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Anonymous-0
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[size=24:d532b6bb77][color=red:d532b6bb77][i:d532b6bb77][b:d532b6bb77]SSS[/b:d532b6bb77][/i:d532b6bb77][/color:d532b6bb77][/size:d532b6bb77]
Nebraska Cowman
Well-known Member
Have you tried romancing her lately? After 28 years I'd think keeping her would be the better option.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
OK, first advice is free.... Everything else I'll have to charge ya for.......
Get yourselves a motorcycle with a side car and one helmet.....
oldironman
Member
She will get over it sooner than you think. They are hard to live with during that time in there life. Don't make a long term fix to a short term problem.
larry@stinescorner
Well-known Member
hate to sound rude,but think of the saying,Its cheaper to keep her
A bit risky but try buying her sweets so she adds about 30 plus pounds so boyfriend loses interest. This is assuming she is not overweight at the present and the boyfriend does not have a thing for fat women. I am also assuming that a divorce means dissolving your business and she gets part of the proceeds.
You can worry about the weight loss later along with the alleged "change of life."
You can worry about the weight loss later along with the alleged "change of life."
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Maybe try to get yourself a 28 year old girlfriend and let her know she is a threat to her. Sometime reality can smack you right out of any funk you are in.
Keith Molden
Well-known Member
I believe, if it were me, I'd slowly remove ALL my tractors and equipment as well as most of my tools from there to somewhere she couldn't find them, or at least sell them on paper to a friend I could completely trust. Then I'd file before she has the opportunity. She might not have any interest in those things, but I'd be willing to bet she and the friend have a big interest in money. I tried that old thing of forgive and forget, but it just didn't work, soon it was another guy. It's hard, but you'll be better off in the long run. Just my thoughts, Keith
Kieth Molden, is Right! I"m currently storeing
tools for a friend, whose wife had no idea what,
or how many, he had. He slowley boxed them up
and moved them, when he saw that things were
going sour, and his wife had a "New friend", a
lady friend!
Also, 2 years ago I went to a yard sale that had
$$$ in Snap-On tools that the EX was selling!
She had no idea what they were for..but knew that
they represented CASH!
The quickest way to hurt a man is to sell his
tools out from under him.
tools for a friend, whose wife had no idea what,
or how many, he had. He slowley boxed them up
and moved them, when he saw that things were
going sour, and his wife had a "New friend", a
lady friend!
Also, 2 years ago I went to a yard sale that had
$$$ in Snap-On tools that the EX was selling!
She had no idea what they were for..but knew that
they represented CASH!
The quickest way to hurt a man is to sell his
tools out from under him.
Kieth Molden, is Right! I"m currently storeing
tools for a friend, whose wife had no idea what,
or how many, he had. He slowley boxed them up
and moved them, when he saw that things were
going sour, and his wife had a "New friend", a
lady friend!
Also, 2 years ago I went to a yard sale that had
$$$ in Snap-On tools that the EX was selling!
She had no idea what they were for..but knew that
they represented CASH!
The quickest way to hurt a man is to sell his
tools out from under him.
tools for a friend, whose wife had no idea what,
or how many, he had. He slowley boxed them up
and moved them, when he saw that things were
going sour, and his wife had a "New friend", a
lady friend!
Also, 2 years ago I went to a yard sale that had
$$$ in Snap-On tools that the EX was selling!
She had no idea what they were for..but knew that
they represented CASH!
The quickest way to hurt a man is to sell his
tools out from under him.
James Howell
Well-known Member
Try coming home from work and finding the house empty; even gave away my guns and dog.
Nancy Howell
Well-known Member
Sorry you're going through that.
Since James and I both had previous marriages, if it does get to the point of a divorce, a good divorce attorney is a MUST. We know from firsthand experience.
James' ex sold his tools and some of his vintage guns, my ex would not give me some of my dad's military stuff. Do what you need to do and still be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
Since James and I both had previous marriages, if it does get to the point of a divorce, a good divorce attorney is a MUST. We know from firsthand experience.
