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Cowboy headstone winner!!! FUNNY

J

JDseller

Well-known Member
A COWBOY TOMBSTONE:
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.


FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.


I really liked this. The wife about laughed herself sick after reading it.
 
Dave the push mower is in the rainy day to-do pile. We are trying to keep the feed going to customers and get our own corn silage chopped. Then it will be high moisture corn shelling time just after that. I may not get to that push mower until winter. Grand Daughter is using my push mower. So it is covered. I am just curious about what is wrong with it or I would just junk it and go buy her a higher quality used mower.

The value of my time doing the harvesting work is much greater than the push mower is worth. I just logged 68 hours hauling feed this week plus The three hours each morning feeding the feeder cattle. So we are looking at 70-80 hour weeks now until harvest is over. You just need to take some time off and come over an help out. The grand daughters will even let you play with their horses so you don't get horse withdrawal. LMAO
 
That is hilarious!
Back in the mid '80s one of my best friends got married, the bach party and 2-3 day build up to the wedding involved wayyyyyy too much booze and a significant percentage of the local Law Enforcement Community (we all worked for one or the other of the local agencies.)
I was one of 2 guys in the wedding party, I assumed the other guy (another of my best friends) was the Best Man and I guess he assumed I was...it was kinda loosely arranged (the reception and after party were well thought out and planned, and probably lasted almost as long as the marriage!), when it came time to give the speech, we looked at each other in that 'I'm lost cuz I been on a 3 day bender way, my Friend jumped up and says "To Wives and Lovers...May they never meet!" The place went nuts with laughter except the table where the Bride's Parents and Grandparents were...
 
(quoted from post at 21:00:46 08/25/12) That is hilarious!
Back in the mid '80s one of my best friends got married, the bach party and 2-3 day build up to the wedding involved wayyyyyy too much booze and a significant percentage of the local Law Enforcement Community (we all worked for one or the other of the local agencies.)
I was one of 2 guys in the wedding party, I assumed the other guy (another of my best friends) was the Best Man and I guess he assumed I was...it was kinda loosely arranged (the reception and after party were well thought out and planned, and probably lasted almost as long as the marriage!), when it came time to give the speech, we looked at each other in that 'I'm lost cuz I been on a 3 day bender way, my Friend jumped up and says "To Wives and Lovers...May they never meet!" The place went nuts with laughter except the table where the Bride's Parents and Grandparents were...
Click to expand...


That's from an old Calvary toast (at a mens only formal dinner called a "dining in") "here's to our wives and the women we love (long pause) may they never meet".

Rick
 
Spike Milligan one of the original Goons and an English comedial has inscribed on his gravestone
'I told you I was ill'
Sam
 
How well I remember the old Dining Ins when they were men only! "Here's to my sister-in-law, Elizabeth, who only made love twice in her life. Once to the 1st Marine division and once to the 2d Marine division." I remember one time when we were permitted to leave the mess for a rest room break. When we came back, an officer arose and requested permission to make a comment. Permission was granted and he then stated that certain members of the Cavalry were seen to have used the ladies room and he would like an explanation. My A Troop Commander rose to the occasion by explaining that the mission of the Cavalry was to "Go Where No Man Had Gone Before". Brought the house down. Great memories.
 
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