses up on who got him the beer.
I think just taking the beer away let him off way to easy. I would move him out of the basement and next to you, and ground him until he fesses up on who got him the beer.
Teasing Alert! Tell him he can drink all the beer he can make- starting with growing the barley and hops. Or drink all the wine he can make from grapes he grew, smoke all the tobaco he can grow. Moonshine whiskey also acceptable under same conditions- grow it, malt it, distill it after making still-- might want to have him get the $100.00 fuel distillers license for still.
Younger brother started drinking and smoking after he got his license and could drive aways. Couple times in state lockdown, couple times checked into detox by family and walked away. No problems past 3 years or so-died of massive heart attack with a bad liver, now a small pile of ash in ground. He died alone and lay on ground half day or so before anybody found him. RN
Younger brother started drinking and smoking after he got his license and could drive aways. Couple times in state lockdown, couple times checked into detox by family and walked away. No problems past 3 years or so-died of massive heart attack with a bad liver, now a small pile of ash in ground. He died alone and lay on ground half day or so before anybody found him. RN
Fullers Farmalls
Member
As a 21 year old I like to think I know more then my dad did... And at 17 I was sure of it. Well i was wrong. Ask him what he was going to do. Seriously. If he was going to sit in your basement and have maybe one or 2 buddies over for a few beers that is a heck of a lot better then him going to a party, driving there then trying to get home after he drank some. Think about that. Is it right? HECK NO!!!! Kids will most likely drink anyway. You seem to be understanding in that it was just beer. If you raised him right he will stay away from the bad stuff. Again I'm not saying its right but think of some of the alternatives. Just my 2 cents
Dad had a line he used on me, "don't make me have to throw your bail"! With the exception of 2 times that he may have had to (both high performance X stupidity related), I never crossed that line. Those 2 times the cops that 'pinched' me knew Dad and "gave me a ride home". Might have been better to have been shot on site. But he never had to throw my bail.
First I'd explain to the little dummy that it's way easier to hide on ounce of pot than a case of beer and it doesn't need iced down.
Then for buying Bud, I'd beat him 'til he bruised.
Next for buying Lite, I'd beat him 'til he bled.
Finally for bleeding, I'd beat him for bleeding.
Now that we have that out of the way and his attention, I'd sit him down and explain that he not only broke the law, but (I assume) he broke the rules of your home. He'd understand that actions have consequences and the consequences are normally called punishment.
Since I don't know your home, family, or even the general rules of civility when dealing with familial social problems I won't even try to prescribe a punishment for your boy, but you better get very creative in your planning. If he's got a basement haven, he'll be hard to convince that you're serious since he can pretty much survive underground and enjoy life through many penalties doled out by the old man.
Good luck, and better luck to your son.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
So what if you do? And you drink it when you see fit or feel the urge??
Don't let these feel good clowns try to put the blame on you..... It don't matter if it was beer, cigatettes, or woolyburgers....... Bottom line is he had it by illegal means, lied straight in your face, and turned his back on you.... I may be a little thick headed, but I don't think you, bein the owner and provider of/for the household, havin a beer has anything to do with that behavior...... But maybe some of the lovey dovey experts will correct me......
I doubt any of these feelgood experts that are tellin you ya shoulda handled it any other way that fast and hard ever had to go with a friend or family member identify a corpse that not even it's mother could recognize after a bunch of kids decided that it was OK to drink and party then drive somewhere.... Maybe watch someone waste away with aids cause an addiction got in the way of good thinking. Or, maybe just shot up cause they got caught stealing to support the new habit.....
Don't let anyone get to you......
There is only two things in this world that is lower than whaleshit..... A liar and a thief...... However anyone wants to dress it up, he lied to you and he stole the most valuable thing that you can have which is the feeling that you can trust him..... Seems a lot of the folks chimin in don't set alot of store in character......
Calm down Dave, this is not real life but even so you'll never get out of it alive. Consider that a man came on a public TRACTOR forum, where folks get upset and leave if there's a chance of getting manure on their tires at a plow day, and asked advice in parenting......
Really?
Deere Scotty
Member
I have a relative that got into it at about 15, or 16. The mother ignored it, & the dad didnt know; because she was on medication for brain chemical imbalance. That person is almost 30 now; hasnt kept a job more than a couple of weeks at a time; changed homes more times than I can count (20 - 30 times); harasses relatives on a massive scale, & is drunk almost 24 hours a day; if not. If I knew then what I know now... I probably would have put her in the hospital, after putting her through some drywall!!!