James' ex sold his tools and some of his vintage guns, my ex would not give me some of my dad's military stuff. Do what you need to do and still be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Exactly... SSS.. once a dog kills a chicken, it's got that taste in it's mouth and won't stop........
Sign everything over to me.I ain't there to do anything with it and I'll sign it back over when you are ready.... Or just pile everything up and set it on fire....
Now is the time for the OP to do careful evaluation of the situation including being honest with himself as to how things are. If this is just an itch for the OP to make a change for the sake of change then he should consider trying to find ways of overhauling his marriage as a divorce will mean an unpleasant financial change. The thing I see with farmers is finding a wife today is extremely difficult unless that farmer is in very good financial condition. Extremely few women want to enter a situation where things are going to financially uphill for the next couple of decades never mind the house where they will live looks like it needs to be bulldozed over. No wonder when I see younger farmers (non- Mennonite or non- Amish) they are typically bachelors.
You are going to feel the "pain" financially. After 28 years you are going to give her "half" of everything. If you have land then it is going to be appraised at current value. I am willing to bet that the current half will be a lot higher than what you gave for it. Any retirement you have earned is going to be split too.
I would not divorce her unless you are thinking of a replacement. This does not mean you need to keep living with her. Also maybe you need to have a talk with this "new friend. One of my boys was having this type of issue. I went and had a long talk with the poacher/friend/cheater. He suddenly found out that he was not as interested as he thought he was.
You need to start splitting things up RIGHT NOW. go move half your money into a separate account. If you don't she can go clean it out and it is almost impossible to get a court to make her give it up. Change the beneficiary on any insurance policies you have.
If you have a good friend/brother that you can trust. Sell him everything you can. The longer before the big "D" the lower the price you can get away with. Brother's wife decided to up date lovers. HE sold me all of his equipment for ten cents on the dollar. The farm he had a mortgage that left little equity.
Don't sleep with her any more. If she is being physical with the new friend you then will be sharing all of HIS diseases. Many of the new STDs are not curable. Even the low threat stuff like herpes is forever.
Lastly. I would not want a women that wants someone else. I watched my Father cheat on my mother for years. I could not do anything then about it. It did cause me to lose all respect for him. You may have noticed that I talk about my Grand fathers but rarely my father. He lives just across the road but I rarely have much to do with him. Loyalty is a big thing to me and one you lose that it is gone forever. So I would never trust your wife again. The excuse of "going through the change of life" is just an excuse. I don't remember there being an exception clause in my marriage vow's to allow "close friends". Like the others have stated on here, she would look at YOU having a good looking young thing for a "close friend" a whole lot different than what she is wanting you to do.
I would start splitting thing RIGHT NOW not tomorrow. I would never share the money from now on. She has shown she can't be trusted. Protect your self.
I would not divorce her unless you are thinking of a replacement. This does not mean you need to keep living with her. Also maybe you need to have a talk with this "new friend. One of my boys was having this type of issue. I went and had a long talk with the poacher/friend/cheater. He suddenly found out that he was not as interested as he thought he was.
You need to start splitting things up RIGHT NOW. go move half your money into a separate account. If you don't she can go clean it out and it is almost impossible to get a court to make her give it up. Change the beneficiary on any insurance policies you have.
If you have a good friend/brother that you can trust. Sell him everything you can. The longer before the big "D" the lower the price you can get away with. Brother's wife decided to up date lovers. HE sold me all of his equipment for ten cents on the dollar. The farm he had a mortgage that left little equity.
Don't sleep with her any more. If she is being physical with the new friend you then will be sharing all of HIS diseases. Many of the new STDs are not curable. Even the low threat stuff like herpes is forever.
Lastly. I would not want a women that wants someone else. I watched my Father cheat on my mother for years. I could not do anything then about it. It did cause me to lose all respect for him. You may have noticed that I talk about my Grand fathers but rarely my father. He lives just across the road but I rarely have much to do with him. Loyalty is a big thing to me and one you lose that it is gone forever. So I would never trust your wife again. The excuse of "going through the change of life" is just an excuse. I don't remember there being an exception clause in my marriage vow's to allow "close friends". Like the others have stated on here, she would look at YOU having a good looking young thing for a "close friend" a whole lot different than what she is wanting you to do.
