I's all in the last line.

Never argue with an idiot,He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a Garage makes you a Car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you,but it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you,we would both be wrong.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Hospitality is making your Guests feel like they're at home,even if you wish they were.

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

Knowledge is knowing a Tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and beer gut and still think they are sexee.

How is it that one careless match can start a bushfire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.

Dolphins are so smart that within a week of captivity,they can train people to stand on the edge of the pool and throw fish.

If at first you don't succeed, then parachuting is not for you.

Good stuff! here's a few more.........

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?


With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.


To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.


A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.


Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Thats great Guys. Thanks for the laugh!

"Trouble with that old boy is he believes everything he thinks."