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
I's gots people skills......... Don't let anyone tell ya different.........
Farmall Nut
Member
Robert E Lee
Every child is different. He's yours, you love him and will do what you think is best for him.
My sister and I were raised in the same house with the same parents. I have never been a drinker or a drug user. My sister is the inverse.
My parents never drank or used drugs. My sister figured that one out all on her own.
I have to wonder why my parents facilitated her to such a degree. but then again I dont have children of my own and shouldnt question such things until I experience them myself.
The "disappointment speech" always worked on me. I was always a "do right" kind of kid.
At this age he is still expecting a response from you for what he has done. I would think you should still give him one.
Do as you see fit but I would suggest pouring yours and his beer out. Dont restock yours. That shows restraint on your part to help him understand that you are willing to do the same for his benefit.
If you dont already, take interest in his hobbies. Work on an old car/truck/tractor together. Attend his football practices as well as his games. Be an intricate part of his life.
If he knows you love him, he will likely respect your wishes.
Whatever happens, I wish for you and he the best.
My sister and I were raised in the same house with the same parents. I have never been a drinker or a drug user. My sister is the inverse.
My parents never drank or used drugs. My sister figured that one out all on her own.
I have to wonder why my parents facilitated her to such a degree. but then again I dont have children of my own and shouldnt question such things until I experience them myself.
The "disappointment speech" always worked on me. I was always a "do right" kind of kid.
At this age he is still expecting a response from you for what he has done. I would think you should still give him one.
Do as you see fit but I would suggest pouring yours and his beer out. Dont restock yours. That shows restraint on your part to help him understand that you are willing to do the same for his benefit.
If you dont already, take interest in his hobbies. Work on an old car/truck/tractor together. Attend his football practices as well as his games. Be an intricate part of his life.
If he knows you love him, he will likely respect your wishes.
Whatever happens, I wish for you and he the best.
Probably the exact same thing. Tell him you know he will try things and that's ok. Just don't make a career out of any of the recreational activities he tries. You will not stop him from doing anything he decides to do and you can drive yourself nuts trying to stop him. Forbidden fruit is always most coveted. If he is a generally good kid don't worry about it.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
I think the number is a lot higher than 10% if people were honest about their drinking habits. Alcohol has killed a lot of people, directly and indirectly.
I believe I would be finding out where a 17 year old got the beer. If one of his older buddies bought it then I would have a little talk with the buddy too.
22 cans of beer is a party not one guy drinking. He was holding for more than himself. I would collar him and find more of the story out.
22 cans of beer is a party not one guy drinking. He was holding for more than himself. I would collar him and find more of the story out.
M-MAN
Well-known Member
- Location
- Bostic, NC
I would probably have done the same thing. Seems kind of strange that folks are suprised he could buy it. I grew up in a dry county & could walk in to four different bootleggers less than a mile from the police station and courthouse and buy beer or whisky when I was 16. The boy lied - good grief, there ain't a teenager alive that don't do that. Anyone that thinks otherwise is dilusional.
As I remember when I was that age I was doing the same thing but I would leave my beer tied off in the river down the road well hidden not super cold but cold enough. That being said I think u did the right thing. I do believe the next time should be much more harse (hopefully there is no next time). You may want to talk about the dangers of alcohol and consequences if he would have been caught by the police.
Tim Barnes
Member
JohnB, Your son got off light, but he's YOUR son and you handled it as you saw fit. That's my opinion, which is worth what you paid for it. When I was 16 my father caught me with a pint of Hiram Walker Ten High, which I had bought from a bootlegger. My father was a USAF Master Sgt. on recruiting duty in our town and knew many of the policemen from checking records on possible recruits. After he kicked my *ss, he took me to the police station, along with the pint. He had called ahead and set me up with a detective he knew well. The detective asked where I got the liquor, when I wouldn't answer him he said 'Come with me, boy'. I spent the rest of the day and that night in a cell by myself next to the general lock up cell. My father went to his grave regretting how he handled this but looking back as a father myself, I think he was purty dang smart. One night in jail, watching drunks getting locked made me not to want end up where they were.
Traditional Farmer
Well-known Member
- Location
- Virginia
Thats my point drug use(alcohol is a drug) is a learned activity,and the son is only emulating what he's seen.Odd that the drug that causes the most damage in terms of $$$$ and human destruction is celebrated and regularly advertised in glamous terms in this country.
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