I would start splitting thing RIGHT NOW not tomorrow. I would never share the money from now on. She has shown she can't be trusted. Protect your self.
First off nothing is ever "Etched In Stone". When people are talking there is still some hope left. When someone makes up their mind it is hard to change it no matter what you do. Believe me a no fault divorce is 50% proposition. 50% of eveything you acquired together is hers. No lawyer out there is going to get more unless you crawl under a rock and don't fight the distribution. I jsut say nothing to ehr and see what happens,.
Allan in NE
Well-known Member
"Un-wrap" your head and let 'er run. Heck, you're gonna cut 'er loose anyway, ain't ya?
You don't EVEN wanna get involved with the courts. What she doesn't take the lawyers will.
You don't know broke until you've been thru a divorce court.
Allan
You don't EVEN wanna get involved with the courts. What she doesn't take the lawyers will.
You don't know broke until you've been thru a divorce court.
Allan
Allan in NE
Well-known Member
"Un-wrap" your head and let 'er run. Heck, you're gonna cut 'er loose anyway, ain't ya?
You don't EVEN wanna get involved with the courts. What she doesn't take the lawyers will.
You don't know broke until you've been thru a divorce court.
Allan
You don't EVEN wanna get involved with the courts. What she doesn't take the lawyers will.
You don't know broke until you've been thru a divorce court.
Allan
You can sue the boyfriend for "alienation of affection".
As others have said start hiding money and goods. Take ALL the liquid $ you have out of the accounts. Just say you lost it at the track, drank a lot, spent it on expensive dinners women etc. Things that don't leave a trail.
Sell any extra guns or cars or whatever you don't need . Get cash, no receipts. Hide that money.
Start charging everything on your joint credit cards if you have them. At divorce they will be a joint debt. If your car is paid for she will get half so go sell it and buy a a brand new car on time payments, put as little dawn as possible. That car will be a joint debt. Stop making any payments on joint property. Those will becom joint debts.
If you don't get a divorce get that cash into the hands of someone you know and trust implicitly, in the order of a promissary note, and NEVER let the wife know of it.
As others have said start hiding money and goods. Take ALL the liquid $ you have out of the accounts. Just say you lost it at the track, drank a lot, spent it on expensive dinners women etc. Things that don't leave a trail.
Sell any extra guns or cars or whatever you don't need . Get cash, no receipts. Hide that money.
Start charging everything on your joint credit cards if you have them. At divorce they will be a joint debt. If your car is paid for she will get half so go sell it and buy a a brand new car on time payments, put as little dawn as possible. That car will be a joint debt. Stop making any payments on joint property. Those will becom joint debts.
If you don't get a divorce get that cash into the hands of someone you know and trust implicitly, in the order of a promissary note, and NEVER let the wife know of it.
In my opinion, you have to take care of yourself and your possessions. Meaning in whatever way you can, you need to sell, dispose of, hide, etc. your possessions. Be cool and don't rock the boat until you get your ducks lined up best you can. You need to protect what you have worked for. Your wife, if like mine and most ex-wives, will throw her part of the proceeds away in a hurry. Mine hooked up with a guy flipping burgers at McDonalds. Didn't have 2 nickeks. She sure was proud of him though.
A lawyer will be able to assist you in the legal aspects, but basically it is your call on how you deal with the untitled possessions.
I know how you feel. In 1991 I filed for divorce after 18 years and 2 kids. Got to pay again for half of what I had already paid for once. Wife never held a job or helped on the farm. Finally came to the point that it was just a business deal that had gone bad. Took my losses and started over. I was 38 years old. Best decision I ever made.
In 1993 I met another woman, got married, and its been a hell of a ride ever since.
I am now 58 and basically retired. Got someone who I know cares about me. Don't have to wonder any more. There is life after on of these situations, but you have to look for it. Best of luck.
