OT-Random Q A on reaching 60 years of age...Men Women

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's azz all the way to Egypt."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+- year-old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+-year-old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short- term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eyeglasses? A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these."

Love making tips for seniors’

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1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

I can relate to this, she doesn't think it's funny.

11. If your easily embarrassed,don't try it once.

If it were not for us old timers, there would be a lot less jokes circulating! And we can still laugh at ourselves.

What were we talking about ?

why ? she won't remember. LOL