A lawyer will be able to assist you in the legal aspects, but basically it is your call on how you deal with the untitled possessions.
I know how you feel. In 1991 I filed for divorce after 18 years and 2 kids. Got to pay again for half of what I had already paid for once. Wife never held a job or helped on the farm. Finally came to the point that it was just a business deal that had gone bad. Took my losses and started over. I was 38 years old. Best decision I ever made.
In 1993 I met another woman, got married, and its been a hell of a ride ever since.
I am now 58 and basically retired. Got someone who I know cares about me. Don't have to wonder any more. There is life after on of these situations, but you have to look for it. Best of luck.
Nathan (SD)
Member
If you got kids, don't leave them wondering. Inform them of the problem and the solutions before you take any action. Be clear that you still need to look out for yourself. They may help or hinder you, but inform them.
Luckily my parents are still married after 40 years but I got alot of friends my age where that aint the case. The ones that took it the hardest were the ones that were blindsided by the actions of one parent or the other.
Luckily my parents are still married after 40 years but I got alot of friends my age where that aint the case. The ones that took it the hardest were the ones that were blindsided by the actions of one parent or the other.
Just went thru that. Whatever you do, hide and move anything that you care about. My ex and I had an agreement that all tools and lawn equipment would stay with the house. When I finally got the house, it all was gone. She even gave a new lawn tractor to the neighbor. He refused to give it back to me. Get out of that marriage and find a good woman who care for you. I am now living with my hi school sweetheart and we are both 80. Get as much from her as you can. Henry
James Howell
Well-known Member
With Texas being one of eight <a href="http://www.legalzoom.com/marriage-divorce-family-law/divorce/ins-and-outs">community property</a> states, the husband leaves the community and the wife gets all the property.
Tom-NorthCenTX
Member
Get the lawyer quickly and quitely. Never tip your hand to her. Now reach down and grow some b*lls and get away from her. You should not have ANYTHING to do with her, she has already lain with another man; and from the sounds of it, not her first. Get a good medical check up, including tests for all known STDs; lord knows what she has by now. Tom
buickanddeere
Well-known Member
As previously stated she is temporarily out of her mind with a combo of hormones, too much TV, friends"s advice, marital stress etc. In a few months she will be all sheepish and feeling guilty. It will cost less money and emotions to hold your nose and let it run it"s course. Have you by chance ever cheated or for some reason she got it in her head that you had?
My condolences for your situation. Some of the other posts have pointed out that spouses may become the physco from he11 so be careful. Some of the advice given here is borderline illegal, the first advice is to get a lawyer, but legal ethics is an oxymoron just like military intelligence, seek advice but don't share actions. Unfortunately we often "learn" how to select a spouse by trial and error, and we often start the spouse selection process about the same time we are convinced that our parents are idiots, we realize how smart they were about the time the 1st divorce occurs. It's not just the youngsters that have this problem my father-in-law buried two wives and the third became a large problem, we almost wonder if she wasn't part of his decline and death. Now let me jump on a soap box, I feel that no-fault divorce has deteriorated our society. Encourage your state legislature to change the divorce laws to allow a wronged spouse to seek a divorce with the cheating spouse at a disadvantage in the eyes of the law, or that spouse that broke the marriage vows would loose a portion of the "EQUITABLE DIVISION" of community property and maybe allow you to sue the person your spouse is cheating with to defray the costs of your divorce. I am not advocating the elimination of no-fault divorce, just give the wronged spouse an at-fault option that doesn't injure their finances as much.
Heat Houser
Member
Yep, me too.... I still miss my ex but my aim is improving.......
Check the medicine cabinet. Your wife may not be who she used to be. Get a good doctor to review her pill supplementation. Don't ask how I know but been married 44 years. Drugs are drugs, even from doctors and they do have side effects. Total insanity can result. Good Luck and God bless. Dave
buickanddeere
Well-known Member
Was she by chance married right out of highschool and pregnant within a year?
Mark - IN.
Well-known Member
Is adultery a valid reason anymore? Seriously.
In my mind, adultery would have to be right up there as the number one reason. Possibly in your mind too. As a matter of fact, my guess is that it would rank right up there with most normal people. All of that being said, seems to me that I had heard that adultery is no longer a valid reason in some states, possibly Illinois too. No joke. Not a valid reason? Where's my gun?
There are some things lawyers are good for, knowing the law better than me would be one. Doesn't mean I like them, but, they do tend to know the laws better than me.
Mark
In my mind, adultery would have to be right up there as the number one reason. Possibly in your mind too. As a matter of fact, my guess is that it would rank right up there with most normal people. All of that being said, seems to me that I had heard that adultery is no longer a valid reason in some states, possibly Illinois too. No joke. Not a valid reason? Where's my gun?
There are some things lawyers are good for, knowing the law better than me would be one. Doesn't mean I like them, but, they do tend to know the laws better than me.
Mark
Mark - IN.
Well-known Member
I'm very sorry to hear it, and if you cannot work it out or smooth it over with her and decide to get a divorce, look for a good attorney that is FEMALE. Females know females, and in a divorce court, having a good female attorney on your side as opposed to against you, is a good thing. Its like having two cats fight, except that your good FEMALE attorney, knowing women far better than you, will tie up and gag your soon to be ex-wife before she slices and dices with absolutely zero compassion or mercy in return for good pay though. I've witnessed brutal things in my life, never anything so brutal as that. I kid you not. Is nothing to compare it to. Brutal, just brutal.
Mark
Mark
huntingreen2day
Member
Be the first to file. Don't leave any large amounts in joint accounts. Offer her a straight up cash settlement when it get down to that. Don't assume she is going to get 1/2 of everything and just give it up to her. Get it over with as soon as possible so you can get on with your life. HIRE a woman lawyer. I was lucky. Mine filed, did not clean out the bank account or me. I was divorced at age 55.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
If she's layin around, you may be able to set yourself up real nice...
Start looking around... If you find birth control pills, replace them with something that looks like them. If you find any other contraseptives (sp?), get you a needle and poke a hole in em ald put em back like you found them..... If she gets knocked up, she won't have as much hold on the situation.... My divorce from my practice wife cost me 400 bucks and I never even met or talked to the lawyer. I was over here, my brother told me she was screwing around. Called her and she started stuttering. 2 months later I was in the States for school, called her and said I'd be coming with divorce papers and she started really stuttering. Hung up and called my brother, he said she was looking a little pudgy, told him to take care of it for me. I got three registered letters, one to sign the initial papers, one to sign the finals, and one containing the freedom papers and a reciept for the 400 bucks my brother put in for me. Had she not been in the family way, it'd been pretty costly and drawn out I guess....
lessons ive learned in a divorce, if she is running around, give her the boot, she always will be, but first, take half of your money and put it in an account she cant access, when the procedings start the money is the first thing she will go for, her'half' will still be there, take the items which were yours befor the marrage and hide them someplace else, her lawyer will try to sell off any 'extra' vehicles equipment ect since 'she now needs money to live on' yes her lawyer actually said that one to me, by that time my stuff was well hid 20 miles from the house, anything you bought while married is community property, this is the stuff you get to fight over, if her lawyer scores her the house, make sure he also scores the payment book that goes with it, if she cant keep up the payments you'll have a chance to get it back at the auction, dont threaten her, if she has a man hating female lawyer, she probably is recording every word you say, especially if she is doing her best to goad you into a argument, if she has a male lawyer time will prove she is probably doing him too , dont try to 'reason with her lawyer, this is a fight, believe it, its a race to see who gets the most stuff, being reasonable will only cost you more, if you can get photo evidence of her running around, the more the better, before everything blows sky high, you may be able to get half of your stuff, otherwise she will get her half, and half of your stuff too , last, even though she started this, dont replace her with a better looking or younger woman untill AFTER everything is final, this one is important, her lawyers job is to take you to the cleaners, and he or espcially if its a she, wont miss a trick if there any good, and will probably invent a few new ones along the way too
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
I thought this was a tractor discusion board? Not a divorce page lolol.
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